Final Fantasy VII Sidequest: Wu-Tai Clan Ain’t Nuthing Ta F’ Wit

In this episode we track down that mischievous Ninja, vacation with the Turks in Wu-Tai, settle an old score, and lean into some heavy Vincent good-good. Thanks for listening!

❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.

View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript

Haney 0:00
Hey listener first encounters an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Did you know that first encounter is joined to collective this filter action collective is a nerdy and independent Arts Collective form to support indie creators while promoting community inclusion and the drive to grow and improve

Chris 0:15
go to spell potion comm to learn more? So I’ve been doing something fun of you semi regularly when I have time. Talk to me,

Haney 0:22
tell me what fun is like.

Chris 0:23
So the material lockdown challenge is to raise money for the motor neuron disease Association basically by streaming yourself playing Final Fantasy seven that sounds cool. The way it works is when you pick up a new character in Final Fantasy seven they get assigned a class and that determines the material that can equipment so for example, my cloud can equip a blue materia and yellow materia

Haney 0:42
those are really useful together in particular absolutely yeah,

Chris 0:46
my first roadblock was definitely when I fought Rufus without any spells for cloud oh god oh,

Haney 0:51
solo fight if I remember right, sure. Oh, that’s one on two in fact right as you’re writing him and his pet

Chris 0:57
Yeah. Brutal really fun time it’s really cool way to switch up your final fantasy seven gameplay

Haney 1:03
and it’s very great cause

Chris 1:04
Yeah, so material lockdown calm check it out. Really cool. So this is our first listener mail Oh,

Haney 1:12
oh man listener met Wait, let me get some folly work going here though is like I’ve never done sound design before. Get it? Cuz I haven’t. I’m gonna focus on opening this now before i get Calabria please send Oh man, hard like protector and everything. Holy shit. Oh, man. Card Dear Christian Hani. As promised here’s a piece of fan art for whatever highly shaded and conspicuous wall space you deem appropriate for it. Thanks to the great joy in entertainment first encounter brings me karma pay you back in kind tenfold sincerely, Mary aka Calabria. Mary, you are a delight to talk to you and to work with at all times. And the way you have just brightened Chris and I’s days ever since you joined our silly little discord and started reaching out on Twitter has been incredible. And speaking of incredible, this is legitimate art. We have here the most beautiful, beautiful drawing of Kate Seth with our first encounter podcast logo and Kate’s of clutching a microphone. This is just a delight. Thanks so much, Mary. That’s so cool, dude. Yeah.

But not every time. Now think about that one. Every night because I fall asleep. every fucking night you’re trying to determine which is the moist wetness in your undergarments.

Chris 2:54
It’s always the poopy one. Welcome back to this. Hey,

Haney 2:58
I hope you missed us since the last time we blasted your ears. What doesn’t garbage

Chris 3:05
start start started over Oh, okay. If you can turn your attention this way, Mr. Han? Yes. We have a Patreon now what? Yeah, like it’s not a joke. This time for money.

Haney 3:16
Yeah. So let me get this straight. Human beings. Yes. And people who identify as other than human beings. Yes, are actively paying us to continue making this podcast.

Chris 3:28
I don’t think they’ve been charged yet. But Almost. Almost they are.

Haney 3:32
Are they aware that they’re being charged? I hope so to convince them that it was somehow not to support this podcast continue existence. Now. They just love our shenanigans. Well, I think that’s worth a big friggin Herat. Don’t you?

Chris 3:46
Yeah. So big, big, big thanks to Denise

Haney 3:49
Mary Tyler, Dr. J. Brandon, August Island, Leo Hani and Chris. That’s a lot of patrons.

Chris 3:57
Yeah, holy shit.

Haney 3:58
If you’re interested in helping us to continue growing and improving first encounter, go over to patreon.com slash first encounter and become a subscriber today. So that’s a lot about the first encounter and other nonsense. Why don’t we talk about the real heart of what makes first encounter first encounter and that’s playing video games together? Oh, yes. Would you like to discuss the most recent playthrough of Final Fantasy seven?

Chris 4:23
So we have some things to go over today.

Haney 4:30
How do you feel about him? Pain, rage and upset? Mostly? What are you feeling? I mean, I had

Chris 4:36
a better time than you because I didn’t have to go through it.

Haney 4:39
I don’t. I didn’t necessarily have a bad time. I think I had just hyped up what this was going to be in my head way more than what it turned out to be.

Chris 4:46
I think you got really excited about the name of this episode. Yes.

Haney 4:51
And just ran with it. Yeah, I think I thought there was going to be significantly less Don Cornell in my life. Yeah, yeah. And I feel a little upset, trapped like a moth in a bath. It’s just terrible. A moth in a bath. Don’t worry about it continue. I loved parts of the side quest. meeting up his family was very fun. The tower while it was weird was enjoyable and the scenery and mootai is really cool but the overall like stretch of like, Yeah, well we’ll dive in piece by piece but we are coming out of too much heavy. Good. Good. So we decided to take a break, relax a little bit and down traveled to the resort town of blue tie to have ourselves a little vacation.

Chris 5:33
Yeah, man, what a beautiful stretch of land.

Haney 5:36
Yeah, it’s really obnoxious though. Because when you get there you feel fucking robs you again.

Chris 5:42
Can I would like to take a quick step back because I find this very funny. We opened the episode with Hani spending a good chunk of time, as is tradition on the podcast now of just swapping material re equipping everyone getting real ready, you know, for the whole day.

Haney 5:59
Hmm. Can I interest you, and throwing away any sort of story progression that you were planning on today and instead doing anything else,

Chris 6:09
whilst you have to do

Haney 6:10
well, part of my to dues are visiting certain areas of this map with specific characters and trying to see if I can trigger something.

