Chris dominates the swamp temple and rescues a Deku princess without needing that stupid map.

❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.

View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript
Haney 0:05
Hey listener first encounter is an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Hey, listeners, welcome back this week, we’re still trying to remember what we did last time after we lost earlier audio for the Woodfall temple. So please enjoy another rousing round of Chris and Hanny trying to remember what we did. But before we do that, we’re going to have to give a huge shout out to our new patrons. Thank you so much, Joan. And Susan. I also want to give a huge shout out to our ex potion members, Joan Ben. Ben is actually the host of an amazing podcast the Dragoon effect, which is another one of our LLP friends, so definitely check out Dragoon effects and shout out to Ben. Also shout out to Joshua Cody and Mary thank you so much. We also have to give a huge shout out to our producers Denise Dr. J. And Agus thank you all so much for helping the show continue to grow think with that let’s let’s get into this chaos and just see what we can even begin to remember.

Chris 1:20
My way into temple

Haney 1:22
and sprites is the next note. Yeah,

Chris 1:26
if I remember correctly, when you come into this temple, it’s pretty pitch black and there’s like platforms you have to hop across. And if you fall down, that’s where the sprites are.

Haney 1:37
Isn’t this the deco scrub mark? I wonder if they worshiped here?

Chris 1:41
Thanks, Donald.

Haney 1:42
I think that’s my channel voice I don’t remember

Chris 1:46
I would like to go down

Haney 1:47
and probably have to sing a song of your people for what singer song to go down. What are you talking you’re worshipping on?

Chris 1:54
Oh yeah, I’m no no, I went on the flower what? Oh, no. Like some white going down. Okay. Is going down.

Haney 2:10
What was that? Oh.

Chris 2:13
Is this okay?

Haney 2:15
sprites from Spirited Away? Was that was that worth that? No. Now you have to go the entire way back their asses. You insisted that I’m not worth it. Oh god. Oh, yes. Oh, no. I hate Oh, God. You know, that’s not your only weapon you can spin to attack to why? You might be the only person in history to not keep your aquamarina equipped in the authoring of time series. fuck am I going down? You have to worship why? Why are you worshiping remember the monkey taught you the song? The monkey taught me this Yeah, the Sonata of awakening

you’re just here just play songs.

Chris 3:05
Left up left a right a I’ve heard better. This is a nightmare. Play the song of awakening. Oh god. Is this a water sample? No, this can’t be a Water Temple.

Haney 3:23
Here’s the secret Chris. They’re all water samples.

Chris 3:26
Well, I guess we’re guess we’re done. I think the next room after these moving platforms of the dayco Palace. Is this the one with the block you push in the torches? You have to light Yes. Okay, so two things happening here. One, there’s torches that you have to light using your dequeue corpse that you got carried around

Haney 3:47
Daegu stick for those listening at home. Sure.

Chris 3:50
So you’ll like the corpse on fire. And then you have to run to the next torch to light that to open the door. The fun thing about this is there’s moths that are hanging around the flame. And when you run around with the corpse that’s on fire, they’ll follow you they’ll follow you and distract you and start beating the shit out of you

Haney 4:06
which is crazy because that’s never happened Zelda game to me either. And I didn’t remember it. I

Chris 4:11
did not believe me. You said I was hitting myself with the burning stick.

Haney 4:16
I mean Lesnar it’s Chris would you put it past I do

Chris 4:19
it all the time? Yeah, but he’s literally doing it right and doing it right now.

Haney 4:24
Put the stick down Chris now how are you gonna bring the fire

Chris 4:29
with my hands? She says grab a handful of that good good.

Haney 4:34
Take a stick I got the mouth swallow you

Chris 4:40
know you don’t care for him too much but

Haney 4:42
I don’t care for any bugs too much but I tried to leave them alone to do their own thing without you having to

Chris 4:47
worry about how they hurt me.

Haney 4:49
What just hurt you the months was the monster Did you hit yourself with the fiery stick? I think you hit yourself with the fire stick. I know you could do that. Please course you can. God, it’s your favorite.

Chris 5:01
I like dragonflies.

Haney 5:03
Magpies are cool. My mom’s favorite a favorite bug?

Chris 5:06
I guess. They’re pretty good books. Just kind of do their own thing. Don’t bother you.

Haney 5:11
They bang in play if I remember my science correctly.

Chris 5:15
I do remember learning in science class that they bang midflight Yeah,

Haney 5:18
that was a highlight. Would you say? Good good.

Chris 5:22
Good episode of Science class.

Haney 5:24
Good episode. Good God.

Chris 5:26
Get in there. Link.

Haney 5:28
Nice. Oh, yeah, that’s

Chris 5:30
what I’m talking about hearts. Now we’re cooking with our ice. What?

Haney 5:35
Ask body spray? What you there’s a fire right there. You didn’t need to do

Chris 5:41
it is the

Haney 5:42
fucking cool. You should not

Chris 5:45
it’s the mods, is it? Yeah.

Haney 5:47
I don’t believe you.

Chris 5:49
I’ll show you my daily take a quarter hearts. I’ll just show you. No, no. You need to listen. You need to Hey, listen. Watch. Cool see? That was a weird thing. Yeah, it was weird. It was fun. The second thing that happened in here was there’s in these temples there’s fairies that you can find they haven’t done anything for me I kind of just pick them up as I go stuff in my pocket. That’s fine god awful eat their brethren

Haney 6:19
a joke I started and it caused snort to rock it into my throat help

Chris 6:26
this this is a nightmare yeah you’re gonna have a bad time I changed my mind you can actually edit this one go for it that’s all you that’s

Haney 6:38
nice Cadbury in a bottle your new Ben will give you life energy the moment you completely run out. Senate to see to keep it by your side.