Chris 6:20
So we’re always triggering me.

Haney 6:21
Hmm. So here’s what I’m gonna do, Chris, if you Will, Will you receive your favorite part of the episode? Love it?

Chris 6:34
We should do this at the end of the episode. No.

Haney 6:39
Absolutely not. Because then I won’t be able to make you miserable. jabbering is nice. Yeah. Keep that on her. Actually, that’s

Chris 6:47
pretty good.

Haney 6:49
We’re also going to give her her lightning added effect. That sounds fun. I’m gonna give her steel, because it just feels like it should be on her to help you take notes. So you roll up to woo tie. And almost immediately you’re confronted by Shinra soldiers. But if he’s not part of the fight, no. And I believe the other member of my party was Vincent at this time. So Claude and Vincent, you know, take care of business. I didn’t really use any spells because you know, they’re Shinra soldiers and not wasting MP. But as soon as the battle ends, Vincent’s like, up took all of our material and zita data here. Clouds like sun. Just gonna go in here.

Chris 7:31
Oh, allow it today.

Haney 7:32
Will you allow it? Yeah. Thanks. Finally, for this one. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What happened all of a sudden?

Unknown Speaker 7:40
I know this area pretty well. It gets pretty tough past here.

Haney 7:44
Better get ready. Further down. I don’t see any signs of danger. No, no, it’s really tough. Do they are cut? What? Shinra Hey, that’s not done. These are the other guys from before. So what does this mean? You Will explain later? I had nothing to do with this one. What do you mean this one? You had something else in mind? No, no. Um, give them give them some questions later. I like the idea that eufy did not fucking like do anything there. And she’s not

Chris 8:17
Where’s your Didn’t you equip your material? Yeah. Why? Because you don’t have any. You only have a tech item commands. Now.

Haney 8:26
I thought something was wrong. So that’s it. Oh, fuck. Well, okay. My material has been stolen. Hey, we got a problem. Our material is all gone. Hey,

Chris 8:39
where’s you?

Haney 8:39
Oh, god dammit up. Why do you like her? I would have just left her in the woods. The financial is gonna take my stuff. Oh, here we are. We determined that she had a North we can take off in that direction and we come across the village of Wu Tae. Woo Tae is a very cool little town that used to be home to some fierce warriors it seems but has since the war. I love war that they always reference all over the place, but you never find out more about it. At least not yet. But in this town, it seems like everyone’s just trying to kind of just make their living and doesn’t really want to do anything else.

Chris 9:18
You know what’s very strange about Wu Tae was that it’s mentioned as a resort town and but there’s no one visiting and also nobody wants to sell you shit or have anything to do with you. Yeah, they’re terrible resort town. Yeah,

Haney 9:30
it was very strange. Very small town though. We started exploring I think I went through you know, every door that I could check out some shops. There’s nothing to buy of any worth really. This is also some should have been visited significantly earlier in the game. Host Temple of the ancients. Yeah, and that was about 30 hours ago. Oh, it’s been a bit. Oh, this is cute. Hey, man hunter down but this village is too cute to know. I’ll explore what’s going on in here. I look Grandpa, grandpa. Oh, you know lately things have been like that. You can even see the moon at noon. Everyone’s celebrating.

Chris 10:15
No Gramps. That’s a big red planet in the sky. Everyone’s scared of it. What is this guy interest you in? Cat house?

Haney 10:33
No. I’m definitely uninterested in kind of terrified. This is what I fear you Will become. I can only dream. This is the whole fucking point while building my man,

Chris 10:44
are you stuck? Well, I guess this is how the game ends.

Haney 10:49
So we start tearing the town apart trying to find up. There’s a weapon shop there’s a material store. There’s a couple of houses. Actually. We found it really nice like magic turbo like material or something like that. Or MP absorb that was it and up drops from the rafters steals it from us and eats herself out of there again. Yeah, there’s nothing worse. Whoo. mp absorbed materia. Oh, Jesus,

Chris 11:18
you’re like, God dammit. Stole MP materia? We do find some old friends who are chillin having a very vacation time.

Haney 11:26
Yeah. So we stumble into the n slash bar. And there is a group of Turks having some meals and drinks at a table and they want basically nothing to do with us. Except for Atlanta, our old friend. Hey, he’s gonna pull up a chair and start drinking with the Turks. Please. Hey, guys. Yeah, how did you get here? Never mind that gets its fate that brought us together. Get ready to die.

Chris 11:54
Elena, you tap too much. Why were we doing way out here in the middle of nowhere.

Haney 12:01
We’re taking a vacation and resting up from our work. Now our vacation is

Chris 12:05
ruined. But But even though booze tastes bad? No.

Haney 12:10
I’m sorry. Drink rude.

Chris 12:13
Mean, jerks been heard at times, but oh, I’m glad I did it. After all. I got to meet a bunch of wingnuts like you.

Haney 12:22
Can we call our fans wingnuts to the Turks to Reno. Sure. That was I like that. They just randomly put them in there. Sometimes. I like Lena. I wonder what happens to her. It can’t be anything good.

Chris 12:35
Hard to say. Like a safe point.

Haney 12:37
Do I trust safe points but the FBI around? We’re just kind of stumbling around town trying to find something. And we eventually stumble upon a older man. asleep. We have to talk to him a million times apparently to make anything else happen. This is after 1520 minutes of me just Bumble fucking my way around. Whoo. Ty. I climbed dutchtown Mountain just did everything I could. Nothing happens. That’s it.

Oh, wait. Hey, well, that’s enough of that. I guess.

Chris 13:15
All right, cool. Well, this has been a real route. I have a tie over time. It’s gonna leave town didn’t eat any of that material anyway, does anyone want it? Do you want to know where to go? Yeah, you have to go talk to that sleepy guy. Again. Yeah. Why? It’s because it’s a JRPG Dude, you talk to people more than once else are you supposed to get to know him?

Haney 13:35
He basically it’s just like at what up not know up here. I don’t know anyone name up. Get the fuck out. Don’t know up. Finally up. barges and she’s like, Dad.

Chris 13:47
I’m here. You’re embarrassing me embarrassing me. Listen, I said I don’t know her. There. Isn’t

Haney 13:54
anyone named up here and woo tie up? Isn’t her real name is it?

Chris 13:57
I don’t care about who you are. But if you’re in trouble with the Shinra I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I don’t want the chinar hanging around here looking over my shoulder.

Unknown Speaker 14:07
What’s with you, you coward. Oh, up, up, up. Up. You scared to the Shinra Then why don’t you just bow down and obey them like all the other towns? You got beat once so what that’s it? What happened to the mighty Wu Tang? I

Haney 14:22
used to No, no could like us going to talk to me like that. You keep acting like that. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. That’s my style. And it’s my business, not yours. Don’t try and dictate what I should do. I feel like this might be her father style dictate why all those fancy words? You’re a rotten daughter.

Chris 14:42
Nailed it. Hmm, you’re sad excuse for a father.

Haney 14:47
We end up following her around again. Just trying to find where in town she is.

Chris 14:54
Where could she have gone? She’s up here. We already went up here.

Haney 14:59
But now record something. Oh, that was unnecessary.

Chris 15:05
Everything we’re doing today is unnecessary,

Haney 15:07
man. We’re not even recording I haven’t plugged all the microphones, thank God, I want to have sex to the song just on repeat.

Chris 15:14
Didn’t didn’t tune in for our live stream.

Haney 15:20
I think at this point we find her in the house at the beginning of the blue tie village and it’s just like this old grandfather and his like granddaughter granddaughters running around just like some weirdos are in here. You’re like the weirdo that came in here earlier that ninja girl. So you just start looking around open up a, you know bamboo slider screen, and lo and behold, if you just crouched behind it like a little monster, fuckin gaetz again, I think the running and hiding was probably the most frustrating part of this. For me, it was just like the Oh my God,

Chris 15:53
I actually found that the most fun I think if it opened with you trying to track down up in the town by going to

Haney 16:00
as opposed to like having to find her father and like trigger that. cutscene Yeah, like how do you know to like talk to someone nine times before they if I can make anything happen. So you feed runs away out of the house, and we start looking again, in the town. And we find a little like pot outside of the materia shop. I believe that’s just kind of shaking. And we’re like, all right, like we know what to do. Bear and Vincent cover the exits. Well, clouds to start smacking the pot is like, Hey, hey, finally, she hops out, tries to do a runner, Barrett stops or tries to run the other way events and steps in front of her. And then cloud corners. And she’s like, okay, fine, I’ll take you to the materia she leads the three of you out of the screen. And then in the focus, which is on to to Shin regards running behind you into the bar. And when they run into the bar, they basically just run up to the Turks, and they’re like, we need you. And they’re like, no.

Chris 16:56
So when they said, We know he’s in town, yeah. Who did you think they were talking about?

Haney 17:01
I thought it was cloud. Yeah. Did not expect it to be who it was. Sure reports. were

Chris 17:07
right. here on vacation, we finally found him. Got the Turks here for backup. What a drag was that? We’re off duty now and can’t save your butts. We know you’re off duty. But if you knew that don’t bother us. Looking at you is making me sober.

Haney 17:25
But you Will have orders from headquarters to one firm to Alright, fine. We’ll get him without any help from the text. Just you see. I don’t think that headquarters isn’t going to hear about this. Right now. Do you really think that was such a good idea? I mean, is that the way a professional Turk would act?

Chris 17:42
Elena Don’t misunderstand. Those who sacrifice themselves for their job aren’t bros just fools road? Yeah. Well, I

Haney 17:52
don’t buy that goodbye. Elena pieces out with the Shinra guards. And then we switch focus back to up up tells us that we can have the material back and all we have to do is flip the left switch on this little machine that she has in our loft. Cool. I put the right one because I know she’s a liar.

Chris 18:13
You showed her

Haney 18:14
cage drops from the ceiling and traps Vincent and Barrett poor guys. And while we’re dealing with that situation up does another runner. Yep. But But she gives us a clue. She does. She says just make sure next time you look for the material. You’ll have to steal it. Haha, get it steal and it’s spelled like s t e l

Chris 18:34
s t e l?

Haney 18:36
What did I say? STL. Yeah, that’s how you spell spell.

Chris 18:39
You have to spell it.

Unknown Speaker 18:41
I know the materia right? I have it stored in a safe place. Follow me.

Haney 18:46
I like how she’s doing. That’s really thumbs.

Chris 18:47
I’ve been hearing that ever since I

Unknown Speaker 18:49
was little. before I was born. Whoo. Ty was a lot more crowded and more impressive.

Haney 18:54
It was like leather shoe guns all over the floor.

Chris 18:56
You see what it looks like now? Right? Just a tourist trap. After the war, we got peace, but we lost something. Now look at Wu Tae. Listen up. I don’t care about the history of Wu Tae or your feelings. You’ve got our materia and I want it back. Now. I know that switch. The lever on the left material is in there.

Haney 19:20
No, this is absolutely a trap. I’m calling this right now. This is absolutely a trap.

Chris 19:26
It doesn’t sound like up.

Haney 19:28
Pull the lever Cronk. Wrong lever. What the hell is this? Dammit.

Unknown Speaker 19:34
You want your materia then go find it yourself. Yeah, that’s right. And when you’re looking for the material, remember you got to steal it.