Chris 6:47
I like that they pretend it’s your friend when you’ve clearly imprisoned it

Haney 6:51
that’s fine. That’s how we do things nice Five

Chris 6:54
Fairies my dude filthy

Haney 6:58
Fireese and you got another actual life fairy too. Did you see both of them when you Yeah, night eat that one at some point. It doesn’t go in the bottle. It already healed you.

Chris 7:09
Don’t care for that. So the fun thing about this particular ferry that I come across though is it’s under the water which is also poisonous

Haney 7:18
water. Yeah, the second poison water death.

Chris 7:21
Yeah, there’s this ferry that’s underwater. I try and recover it because I’m a fucking hero. I do get it. But I also around. I mean, again,

Haney 7:32
it’s not that you drown it’s that you jump. Fucking sucker first into poison water and just slurp up a whole bunch of toxins.

Chris 7:43
Oh, what? This isn’t where I came in. No, you lied to me.

Haney 7:46
I never told you it was oh, you said a fairy down there. Looks like it doesn’t bubble imprisoned. You’re just like gonna just drown myself say this fairy. That’s fine. You can’t die? No, no, you gotta you gotta You got it. And she raised her help. Get me out of here. To get it. Oh, go go go go go go go go go go go

Chris 8:06
as fast as I knew it would hurt me. I didn’t realize how fast it went.

Haney 8:10
I don’t know that you can.

Chris 8:12
I don’t know. There’s the stairs. Oh, that’s fun. I assumed I would be immediately able to just glide back out

Haney 8:25
if you assumed wrong motherfucker.

Chris 8:29
Sorry, died.

Haney 8:30
He died.

Chris 8:31
That’s that’s okay. That’s fine. I came back stronger.

Haney 8:36
Which leads us to my next bullet point in fact, God map map Well,

Chris 8:42
where’s the map?

Haney 8:43
The map was in one of the side rooms that you had to unlock Yeah, I think with the the Deku corpse on fire. I believe you lit a bizarre bizarre how do you say that word? No, it’s not that you’re combining we’re busier. brassiere brassier busier is a bra Yeah, yeah, but like brassiere torch you have to light a torch.

Chris 9:06
Are you sure? Yeah. So let the Bron fire

Haney 9:11
oh you got the dungeon map

Chris 9:13
press start to open the sub screens and views the map screen areas on the map that appear in blue are places you have visited your current location is the flashing area use the joystick to view another floor can’t wait to never use this. What Okay, so down there is where it came back out. I see. You have a map on the map.

Haney 9:34
You know how to use the map right now on the map. You just been real opposed to it to date so wasn’t sure

Chris 9:40
I don’t think I need it. So I got a map that’s cool. I took it and right my

Haney 9:49
trash

Chris 9:50
instead the trash on fire. took a shit in the burning trash can because I don’t fucking read maps who does?

Haney 9:58
Fucking stupid To me, yeah.

Chris 10:01
So what a waste of a room didn’t need that.

Haney 10:04
Heroes bow is the next thing. So you got the heroes bow. You have a Dinah folk, I think is what they’re called dyno folk. It might be a dyno close but it’s basically a dinosaur humanoid that you fight it’s like a mini mini boss is not that bad but upon beating him you receive the heroes whoa

Chris 10:27
whoa did you see that? I did ha fucking actions tear a link nice that these pieces of shit monzonite Here Fuck you dude,

Haney 10:38
you ever just been a shit?

Chris 10:41
You see that? They did? This is why they call me heroes X is it? Whoa wow looks like a nightmare. Ah

Haney 10:51
What do you think? Yeah to do with this channel you can show me the deets. What? Don’t you know the Dinah falls use targeting methods while defending and watch out for its fiery breath. How do you want to shield?

Chris 11:05
How do you how do you shield us

Haney 11:07
use the shield? Oh, yeah, the show doesn’t catch on fire. Oh, yeah, no, no, definitely not. Anything this is

Chris 11:18
something good. Ooh, that is good. It’s

Haney 11:21
good. Got a little heroes bow action.

Chris 11:24
Proceed to draw a person hold seat aim really see to shoot.

Haney 11:29
So you now have a bow and arrow for the remainder of game which is good because it’s very vital.

Chris 11:35
But is bad because I can’t aim with it. Yeah, that’s fine. That’s That’s your problem. Yeah, we’ll get there.

Haney 11:41
So immediately after you get the heroes bow. The next area is a mini boss. And this is one of those dyno folk lizard guys. I call them the gecko in my riding. Gecko writing Tortall is what it says. So it’s a gecko that rides a turtle. So you have to transform into a Daikoku burrow yourself into a flower you pop out of the flower and that pop knocks the dyno off of the turtle. Then I believe you have to transform quickly into a human to use the bow right? Yeah. transformed back into a Daegu.

Chris 12:14
What are you

Haney 12:18
frog most? Why don’t you discover what the frog Bo says Leave me alone. Yes, he’s just trying to be friends.

Chris 12:25
Oh god. What

Haney 12:27
is that? Well, Untitled tell you. That’s a gecko and it’s pretty angry. It’s pretty weak too. It really shouldn’t be making a fool of you.

Chris 12:33
That’s that’s not a gecko.

Haney 12:35
It’s obviously a gecko.

Chris 12:36
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, give me a sec.

Haney 12:41
Is there a problem here Christopher?

Chris 12:43
Probably not sure.

Haney 12:44
Yeah. Why don’t you just beating him like you’re supposed to be? Pretty sure you have to hit him on his on this guy.

Chris 12:51
But he’s, I can’t Hmm. But I can’t

Haney 12:55
listen to it’s it’s not the game’s fault. You’re not gonna

Chris 12:58
Well, I’m not gonna blame myself. I would they go go Now we’re cooking with gas.