Haney 19:40
Why is E Ll Steel’s spelled wrong? Oh, steel steel. Get it? Right. See. I went to the weapon shop because I was like that makes sense. Like you know steel like STL like yeah, let’s te l STL. I’m thinking I’m saying two E’s and you’re not hearing it. No, you’re

Chris 19:59
definitely

Haney 20:01
STL I’m saying two E’s STL file so I go to the item shop and Nope, not here. No walk around for way too long. And Chris finally gives up and he’s like, yeah, it’s that the gong just got to look for the gong, which I got mad at let me I want to see if gongs are there brass? I mean maybe there’s sometimes steel I guess but like I assumed they were always brass because they’re a musical instrument from the brass family.

Chris 20:32
Just as flat circular metal disc. Hmm, that’s fine.

Haney 20:36
I’m sure this is fine. Right now she’s up north that that steel Oh steel is probably pretty fucking all about you. frees you up from material. Yeah. Chris I’m starting to get a little frustrated.

Chris 20:51
Yeah, maybe you should try doing better.

Haney 20:55
What do you want? And now fuck him. Okay. puppet has gone steel. Does the hint actually make any sense? Yeah, you don’t sound super convicted on it though. I

Chris 21:09
mean, it makes sense. It’s not my favorite hint.

Haney 21:11
See? I thought it’d be the weapon shop because steel

Chris 21:13
it makes more sense than what the hint is. Oh, I’ll just tell you what you’re looking for.

Haney 21:18
What am I looking for? A Gong. Oh, someone over there. gongs are brass like don’t look at me. That’s like a fucking look at the literal thing like gongs are always brass. I’m fairly certain. We make our way over to the furthest like northwest corner of blue tie and bring the gong. It opens up a secret door underneath the like pagoda that it’s on and we go in. We go in just in time to see some ninja fella grabbing up. And there’s someone else there. I just realized we never we never know what happened. What happened the ninja no idea what happened to him. I was actually just gonna bring that up as well. Yeah, I have no idea what happened that poor fella. But there’s also another familiar face that Chris Yeah, yeah. Don Cornejo and the dawn is not very happy to see us

Chris 22:09
the dawn’s just not into men. Oh, as they say, Oh, well,

Haney 22:15
the other thing that the dawn tells us is that Oh boy. Oh boy. He has to chickies to choose from tonight. And the camera pans up a little bit and we see. Unfortunately, Elena tied up as well.

Unknown Speaker 22:30
Like go I said like go Who’s that? Hey, who do you think I am? What are you doing?

Unknown Speaker 22:35
jerk?

Chris 22:36
Who’s that fucking ninja man. Oh, no, you didn’t see this coming. Is that is? Is that? Talk to me, daddy.

Haney 22:50
Oh my god. I gotta fucking pull that voice out of the memories. I gotta tinkle real fast before I get involved in this. Did not expect that coming at all. Holy boy. Oh, boy, cornea. I think you mean horn a Oh. Oh, I’ve got a new chicky too to full one. In fact,

Chris 23:23
to

Haney 23:24
let go of me, you’re gonna regret this. Are we really saving Elena from fucking dog? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I love that. It has the dogs music.

Chris 23:37
When did you think you’d hear that again?

Haney 23:38
I mean, it’s been so long. I just assumed he was gone forever.

Chris 23:42
I knew you were very concerned about this loose end.

Haney 23:46
While we’re yelling and screaming and there’s this whole kerfuffle going on the shin regards also burst in as we’re trying to catch up with the ninja who has Elena and eufy. Don cornea is kind of in between us in the shin regards. The Shin regards run at dawn coronae. Oh, trying to capture him. He sidesteps them and we get into a fight with them. bonkers. Yes, this whole thing. So we kick the show in regards to ask because this should have been done 30 years ago. And obviously when the screen comes back down cornea is nowhere to be found.

Chris 24:18
There is it’s Don’t let them get away. Hey,

Haney 24:22
are we working with Shinra to looks like that’s goddamnit

Chris 24:30
This isn’t what I wanted. Well, this just seems dumb

Haney 24:33
on their part. We come out and Don cranio his assistant and Ninja assistant and UPN l&r nowhere to be seen, we talk to someone and he’s like two girls just came through here but one of them looked like up but she was all messed up and tied up with rope. That’s weird. Fucking white.

Chris 24:56
This is a bad time to help

Haney 24:58
like what is wrong with you? terrible place we walk over to dash out and start climbing. Well, well right as we’re about to leave though route and Reno are like, hey, they gotta learn how to and we’re like yeah, we know we were there we thought, hey, hey hey huh

Chris 25:15
carnales good at escaping. Let’s go rude we’ll give them a taste of what the jerks can do if he has a letter that’s gonna make things a little difficult. Okay, coordinated took up from us. And without up there’s no way we’ll get our material back. Don’t misunderstand. We have no intention of joining you we’re only agreeing not to fight each other for now. That’s fine we have no intention of cooperating with you either know which direction did

Haney 25:45
I like that they’re like we’re gonna work together and then immediately start working together.

Chris 25:48
That’s the attitude. Here’s a clue it’s the most obvious place. Thanks

Haney 25:53
real mystery of a time here, huh? So we all charged up dodge Chow. Look around the branching paths find greeno find rude. We’re all lost. It’s fine. Finally though, we corner Don coronae Oh, Don corner. Oh, if you Will. You are what happens on Chris.

Chris 26:15
So this mountain is pretty cool in the way that it’s there’s statues that are carved into it. Yeah. So we find Don Cornejo on the outstretched hand of one such statues. And directly behind this hand is up and Alaina.

Haney 26:29
Kind of T posts suspended in a very upsetting way. Let me go, huh? Delicious, scrumptious. I think I’ve just found a new hobby. What shall it be? Huh? Hey, I’m a Turk. You can’t get away with this. Oh, God,

Unknown Speaker 26:48
if I knew this was gonna happen. I would have taken those rope lessons more seriously.

Haney 26:54
I’ve made my choice. My companion for the now Will be the cheerful one.

Unknown Speaker 26:59
grossness. Don’t mess with me. Oh, man. You don’t even have any metiria

Haney 27:04
correct me if I’m wrong up is definitely 16 Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, bras. Yeah. Oh, when she is sophea, too.

Chris 27:12
We We We Are you surprised that Don cornea is not less problematic than he was earlier?

Haney 27:19
You know, I don’t know why I would be. Yee Ha. what’s what’s going on? Who’s there? We’re gonna kick your ass. Yo, man cloud UI a long time. No, see?

Chris 27:30
Don’t tell me you forgot.

Haney 27:32
You damn Midgar hyena Be quiet. None of you know how much I’ve suffered since then. I like his passive like, hands behind his back staring off into this. It’s a long story, but Oh, my God. I don’t really care. Same cloud.

Chris 27:55
Let you feed a Lego.

Haney 27:57
You guys are serious. Good. Good. This time? I’m not fooling around either. Why did you kill my little apps? your apps?

Chris 28:06
I sure do.

Haney 28:08
Absolutely. Zero monster friend. I’m gonna make you play with my new pet so you won’t interfere in my search for a bride. Dawn cornea starts yelling at us about how we kill his favorite pet apps. And then he’s like, I

Chris 28:23
do feel bad about apps.

Haney 28:24
I do. I do. But it’s okay, because we got to face his second pet wraps. wraps on the other hand, don’t feel bad about spank that puppy put him to sleep. I think it took four hits. Yeah, I was I’m way overpowered for this area right now. After we absolutely murder him. The Dawn is like, Well, why do you think I’d tell you to wait, is it because I’m like,

Chris 28:47
sure to win or to win given up on life

Haney 28:49
or I don’t understand what’s happening or like I’m confused. And we’re like, because you’re sure to when he’s like That’s right. And he presses a button. And Elena and eufy flip upside down. He’s like one more press of this button and they’ll fall to their death like squash tomatoes, I think is what he said. bonkers like, like, as he’s threatening this though. We get some assistance from rude and Rino rude throw something at him and like knocks the controller or something. Yeah. And then he like kind of falls and he’s like holding on to the cliff and then Reno walks over and is like stepping on his finger.

Chris 29:24
Let’s get to work.

Haney 29:25
Oh, he’s stepping on his finger. So

Chris 29:26
let’s ship. Alright, cornea. This Will be over quick. So listen up. Why do you think we went to all the trouble of teaming up with those guys to get you? One because we’re ready to die, too, because we’re sure to win. Three, because we’re clueless.

Haney 29:42
Number two to number two. All wrong. No, wait, stop. by Don.

Chris 29:55
Good riddance.

Haney 29:56
I really hope he’s done this.

Chris 29:58
The correct answer was Because it’s our job.

Haney 30:02
Ah, thank you very much. I never thought you’d come. I Will not. I Will not come.

Chris 30:11
Elena do an extra week.

Haney 30:14
You’re a Turk. Yes, sir. Never thought you’d ever help us.

Chris 30:20
Yes, this is where you know. Yeah, yes. We’ll get right on it. Was that the company? They want us to find cloud scratches head

Haney 30:31
are we on?

Chris 30:33
Yeah, today’s our day off.

Haney 30:35
Reno is a very cool character who I want more of Yeah, he’s very cool. Eventually the Don falls hopefully to his death. Like a squash tomato. As they say. I would love to just see him be hunts tomato paste just smeared across the bottom of a canyon. So we have dispatched the dawn. We get you feedback. Elena goes back with the Turks and we separate on our merry way. We did get the material back from up Yeah. Which was cool. Except she put it back in the wrong order. So is all messed up.

Chris 31:09
We should hang out with you anymore. Hmm,

Haney 31:11
maybe this didn’t sell her for me. I can tell you that. No, definitely not. Just up re slotting. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 31:21
perfect. Now the material is back in its rightful place.

Chris 31:24
Hey, your order is all messed up. Damn it. Oh, it’ll be all right.

Unknown Speaker 31:29
Don’t be so pick. Anyways, not sure what’s close. No, normally I would kick their butts. Boom, bang.

Chris 31:36
I love you. Why are you you is so fun. That Karnail guys real pain.

Unknown Speaker 31:43
I’d rather deal with my dad than with that guy. You know, some of those Turk guys are pretty good. Walking out of the room. At least after that. We got the material back. Now come on, everybody. Let’s continue our journey. All right here. I’ll give this to you guys. Here. Look, look. Come on. Wait. No matter what you think I’m going with you? Next time.

Chris 32:09
Next time. Next time on whoo tie.

Haney 32:14
The fuck happened to me. So here we are. It’s my material fucked up shit. God damn.

I thought I was done with blue tie at this point. But Chris is like, Oh, hey, remember that tower that you need to climb? Like, you can only climb if you’re a member of blue tie. And I was like, Yeah, he’s like, let’s go check it out. I was like, Okay, I guess sign.

Chris 32:41
Well, that was that. What a treat.

Haney 32:44
That was not at all what I was expecting. I was expecting us to have to use the material and like save blue tie from something not done cornea. Don’t like dumb cornea. I don’t think he’s a good guy, Chris.

Chris 33:00
Oh, wait a minute. We’re actually not done with the blue tie. Now now. Oh, shoe free. Will you be climbing the pagoda today? No, no sacred Gorky Will be your opponent on this first floor.