Haney 13:07
Yeah, now you just got to repeat that 37 times. I got Chris tattle said that he’s really weak and shouldn’t be making a fool of it. Could you could you expound on that? Please? Tell us

Chris 13:19
hell doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Haney 13:21
Yes. And Oh, nice. Nailed it. No problem. GG. Easy.

Chris 13:28
Time for some frog legs.

Haney 13:29
Oh, fun. Now look. Great time. I’m.

Chris 13:33
I demand some answers.

Haney 13:35
There’s a little frog go talk to him. See what’s up. Maybe he wants you to play a song. You know?

Chris 13:41
What? I don’t have frog song.

Haney 13:43
Why don’t you have frog song? I don’t. Alright, I’ll see what happens.

Chris 13:48
I was trying to remember Listen, I need to put the frog in the mood.

Haney 13:51
When he gets that he lean he wants sexual healing.

Chris 13:56
Talk to me.

Haney 13:58
This is Froggen I hate this game. Why don’t you frog him so next is just a dolla. So I think this is a pretty easy thing to talk about because I know that this is the bad guy so you now have later in the game

Chris 14:15
just a minute back up because first I have to get into a dollar’s chamber where yeah, the way this kind of main room of the temple is set up is there’s a giant flower and yeah, oh god. Yeah. Surrounded by poison water.

Haney 14:29
Yeah,

Chris 14:30
it’s got these pedals that also have like teeth on them kind of Yeah,

Haney 14:34
we call it we call it pedal. dentata

Chris 14:38
Oh, what is? Let me out. Okay, do that. Bye. Goodbye, friend. Huh? All right, well, that makes a lot of sense. I see why they have teeth now. My platforms ate me. So at some point you lower or Raise the water or just make a platform move up and down. I honestly can’t remember. But you have to jump on this central plant that now for whatever reason is spinning. Yes. And you have to stand on the spinning plant. Yeah, while aiming a bow at a very small target. mean how many times do you think we’re going to do this?

Haney 15:23
Just once would be pleasant. Well,

Chris 15:26
boy, have I got some news for you.

Haney 15:28
Yeah. You’re way too far back, homie.

Chris 15:31
Listen. Here we go. How painful is this for

Haney 15:36
you? It’s legitimately agonizing. I’m trying so hard to keep Michael right now, but I can feel you getting less and less happy. I want to scream at you really badly. But I’m not going to because we’re friends and I love you. Hmm.

Chris 15:48
Do you think that’ll last? Ah,

Haney 15:50
depends on how long this takes. Easy vomit.

Chris 15:58
I wish this temple was more of a challenge, huh?

Haney 16:01
Well, this FF seven like for you. So next is just a Dolla

Chris 16:07
dolla,

Haney 16:08
I want to talk about something that I really enjoy about ocher enough time in Madrid mask. And I can’t comment on other games because I don’t know if they do this. But I really like how they introduce the main villain with like, kind of like this elegant, like cutscene of like, here’s the villain. Here’s what they look like. We’re going to show off the character model that we built a little bit and we’re gonna give them this cool title. So like instead of just a dolla or just monster it’s masked jungle dancer adult, I believe is the name. And it’s cool because it just gives it like a little bit of flavor. Yeah, that is, it’s very fun to me. It’s something that I really enjoy about Ocarina of Time and Majoris mask in particular because every single villain you do you come up against gets that treatment. And like, Yeah, fucking a you develop this game, show it off a little bit. It’s hard in a combat to appreciate a villain design because you’re like, Ah, I gotta stay alive. Like, yeah, give me that five seconds of like, Fuck, yeah, that’s a cool character design. Yeah, awesome. That’s a cool character design. I actually really like a dolla. Yeah,

Chris 17:10
a doll is really cool. It’s like 10 feet tall.

Haney 17:14
It’s it’s like twice as tall as Link Yeah,

Chris 17:17
does have two swords or just one sword. Believe two, two swords. It’s got a very cool animation just kind of dancing around. Yeah.

Haney 17:24
And it’s combat is kind of danspace to wear it like it’s very like light on its feet. Kind of like a boxer. Yeah, you know, like the float like a butterfly kind of vibe. Yeah, I’m still not 100% sure how you beat this.

Chris 17:37
There’s this first boss.

Haney 17:39
Can I interest you in? This fucking nightmare? Masks jungle warrior or Dola you’re ready to dance? Tell me about him. If you get close to him, you’ll be beaten. Do you understand me? Oh,

Chris 17:52
thanks tattle glad you got my back here. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to give too much of a shit about me.

Haney 17:59
No, I think you’re I think you’re perfectly fine here.

Chris 18:04
He’ll dance around and like rocks will fall from the ceiling and also other enemies will spawn

Haney 18:10
believe those mobs your fire moths is dancing. But do you think those are okay? We just told me how much you love bugs.

Chris 18:19
What is happening?

Haney 18:21
gave you some bugs.

Chris 18:24
These bugs Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah. Well fire where the fire come from him. He made fire.

Haney 18:33
Yeah. Mess jungle warrior.

Chris 18:37
It was a very strange fight because I never felt like I was doing any damage. But then at some porosity, you

Haney 18:43
did plenty of damage,

Chris 18:44
I guess because I beat him. Nail that. Yeah. So $1 goes down as it all it does. And I got his remains.

Haney 18:54
I have a question about this. Yeah, so it always remains are very visibly a mask when you receive them. Were you expecting it to be a mask

Chris 19:01
that you wore? Yes. It definitely looks like just like a straight up mask?