Haney 33:13
Oh, now,

Chris 33:14
I bet you didn’t expect a tournament arc.

Haney 33:17
This is a weird like Pokemon ask tower where you have to be someone on every level as you climb the tower and like no one’s ever beat the person at the top. So we got to beat the person at the top. person number one is uh, our old friend Gorky. Gorky is just some old guy. I guess that’s fine. Sure. Oh, not only do we have to find it, but you can only play as up and up as the character I have put the least amount of time and effort into.

Chris 33:42
Luckily, she’s stacked with materia Yeah, bursting at the seams.

Haney 33:46
We’re super lucky to have that that this was the hardest fight of all of them. I managed to survive this encounter, but it was just barely there was one point I was at two HP the next fight was a penguin killed in like two heads and then like they seem to get easier. I was like, Okay, do I have to ease up the entire way through? I don’t know that this is worth it. Because whatever I’m gonna get is gonna be so old and outdated like that. Who’s next? Are you blind? I’m right here. Oh, fuck. What? I gotta find a punk. Punk. more of an adult than some bimbo girl. What What do you say? Oh boy. See what I mean? That kind of English like makes you sound amateur. Don’t pat yourself on the back until you beat me back. The only thing you really do get is breathe. Are you sure you

Chris 34:33
want to fight? Shake is my favorite.

Haney 34:35
I hate shake. My name is we move up through meeting this cast of characters who are members of Wu Tae. The rule is the best fighter on each floor Will be your opponent. This is a five story Pagoda, but the fourth floor is the highest. In other words, no one has ever defeated me Master of weaponry. You still want to try? Just come on. This should be interesting. It’s been too long since I’ve had a chance to use My full power. Regino. What’s the power say? What’s the year?

Chris 35:06
Six those in? What was that first fight so fucking hard.

Haney 35:10
I have no idea. But Can I interest you in a comment to the face?

Chris 35:14
rocks from

Haney 35:15
space? Move that rock finally at the top it’s revealed that the ultimate man we’re sorry.

Chris 35:25
No that’s his title. That’s

Haney 35:26
what they call it the ultimate man. It’s revealed that the strongest person is the master of the tower who is the top member is up his father. So up in her father must have combat now. I think I use like comet to twice on him. It just died and I was like, okay, that’s fine, I guess. Yeah. This is fine. tight. Tight, tight, tight, tight. tight.

Chris 35:49
We should probably make Gorky the head of the tower.

Haney 35:51
Yeah, yeah. You’ve defeated four of our best but now you Will have to face him. Oh, pa dead. I’m glad you made it this far up. Why are you? Oh? Oh, I see you by having you try your skills against me. Hope nothing back. Come as if you’re trying to kill me. If you don’t, then I’ll have to kill you. Hey, what are you doing? Omni change?

Unknown Speaker 36:19
Whoo.

Haney 36:21
That’s fucking cool.

Chris 36:23
Can I interest you in more rocks? rocks from

Haney 36:27
space? All right, well. This is very lackluster. We get a fun little cutscene where you find her father both lying down huffing and puffing after a nice training battle. I guess they have their heart to heart.

Unknown Speaker 36:45
What about all of you with all your power? Are you satisfied being cooped up in this tower? up YouTube dad just because you lost the war, you turn blue tie into a place like this? How dare you

Haney 36:58
see, as a kid, once you say up, forgive me, losing the war tourney would tie into this it was all my fault. I am the same now as I was before when I wanted war. But after losing I began to think his strength for beating enemies or just something to show off. Might be gets might the same as Shinra. I knew you were looking for material for the good of Wu Tae. But the reason I hide my strength now is also for the good of Wu Tae. And now I realize both are necessary. Strength without determination means nothing. and determination without strength is equally useless. You there please take up with you. I perceive that you have all both determination and strength. Hmm. You may come if you want. I Will not come Will not come I Will not come.

Chris 37:56
Alright. I don’t mind go up. For the sake of Wu Tae dad.

Haney 38:02
I’ll take care of the five sacred Gods until you return and come back alive. If he’s father, like Hey, take up with you to cloud and like teacher like letters Be strong. But also I’m going to give you this dope thing that I should have given you a long time ago. So he hands over a brand new material. And it’s the Leviathan summon which I have not used yet but I’m very excited to see up and her father reaching understanding up wait a minute after their battle is over. Do you think they’ll still want all their material? Dad go fight till the end. But come back with the material. Oh, damn it. You bet go does the man after we leave Whoo. Ty we were like hey, let’s do some more fun. So Chris was like, Oh, why don’t you grab a submarine? Let’s go Let’s go have a Vinson have a time grab our submarine and kind of just start boating around on the ground if you Will.

Chris 39:04
Yeah, that’s what submarines do. Yeah. And we just underwater to choose to do so we’re going to head to fuckin not down there. Get the fuck out. We’re going to Costa del Sol

Haney 39:18
I thought you said we were going to have a good time. Did I? I wasn’t expecting you to just straight up lie to me. burnbrae Cousteau souls right there.

Chris 39:26
Alright, so ignore that. You’re looking for a river.

Haney 39:30
Can I interest you in this crashed plane? Oh,

Chris 39:33
you probably don’t want to do that yet. Almost forgot about it though. Good find. The music’s nice and relaxing.

Haney 39:42
The terrifying piano notes that make me well,

Chris 39:44
data is coming when you’re under the continent. It’s relaxing. Or under the water whatever. Fuck you. It’s that kV one.

Haney 39:53
Yeah, this is looking to see if there’s anything else pulled out why I’m

Chris 39:57
fucking No, that’s fine. Just waste more of my time. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?