Haney 19:04
Yeah, definitely. I mean, like when you see it in your menu, even to this day. It’s just a mask a face. Yeah. But it’s called adults remains and you can’t put it on? No, no. Probably because it’s too big for your little body. Probably. And also it’s fucked up to a dead guy’s face. Yeah, that’s true as you wander around with Camaros mascot.

Chris 19:22
E.

Haney 19:25
Oh, what’s that? You’ve seized? Oh, the whole was remains.

Chris 19:32
That’s not what I was looking for.

Haney 19:35
You’ve just read the innocent spirit that this dark mass had kept in prison within the body of evil Dawa.

Chris 19:41
Okay. There’s a fun cutscene here.

Haney 19:45
There is. I’m gonna liken this to Atlantis the loss empire that Disney movie, because it’s the only thing that really comes to mind either that or like Castle in the Sky like Jaime Izaki there’s these giant entities that you see in this cutscene that basically li tell you that they’re like the guardians of the world or whatever and that you need to like restore order to the world and they teach you a song called the earth to order. Wait, listen, it seems to be saying something. Could that crime be its way of teaching us some sort of melody. Don’t just stand there get your instrument

to order to

Chris 20:31
order. That’s a cool name.

Haney 20:35
They talk to you about that. There’s like, there’s four corners of the realm. Basically, it’s flat. Yeah, yeah. Four corners to the square flat plane, that is the Earth. We are firm, Flat Earthers here, don’t want the flat flat Terminus vert flat Terminus here in at first encounter. And they have this kind of like, this energy that sealed, and you need to restore order by using the oath order, which is the song they teach you and gathering the remains of those four spirits, I guess, or whatever. I suppose so. Yeah. Probably the clearest marching orders you’ve gotten in this game

Chris 21:14
today. Aside from tattle. Yeah, tattle tale. Yes. Because tale is the one who told me to go to the different temples basically. Yeah,

Haney 21:23
basically, they’re just telling you the same story that tale goes over like the like swamp Earth mountain, whatever it is. I don’t remember Captain Planet. Heart. And this cutscene though, you you learn from one of these kind of Nether World spirits, Guardians of the realms, the song to restore order and basically just get your marching orders for the rest of the game. It really feels like this temple is a entry point. Yes, you the story. And I feel like you’re now actually getting into the story. Before we dive into what happens after this point, which is not as story driven. What do you think is fucking happening here? Like, what do you think is? Like, what’s the overarching like plot that’s happening here? It feels Mary asks for more analysis. Damn you, Mary.

Chris 22:10
It feels like Skull Kid. Or rather, majority’s mask through school kid because I do believe he’s like, possessed or something by it is trying to I don’t know if it’s trying to fuck up the world or whether that’s just like a side effect of what it’s doing. But it’s like shattered the great fairies. It’s seemingly imprisoned, these spirits, spirits of whatever sort and corrupted, because it feels like the temple is corrupted. Right?

Haney 22:42
I would I like that. I like that term. Yeah.

Chris 22:45
So that seems to be what’s going on. I’m not sure like, what majority’s goal is at this point, because if it was just like world destruction, it would have just brought the moon down earlier. Right. So

Haney 22:59
but yeah, maybe three days like yeah, it’s very clear. Like, it seems like he’s all powerful. Like, it doesn’t seem like it needs three days for it to fall naturally.

Chris 23:07
Right. So I don’t know what its end goal is. It’s very, very strange.

Haney 23:12
It’s almost childish. Yeah. Like, it’s, it’s a lot of this strikes me, to me at least as a temper tantrum. Right. Like it’s, it’s very, like petty. Obviously, the pettiness has wide, sweeping, catastrophic ramifications. But it all seems very much like a petulant child. And that’s not anything they ever go into. But it’s just something that’s always struck me as interesting that there’s a lot of vibe around, like, temper tantrums, and like childhood in this game. And I think a lot of that, I wonder, actually a lot, if a lot of that comes from the fact that imagery and honoring of time, you’re basically robbed of your childhood as like, like, you turned 10 And they’re like, Oh, hey, cool. Go to sleep for seven years and wake up when you’re useful.

Chris 23:57
Yeah, I mean, that’s like literally every incarnation of link right right.

Haney 24:01
And it’s like, maybe this is like that time link finally, like pushes back right? Like even if this is all happening is self in his like, subconscious or something right? Or in limbo. That’s not anything that’s ever been like explicitly stated. But it’s something that’s always just fascinated me about Madras Xmas, because it’s just so weirdly different from other Zelda games. Yeah, it’s very strange. And it’s like what is what is happening here and it to me it seems like something throwing a temper tantrum about something else, right? Like it’s just like, I’m gonna I’m just gonna fuck it up for everyone if I can’t have it the way I want it. Well, that’s

Chris 24:32
kind of the feeling I get from definitely schoolkid because he seems like he’s always been kind of an outcast,

Haney 24:38
right because we have that really awful story with talent tail and him huddled in the cold rain from back in episode two of the season,

Chris 24:48
but I don’t know what the deal with majority is. That’s kind of I feel like Majora is the overarching thing. I assume a school kid is using the power of majority majority is using school located as a host to further its own means whatever those may be and I don’t even know if like Majora has a like thoughts Yeah, like a real farmers are you like even can even like feel or think or if it’s just like Malvin energy. Yeah. It’s

Haney 25:13
hard to say. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s it’s hard to say and you know, Zelda is one of those franchises where you don’t get a ton of answers all the time. So it’ll be interesting to see what you make of as we keep going through and as he kind of hit hit each temple, I think will be very, very interesting. Yeah, for sure.

Chris 25:31
So after all this, so there’s a reason I came to this temple. Yeah. dequeue Princess dayco. Princess Boy.