Haney 40:02
I mean, yes, literally. Don’t we do this to escape from the crushing reality of being us? Yeah, yes. And Chris, you’ve checked me up. There’s nothing here. Oh, hey, that’s not cool. I’ve always wanted to investigate tic tac toe. Basically, we find an underground river that lets us go into this pool. I think I’ve mentioned it in episodes before I don’t know if it made the episode but there’s this pool near ish to Costa del Sol that I’ve always been interested in but I can figure out how to get to know the sub i can pop up in the pool and there’s a waterfall and behind that waterfall is a cave very hard to find if you don’t know where to look Vincent’s stuff is all still to me like well, it’s bonkers that this is a side quest that you can miss. Yeah. And that Vincent is a character you can miss to like so bonkers. Yeah, we go to the behind the waterfall though with Vincent Intel. And we find a name we’ve heard before, but have never seen a face for I don’t think sitting inside the cave behind the waterfall. Lucrezia. So as we walk in vincents like the crash Yeah, like crashes like Benson and Russia, because you’re exactly what happened. And we booked it out. Yeah, we just like oh, that’s weird.

Chris 41:20
Where we save the episode.

Haney 41:22
We get some flashbacks. Those are always fun. And of course, it’s fucking nibble. Haim? It’s always niflheim so we see Turk Vinson, which was probably my favorite thing to get to see Turk Vincent as kind of her personal bodyguard and him like walking around town with her and chatting with her. And like, he’s clearly like falling in love with her. He tries to like kiss or hold her hand at one point during the flashback and she like kind of shoves him away. It’s like, like, I don’t I don’t want that. The next thing you see her making out with someone in a lab coat. I think it’s Professor gasps but I’m not 100% sure still, but several smaller presumably. Vincent that voice? It can’t be. Oh shit. The crash. Yeah. Vincent. Crash Yeah, stay back. Why is it always nibble Haim? Is that Vince as a Turk? Who’s that handsome?

Unknown Speaker 42:12
Oh, what

Haney 42:12
a guy. Oh, he was her personal bodyguard. Oh, no. Oh, she ran away she in love him.

Unknown Speaker 42:19
Oh,

Haney 42:21
she was banging some other guy. Is that gassed after we see that we see Vincent kind of confront that person in the lab underneath Shinra mansion. I’m against it. Why experiment on humans? She know both scientists after that a child was born to the crash Yeah. that child’s name was separate off. Are you argue argue argue? Did he just shoot Benson? An experiment on him while he’s dead? Oh, gross. Is that gasp though. I can’t tell

Chris 42:59
you who that is.

Haney 43:04
This body is the punishment that’s been given to me. I was unable to stop Professor Gaston Hojo. And the crash. All that I was able to do was watch. That is my punishment.

Chris 43:17
Presumably, that’s the person who leaves in the basement and leaves the note for I’ve locked him in the basement. But this is merely a game I thought of. Oh, yeah, that’s a good point.

Haney 43:27
Yeah, I didn’t make that connection.

Chris 43:28
Somebody put them in the basement.

Haney 43:30
In the basement? Somebody does. Um, yeah. After the cutscenes kinda end Vincent’s like Lucas. Yeah, I thought you were dead. And the cache is like, Yeah, I thought I was dead too. But I have to know the cells. I mean, one let me die. So figured I just hide myself down here forever. I don’t really understand why she’s hiding there. Oh, don’t worry about like how she has like, Did my baby boy died five years ago, cloud kind of starts diving for it. And that’s it’s like, hold on, babe. I got this. And is like, Yeah, he died. Yeah, yeah, he did. Kind of just boots you out of the cavern at that point. And then like, I went to go back in and this is empty. At that point. I was like, Oh, this is fucking now. Right? We’ll do more with this later. So got some good, good, but I feel like it was mostly stuff I knew, except for like that she had Genova cells in her but also like, Why is she gone? Like she should still be in that cavern. So like little confused as to that, but we’ll figure it out. I think at that point, we decided to save the game and call it quits. Chris, how are you feeling about today? side quest. Okay. I mean, it’s fine. Yeah, that’s where I’m at.

Chris 44:38
let’s delve in a little bit, though, because I got some questions,

Haney 44:41
answers.

Chris 44:42
So there are two instances that we’ve heard about this war. Yes. instance a is when Eric’s mom is talking about picking up aerith because her husband went to the front line for instance to is in Wu Tae when they’re talking about the war that seem to have crippled Wu Tae? Yep. As a nation nation, I

Haney 45:03
guess town not really sure.

Chris 45:05
Yeah. So who do you think this war is between?

Haney 45:07
Is it between Wu Tang and Shinra?

Chris 45:09
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So that was a thing. Hey,

Haney 45:13
so uh, not not found the Elvira. Oh, Myra, Elvira. Ma hard song fire. Elmira ye the up. Okay. But so Elmira his husband was killed by the Wu Tae then presumably,

Chris 45:31
presumably somewhere in the

Haney 45:33
UK as I assume he was probably a Shinra soldier considering he lived in mid Gar. So yeah, that’s a good point that I did not put together because I assumed this was all one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and material for all.

Chris 45:45
So yeah, that puts whew, tie a little more in perspective.

Haney 45:49
Yeah, definitely.

Chris 45:51
And also up. Yeah,

Haney 45:53
I get it. Like, it’s cool that they had developed enough that it was like, yeah, this is the thing that’s happening in the background, but it’s not important to the core of the story. So that’s actually pretty cool that it’s like fully fleshed out, but it’s like, only if you nibble at it. Yeah. Also didn’t aerith assume that Zack died in the war.

Chris 46:08
Did she assume he died? Some I don’t remember.

Haney 46:10
He seemed he died. But I don’t remember if it was in the war. And I feel like it was

Chris 46:15
I think she just knew that he

Haney 46:17
had perished. Yeah. Which is interesting, because his parents don’t know that he’s dead. Yeah, we should go back there and tell him Yeah, we

Chris 46:23
should say his cloud. Yeah, I was your son for a little bit. Oh, wait,

Haney 46:27
where are they in the place that was now they weren’t gonna. Oh, they’re in Ganga? That’s right. Yeah. So I guess that’s the follow up.

Chris 46:35
Thought for you. Follow me is,

Haney 46:38
when’s the next time dunk right now coming back?

Chris 46:40
I don’t even want to talk about dhankhar. Now I’m dying over over that I

Haney 46:44
was over that when when we left him when we left a wall market.

Chris 46:47
Why did we the only thing I regret is that we didn’t smash his balls.

Haney 46:52
Yeah, same? Well, as balls are probably smashed at the bottom of that Canyon now, along with every other bit of him.

Chris 46:59
So what do you think that Lucrezia and Professor lover were up to that Vincent was trying to prevent?

Haney 47:08
So they say specifically human experimentation? So my guess would be that he wanted them not to inject Genova cells into people or not to treat people with Maiko, either. So like either the Shinra program or the Sephiroth program, sorry, the soldier program or the Safra op program is that broad program I call the the Genova treatment. I would assume either of those, because those both fall pretty heavily under human experimentation. He also specifically mentioned that he Vincent did that he can stop Professor Hojo Professor gas and Lucrezia from committing sins. Yeah, basically. Yeah. So presumably either Hojo or gassed is sefirat father from that statement, right? Which means that if it’s gassed, Sephiroth and aerith, or half brother and sister Yeah, gross. Not ideal for me. No, no, no. If Steph Ross father is Hojo gross. Not for any specific reason, but just because Whoa, Joe. Yeah,

Chris 48:09
cuz Oh, Joe. It’s been a little while since we’ve heard from our good old friend. I’m sure he’s up to I’m sure.

Haney 48:16
We’ll see him uncomfortably soon. What else you got for me?

Chris 48:21
What do you got? What do you want to talk about?

Haney 48:23
I think the most so you’re gonna hate this. But the most interesting is the three minutes we spent at the end getting Vincent Lee crashy stuff. Yeah. But I think the most thing I’m most interested in is the genealogy of sefirat. Still, how this whole like parentage thing works. Genova is not his mother, because Lucretia is his mother. And that’s confirmed for sure now. Yep. Via Lucretia. Yep. So I think that’s pretty cool. I’m also really curious about like, Hojo and ghasts. Age, then like Vincent’s age, and the crushes age as well, because like, they all seem very young. But obviously, Sephora 22 I think something like that. 19

Chris 49:03
so Sephora authors. I think he’s 28. No, 28 I think Sephora is 28 clouds. 21 I believe. So we know, Sephora. Its age at this point in the game. Yep. And we have seen Hojo and also flashback with Hojo as a young man,

Haney 49:19
that’s true. Yeah.

Chris 49:20
So I think that’s what you would have to infer from gotcha.

Haney 49:23
It’s probably more due to limitations and graphics than anything else. But yeah, it just it seems weird. Not weird. It’s, it’s interesting, but it also makes it harder to determine who’s who. Yeah. In terms of like the parentage and that’s probably more intentional than anything else. But I guess my question for you is, and I feel like this is a yes now that you can probably answer without giving anything away. Do we definitively find out in Final Fantasy seven original who Safir author’s father is? Yes. Perfect. Have I missed that?

Chris 49:55
No,

Haney 49:56
perfect. It Zack.

Chris 49:58
So here’s my riddle and poopy for you.

Haney 50:00
All right, give me that rolls and poops. So

Chris 50:04
Sephiroth is a human definitively who has gone through the soldier program. Zach and cloud are humans who have gone through the soldier program cloud in a little bit of a roundabout way because he didn’t originally make the soldier program.

Unknown Speaker 50:21
here yeah

Chris 50:22
is okay. But what is it that separating Zach and Sephiroth Genova fells.

Haney 50:27
It’s Mike, my

Chris 50:29
cloud says that soldiers are treated with Genova cells as well. Oh, yeah. After you recover him from the live stream.

Haney 50:35
Hmm.

Chris 50:37
So why Sephiroth so special?

Haney 50:41
Maybe it’s when he was treated, like treated as a baby versus treated as a grown up

Chris 50:47
and we know that Lucrezia has Genova cells. Oh, so what do you think Vincent was trying to stop

Haney 50:57
them from putting any them from fucking them from making baby with Genova cells in if you Will? Oh, I don’t like that, Chris. I don’t like that at all. Hmm.

Chris 51:12
So there’s a riddle for you. Oops.

Haney 51:14
I don’t like that. Yeah. Oh, want this for my poops? You’ve ruined my boobs. How dare

Chris 51:23
my pups were on special now. They’re only poop.

Haney 51:27
Yeah, I’m excited to dive more into that whole side of things. That whole mess that whole mess. Yeah, the whole. Yeah, so that’s my my main curiosity right now is who’s the father? Maury? Where dad are for us father. Yeah, that’s what I got going on. Yeah. Cool.

Chris 51:51
If only his papaw had said I Will not come in here in this mess.

Haney 51:58
Awful What a treat. Awful, Christopher.

Chris 52:00
So yeah, that’s what I got. Hey,

Haney 52:03
I got to I’m not too upset about it.

Chris 52:05
Well, join us next time as we continue the plot of this game,

Haney 52:12
I think but that thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue. Why don’t you hit us up on Twitter at one st encounter pod. You can email us at mail at first encounter podcast calm or you can check out our website first encounter podcast calm. Our intro and outro music is written and performed by Elton Zack.

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