Haney 25:40
How do we feel about the Daegu princess? I love her. She Great. Right. So good. dassie sassy Lassie. We love her.

Chris 25:46
So the temple kind of reverts to what I assume is its original uncorrupted state, which is a swamp. Yeah. All right.

Haney 25:56
Oh, that’s what it’s saying. Hey, I just met you. This is crazy.

Chris 26:04
Call my dad you have like cleansed the pool. Ah,

Haney 26:10
cleanse me. All right. The four people tell talked about? Do you think he was talking about the spirit that was sealed inside the mask? Oh, hey, you’re pretty good out there. Have you done this before? What? Now? Just keep up that pace and save the other three. All that stuff I did to your horse. I I apologize. Sorry. There I apologize. So don’t hold it against me got it. Now then, we’ve helped the Princess just like the monkey asked. So now our next stop is in the mountains. Let’s hurry and do something about that Skull Kid.

Chris 26:44
Actions speak louder than words tattle. I’d like my horseback.

Haney 26:48
Link. Please tweet meet you. I am the TaiKoo princess. Ah, Ah, I see forgot about her done. Yeah, I

Chris 26:55
most certainly did. Were you

Haney 26:56
by chance asked by that monkey to come save me. Uh, yeah, sure.

Chris 27:01
Sure, Princess.

Haney 27:02
Uh huh. Just as I expected. You see your body smells a little bit like monkey.

Chris 27:08
Think I’m just gonna leave her here. That’s cool.

Haney 27:11
So the monkey made it back fine. after all. That’s good. I was worried that when I didn’t come home, my father would think that monkey had kidnapped me.

Chris 27:19
I don’t want to worry about it. Well, I don’t want to worry about it. I was

Haney 27:23
worried that my father would get even so far as to punish the Poor monkey. He’s literally tied to a steak about to be burned right now.

Chris 27:29
He’s lesson I’ve taken enough time in this temple. He was probably long gone.

Haney 27:34
Yeah, like three times over? Probably. Yeah. Don’t tell me. Are you serious? His father actually doing that you had another hasty decision bother. Do you remember how you have to travel with her?

Chris 27:48
I sure do.

Haney 27:49
Could you tell our listeners,

Chris 27:51
so she’s like, Hey, I got to get back to my dad somehow. Can you carry me any way you can? Like just get me there anyway. And I’m like, Well, I have this empty bottle. I guess she

Haney 28:04
says yes. She just looks at and she goes Yes.

Chris 28:08
And I just duffer into this bottle. Put her in my pocket.

Haney 28:13
Keep in mind she has the same size as Link Yeah, DQ or human doesn’t matter. Yes, he’s a 10 year old or whatever. Yep, yeah, just stuff a person until I like half Gallon Bottle. Well, well, we haven’t any time to lose. Quickly Mr. Lynch, could you please find something to carry me in so you can take me to the daycare Palace

Chris 28:32
please? Mr. Lincoln’s my father.

Haney 28:35
Are you gonna carry her in? Just no, no.

Chris 28:47
You put the Deku princess in a bottle it’s a tight fit but she says she’ll be fine if you hurry.

Haney 28:54
Mr. Length there’s no time to lose. Hurry take me to the palace.

Chris 28:58
Princess in a bottle so yeah, princess in the pockets worth two in the bush.

Haney 29:08
i Please don’t talk about Princess of flesh on my son on my podcast something

Chris 29:12
something so yeah, that I got a princess now. Yeah, I gotta get back to the fucking dayco Palace. However, what if instead I try and get this fucking treasure chest that I’ve been ignoring. That’s just kind of outside the temple. Yeah, I only had to say that because there’s some fun gameplay that I’m just going to put here. I think it’s just you screaming at me.

Haney 29:38
That’s fair. Sarah trust over there. Yeah, there’s

Chris 29:42
thinking No, hey, there’s no time to lose.

Haney 29:46
Oh, my apologies. Did you jump off the bridge that was lowered specifically so you can have the nice item.

Chris 29:53
What where am I get let me out of here.

Haney 29:58
Really needed start having you use maps more. Now. There’s like no tie moment. You could just keep her I’m pretty sure until the end of day I’m not returning her. Okay, that’s right. You already fixed the swamp like, what more do they want from you? Right?

Chris 30:12
That’s what I’m saying. Oh, I already got the chest up. Did I see a big chest somewhere?

Haney 30:17
Yeah, look at your map. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God

Chris 30:29
that’s fine. My swamp. I do you have a swamp deed? I

Haney 30:39
can’t believe you destroyed my love of this game.

Chris 30:42
Alright, let’s get the fuck out of here.

Haney 30:44
Hey, are you done with this place? Not much of a swamp boy. Not much of a swamp.

Chris 30:50
No, I am a swamp ass definitely that.

Haney 30:53
After that nonsense. We make our way back to the dicky palace and you make a rescue upon some monkeys.

Chris 31:02
I take the princess in my bottle and I just dump her out at the feet of the king. DAVID KING overjoyed to see her. And she says Fuck you, you stupid Dad. What the shit are you doing? I

Haney 31:15
genuinely love how she takes everyone in court to task because she’s like, You’re a fucking moron. Dad. What the fuck are you doing? I told you the monkeys are fun. This is fucking stupid. Honestly, she seems like she has her shit together. Way more than her dad.

Chris 31:29
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m very excited for her to come into power. Yeah,

Haney 31:32
she absolutely needs to be the next ruler. Yes, please because her dad turns out not so good. No swamps poison. There’s fuckin giant tentacles in the water. There’s monkeys running just a muck. It’s a mess here.

Chris 31:47
There’s a lot going on. What is not handling? No

Haney 31:49
none of it. And it she’s just she just seems pragmatic.

Chris 31:53
She was clearly the only one holding this kingdom together. She’s

Haney 31:56
fucking cool. She is a really fun character that I did not expect to like as an adult because like when I was a kid, I was like, Oh, you’re annoying. You’re no fun but like as a grown up like no, she’s the only one that has any fucking intelligence here.

Chris 32:08
Why it’s really good. What

Haney 32:09
is happening? Why are these idiots just doing this? And she’s the only one who has any fucking thoughts in our brain.

Chris 32:14
Yeah, she’s really good. She’s cool princess in a bottle.

Haney 32:22
No, you can say I’d like to go in. This is the Palace of the deco kingdom. Only those on official business may enter. But you managed to see the public humiliation the foolish monkey who angered our King. All of this hall straight to the royal chamber. Do not enter any other areas whatsoever.

Chris 32:40
Unless you’re good at your job. Quite good.

Haney 32:43
They’re almost better than the human guards in Clock Town. I’d say. We’re gonna just dive right into that fire. Goodbye. Why are you waiting Mr. Link her hurry hoping this bottle and release me my father is standing right there. Like you’re like absolutely not.

Chris 32:58
I got your daughter back.

Unknown Speaker 33:01
Oh, my parents house Mark darlin prints house. You’re all right. I was so worried.

Haney 33:07
Foolish father. Whoa, beep beep beep beep beep beep oh, I

Chris 33:11
like her angry face.

Haney 33:12
Yeah. What are you doing? Let that monkey go this instant.

Chris 33:18
just killed the king.

Haney 33:19
That’s fine. She’s the queen now. Oh, Mr. Monkey. I’m truly sorry. Father does such rash things when he’s worried about me? I understand Princess forget about that. Has the temple been returned to normal? Why yes. Thanks, Mister link here. I am very truly grateful. Really? So you’re called think are you thank you for keeping your promise to me. I don’t remember the monkey voice.

Chris 33:42
I remember making a promise.

Haney 33:45
You definitely did because he taught you the song. That’s right. As a symbol of our gratitude. Our Butler has prepared a little something for you. Please accept it.

Chris 33:52
It’s your butler.

Haney 33:53
You’ll find it in the shrine that will be to your right when you leave the palace. Alright.

Chris 33:57
So speaking of monkeys noodles,

Haney 34:00
yeah. Talk to me about your noodle monkeys? Uh, no. Let’s

Chris 34:03
just say they disperse. Yeah, they’re

Haney 34:05
real real monkey real noodle.

Chris 34:06
That’s fine. They don’t give me anything they don’t think me monkey noodle calm. Go.

Haney 34:11
I genuinely curious what that is. Or Google in it? Do we? hyphenate or no hyphens? I actually don’t know. You tell me. No hyphens? I don’t think domain names can have hyphens. They might be able to but I don’t think so. So it’d be just been monkey noodle all one word.com And if not, we’re buying it today. And redirecting it to first encountered podcast.

Chris 34:32
Monkey noodle calm is available for sale.

Haney 34:35
I’m buying it when I get home and I’m redirecting it to person counter podcast, calm do it.

Chris 34:39
Yeah. So the vizier what is position Butler, Butler, Butler, title advisor, whatever.

Haney 34:47
I would call it my grandpa’s air like Jafar to the Sultan, but that’s why Yeah, he’s honestly the guy we’ve been kind of dealing with most. He was the one who initially sent us out on everything because the king was useless. So beside himself as I roll my eyes and put air quotes up with his daughter’s disappearance, that he wasn’t thinking straight, but like, we all know how monarchs work.

Chris 35:09
So the Deku Butler’s like, Hey, I got a super cool present for you just like, hit me up after you piece out of here. I’m like, Oh, sweet. That’s totally tight. I love that. I would like presence, please. And thank you. And I leave the deco Palace is nowhere to be seen. I think he told me to go to the

Haney 35:29
deacon frying around the Deku Palace.

Chris 35:31
The left is it depends which way you’re facing.

Haney 35:35
If you’re facing the palace, I think it’s to the left. Yes.

Chris 35:38
If you’re coming out of the palace, it’s to the right. Yeah,

Haney 35:42
that sounds right. That sounds legitimately perfect. Yeah,

Chris 35:45
you’re welcome listeners.

Haney 35:46
Yeah. Somewhere a listener is vomiting and trying to understand what’s happening in this episode.

Chris 35:52
So we’ve gotten this way previously, but there is an auto rock that murdered the shit out of me Octo COC. But it seems like after I’m just gonna skate by it. Yeah, that’s fair. After I concluded the Deku temple, the Aqua rocks disappeared. Yeah, they’re gone.

Haney 36:11
Don’t need them no more.

Chris 36:13
I guess that’s okay.

Haney 36:15
When you be a dolla, all of the poison left the swamp. Right. And Octo rocks can only live in poisoned water.

Chris 36:23
So have I ruined the ecosystem?

Haney 36:26
I would say no, because I would say that you restored it to what it was before three days ago

Chris 36:30
when the I know it was different before three days ago,

Haney 36:34
we presume because they say that the swamp is now poisoned as opposed to poison so

Chris 36:39
so the Aqua rocks are an invasive species. Yeah,

Haney 36:42
so you’ve reversed environmental pollution and removed an invasive species that is well and thriving in other areas. It just cannot thrive in this one because it is destroying the natural ecosystem that already exists here.

Chris 36:55
Yes. Vote first encounter not Majoris mask because they want to poison the environment. And we’re keeping it safe. Yeah. I would like some prezis. Please.

Haney 37:09
I thought you were gonna straight up just like fuck this not going. Oh, yeah. That’s fine. I don’t know. What are you prepared for you? I’m sure it’s not a nightmare, though. Oh, sure. So no,

Chris 37:18
I’d like monkey mask.

Haney 37:20
I don’t think that’s what he prepared for you.

Chris 37:23
I’d like an octopus mask, please. I’ve come for my prezzies when you talk to him Prezi me.

Haney 37:29
Hello, Linc. I am truly thankful for what you’ve done for the princess. Yeah, as a sign of our gratitude we take who have prepared something that we think may assist you. I will lead you to it.

Chris 37:40
Could I have your moustache? Could you imagine?

Haney 37:44
I’m sure he’s right in the front door just getting ready to give you presence upon presence. Yeah, no, no effort on your

Chris 37:49
part. That’s what I thought I rolled up and he’s like, Hey, I’m here for my present place.

Haney 37:53
Hands out. You’re ready to say thank you give him a big hug. Receive a white kiss on the cheek. Maybe even a key to the swamp.

Chris 37:59
Yeah, it would have been really cool. Yeah,

Haney 38:01
what have been What do you mean?

Chris 38:02
Well, he was like, why don’t you catch me? How about that? How will you fucking race me? What is wrong?

Haney 38:09
What if a game of heightened Go fuck yourself?

Chris 38:12
Yeah. Basically. I’m just gonna say I spent about an hour. I don’t think that’s a joke.

Haney 38:20
It is not because I wrote down how many attempts this took you.

Chris 38:24
Let me give a quick overview of what’s happening please. So the butler takes off and he’s like, catch me punk. Like okay, cool. Run out frozen.

Haney 38:33
Gonna be that hard. You just defeated a temple? No problem. save the princess. I’m

Chris 38:37
the Hero of Time. This is basically an obstacle course. We got the greatest hits, rolling boulders, firewalls, chasms that you have to jump across. You have to keep up with this Butler. He tries to shake you off his tail.

Haney 38:54
Please follow me. We go cool.

Chris 38:56
Oh, why can’t I be him? Why am I playing a snake link when I could be this guy? Also, this is kind of scary.

Haney 39:07
Imagine imagine if you had followed him Imagine if you had played the game are you okay?

Chris 39:14
No, I’m lost and scared. How are you lost already? Those terrible let’s try that again.

Haney 39:23
From here the pathways are dark and can be quite treacherous you know say please follow closely and do not get separated from me

Oh, no. It’s okay. No, you should probably turn into a human during this. No. Well, they

Chris 39:46
let me be here now the human No,

Haney 39:48
absolutely not. He’s probably run right in that blue flame.

Chris 39:54
Where do you go? Why I wasn’t ready for two temples. Are you okay? No. Oh god,

Haney 40:01
you got the green fire now. I wouldn’t go that way.

Chris 40:05
Oh good. This feels like Frogger you ever play Frogger No, that was good stuff. Never. We should play. That’s gonna be Season Three Frogger

Haney 40:15
Hey, this is giving me motions. Is

Chris 40:19
this a game gaming me anxiety?

Haney 40:22
How long do you think this is gonna go off?

Chris 40:24
Shit? Shit. Are you think he is? No? Mmm Hmm are you kidding me?

Haney 40:38
Maybe you should be better at the game. From here the pathways are dark and can be quite treacherous. Please follow closely and do not get separated from me. Can’t wait. So you have to do all this to get five rubies? Why don’t

Chris 40:49
you just give me my present? Cuz,

Haney 40:52
Chris, do you not care about the hero’s journey? This is what Chris does for you. Listener. I hope you fucking are happy now. Do you know how many times he did this? Chris, would you like to know how many times because I’m sure you’ve forgotten. I know. I’m really I’m gonna have to tell the listeners because you know, they want to know how many times nine times you went through this bulking mini game. It’s long. It’s long. It is hard. And is frustrating. I cannot back you up enough on this.

Chris 41:22
The thing is this I quite enjoy. Typically I really enjoy like the keep up while avoiding obstacles kind of deal. Yeah, it was the end of like a two hour recording. I knew we had to be wrapping up.

Haney 41:34
Yeah, cuz it was obviously it was the clear point where we would end the game. Otherwise, we would have had to have just saved at the temple and then done this next time. And then it’s like, okay, now there’s this weird part at the beginning of an episode. Fun fact, if you’re out there are a LLP friends. You probably understand this from trying to craft episodes. It’s really hard to figure out where to end and where to begin an episode because of storytelling. It makes no sense to do this part at the beginning of an episode. Absolutely No Sense. What feel like I feel like your heart’s not in it. My heart is

Chris 42:10
beating. Can you feel your heartbeat racing?

Haney 42:14
Can you taste the bee in her sweat? I don’t know you. Have you ever? You. I don’t know you’ve listened.

Chris 42:21
You sung it a lot. Problem. Maybe you’ll give me a bicycle. You know what I’m worried about? What’s that? I’m just here until the third day.

Haney 42:35
Yeah, I’m pretty concerned about that too. Because it is midnight of the second day.

Chris 42:40
It’s better be a good goddamn president. That’s all I’m saying. Okay, this was the fire room right? Yeah.

Haney 42:47
What do you dunk on the sides don’t go.

Chris 42:55
Near the end. Which way did you go? To the

Haney 43:00
walls? To the right to the right.

Chris 43:03
Oh, no. You kidding me? Nice. This might be my your mansion. My mansion.

Haney 43:14
Well done, link. Now here’s the item I promised

Chris 43:18
Please accept it. You could have just given this to me.

Haney 43:22
You got the mask of set. This mask heightens your sense of smell

nine times by the way. How are you? You got the mask of sense

Chris 43:36
right. Now I can smell my monkey scent.

Haney 43:41
Yeah. Well, let’s see to sharpen your olfactory perception. Sniff sniff that’s the smell of power. What did you get? What was your reward?

Chris 43:49
A pig BESC a pig man. Mask smells?

Haney 43:53
Yeah, yeah, it’s a pig face mask. You put it on and link goes. And sniffs really good pig. Yeah,

Chris 44:01
we’re learning to not cut that we’re learning. Hey, quite good at dolphins quite good a dolphins quite

Haney 44:05
good at pigs. Oh yeah. So ginormous. That’s for you.

Chris 44:11
This is what you support. What else? What other animals can honey do? We’ll see in the next episode of First Encounter. Anyway, I catch up to him. Eventually, after many in attempt, I get the mask. He tells me something very sad.

Haney 44:26
He tells you that you remind him of his son. Actually, when I see you I am reminded of my son who left home long ago. Somehow I feel as if I am once again racing with my son. I am afraid I may have tried too hard to outrun you as old as I am. I am still a fast competitor. Just like when I raised my son. Please forgive my rudeness do we learn about his son? What are your final thoughts about this episode of not Final Fantasy

Chris 44:52
now or like when we recorded I would love to know

Haney 44:57
about Majoris masks up to this point if you can if you can Remember, I know obviously it was several months ago. Yeah, we unfortunately have some sort of last bit where you did discuss this already.

Chris 45:09
It was very good. It was hilarious. It was our best episode. The worst part about this

Haney 45:13
is that the butler part was so frustrating. And then we still had to do the talk throughout some point before this. So we’ve done this and bitched about that Butler part before, I’m still as angry as I was. We were so

Chris 45:25
grumpy by the time the Butler was done. And then we had the whole talk through. Thanks for joining us for a whole

Haney 45:32
episode. That might be the final of Majoris mask, just cancel this turn everything off, turn it all off, and escape. God, why a nightmare.

Chris 45:43
I think this is when I realized, much like you that the enjoyment of this game for me is like the side quests and the outside dungeons. But even the dungeon itself was pretty cool. I definitely had moments where I was struggling in it. And I think that’s actually more in effect of the podcast format, where I feel the pressure of always needing to like progress

Haney 46:09
when you quote unquote, have to finish this part. You can’t just give up right? Like, yeah, when you’re playing a game at home, you hit a hard part. You’re like, Oh, I’m gonna, you know, turn this off for a day. Two days. Yes, eat dinner, have a snack, whatever.

Chris 46:22
Or it doesn’t matter how long you take. Yeah, right. Like, you can take your time, it can be like, I’m gonna just kind of do this and not worry too much about how much time I’m spending. But I think yeah, the temples raise my stress quite a bit. Because like, You got to get through the temple. I want to this is kind of weird. I want to finish it for the podcast, so I can go back and just play it for myself.

Haney 46:45
I mean, I think I said the exact same thing about FF seven. Like, I just want to play it for me now.

Chris 46:49
Yeah. But it’s, it’s a really special game. I mean, props to those developers. Because to put out a game like this, and this

Haney 46:58
was a pressure game. This wasn’t Yeah, fun game, whoever just had the immediate idea of direct sequel, but it’s a parallel world where we can reuse the same assets. That fucking guy deserves a fucking bonus.

Chris 47:12
Yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s incredible. It’s one of those games. Also, though. I feel like once you come away from it, you can kind of stew on it a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah, you

Haney 47:23
know, like, Oh, why the fuck didn’t I do this? Or, or like, I should do that. Or like, Oh, I gotta remember this thing.

Chris 47:28
Yeah. And kind of spoilers for where we are right now. At the time of this recording for the talk through for the talk through we have played up into the Second Temple. Yeah. Is it Goren temple? Temple, this temple, Temple Goron, Temple, snowcat, billet whatever you

Haney 47:47
want to call it, so we’re kind

Chris 47:48
of right smack dab in the middle of that and I really want to see what little teases that gives me

Haney 47:54
the assemble bosses. My favorite boss and Majoris mask. Yeah, cuz I’ve known that’s all we gonna say my favorite boss character design wise, at least otherwise Yeah, they’re they’re very Zelda bosses and that they don’t there’s not a lot of depth to them. Yeah, but the design is fucking killer.

Chris 48:09
Really quick. That’s something I enjoy about Zelda is there’s plenty of games where each boss has like a unique mechanic story or for Well no, like actual like mechanic for like beating them. Yeah, but the really nice thing that Zelda does is it says, once you figured out that mechanic, you’re not going to be just like slogging away.

Haney 48:29
You’re not spamming that mechanic. Yeah, it’s like usually are finding the opportunity to use the mechanic

Chris 48:34
usually. Yeah. And it’s usually like three hits and you defeat the boss.

Haney 48:38
Right? And it’s they’re not super long fights, but they’re there long enough that you feel real. I feel like you feel rewarded after you’re like, Yeah, I did it. But not so long. You’re like, Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. Now No, not like chasing a certain Daegu Butler down for his mask of pig or whatever. Ask have. I said what I said.

Chris 49:00
But yeah, I’m having a really good time. Really excited to get back into it.

Haney 49:04
Awesome. I think with that, thanks so much for listening. And we’ll see you next time, baby. Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue please support us at patreon.com/first encounter. Find our socials and contact info at first encounter podcast comm please stop by and say hey, our intro and outro music is by Alden. Zach do hot mic.

Chris 49:29
Mic. mic.

Haney 49:34
The mic is hot. And I am.

Chris 49:38
Oh, you’re you’re on the bottom again. Yeah, nice. Yeah, that’s the way we both like it.

Haney 49:43
Give me something hard.

Want the journey to continue? Grab some delicious coffee from our SPONSOR, Support the show on PATREON, and follow us on TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, and YOUTUBE. Our intro and outro music is by ALDEN ZAC.