Haney 0:05
Hey listener first encounter is an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Is our audio recording? Hold? Hold? Don’t Don’t Don’t you have one person at a time? All right, you get there.

Chris 0:20
Yeah, there’s also no sound at this point. So

Haney 0:24
wow, I can’t believe this is an actual nightmare. Yeah, here

Chris 0:27
we are. Hello. Speaking of actual nightmares, we got some patients to do.

Haney 0:33
I don’t know if I want to lump that into a nightmare. But who are we thinking today?

Chris 0:39
So this episode is brought to you by all our patrons, but especially our expedition to your members,

Haney 0:44
Mary. And nonstop Final Fantasy,

Chris 0:47
and Cody and Cody. Yeah, thank you so much. Holy shit. You keep the show going. You allow us to do what we do. We wouldn’t be here without you. Literally honey wouldn’t have shown up he hates he hates that. I brought him here today.

Haney 0:59
Yeah, actually though, but um, I did get cheese bread as a consolation prize. So

Chris 1:03
a lot of cheese bread. I’m

Haney 1:04
I’m eating an entire half quarter loaf. Probably quarterly probably quarter quarter loaf of cheese bread by myself right now. So it’s good bread. Thank God. Chris also bought me a birthday for later.

Unknown Speaker 1:14
Yeah.

Chris 1:17
My wife tune into our bonus stream after the show.

Haney 1:20
You know who else we need to think aside from our esteemed patrons of the X potion tier.

Chris 1:24
Our producer? Yeah. Thank you so much, Denise.

Haney 1:29
Beautiful love it nailed. It can’t get better than that. Yeah, but there’s one last person we also need to think Chris, and entity if you will.

Chris 1:37
And holy shit, Henny. You don’t understand how much we owe them right now. I don’t know you’re about to because I would not have been able to get through the last two weeks without them. Of course, we’re talking about uncommon coffee. Dr. Our sponsor, thank you so much. Literally, you save the show and you don’t even know it. He doesn’t know it.

Haney 1:59
I don’t know what’s going on here. Well, honey, you

Chris 2:01
remember about two weeks ago. I’m gonna I’m going to factory reset the computer. Yeah, it’s gonna be great. It’ll run faster or run better, stronger, harder.

Haney 2:11
That’s this computer that I’m looking at right now. Yeah. And that was really worried about you factory resetting without me here. Yeah, yeah.

Chris 2:17
Well, here’s the thing handy. I didn’t necessarily copy over the save files. When I factory reset the computer. Okay, now you may be wondering, what does this have to do with coffee? We lost all of our progress. Oh, prices score. Excellent. And Majoris mess. Okay, so the past two weeks. I’ve come here and I’ve played through those games back up to the point we were at to make a new save file so we can continue the podcast. And I wouldn’t be here. If it weren’t for uncommon coffee getting me through those fucking days.

Haney 2:54
Were you ever gonna tell me that it’s not from this ad read?

Chris 2:56
No, no, I was coming in hours into

Haney 3:01
crisis court. How did you get through Majoris mask without? Thank you so much to uncommon VT COMM For saving first encounter and also saving Chris’s life potentially. Yeah, yeah. still to be determined on if that last part gets saved, but good God. Here we are uncommon vt.com For the best coffee you could possibly consider. I’m also really shook right? This knowledge, I’m gonna eat my bread and play some games. But thank you so much uncommon coffee uncom and BT calm. You can check out our discount code. Good. Good. All one word, lowercase uppercase doesn’t matter. And receive 10% off your order. Yes, some exclusions apply. But please go support. I’m coming bt.com Because they’ve supported us and saved the show.

Chris 3:50
Yeah, if you think hours and hours into content, and then erase it all. You’ll really want them on your side.

Haney 3:56
Thank you so much. I’m counting vt.com Dude.

Chris 4:01
It’s fine. It all worked out in the end. Here we are.

Haney 4:04
I cannot believe is that why you’ve been so stressed lately?

Chris 4:08
Let’s just get back to Zelda okay

Haney 4:20
you Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker 4:21
Can you call him son of a bitch.

Chris 4:25
You know, I was unsure of how good of a gamer I was until today. And now I know. I’m really just the cream of the crop. Just the tippy top of pro gamers. And I have to say it feels good. I’m happy to be here. What do you think?

Haney 4:44
We’d like to take this time to announce that this is the last episode featuring Chris and we will be replacing him with literally anyone else. Honestly, I would take a rock with a face painted on this fuck. You don’t mean that now we have fun here. Yeah. Brace one of us did. I have a very important question for you to lead us off?

Chris 5:04
I got a very less important answer.

Haney 5:06
What worked for prehistoric creatures? Did Britain Sir Richard oh and Coyne in 1842? Chair Dactyl close dinosaur.

Chris 5:14
I feel like I nailed that one. He is pretty close. As close as I’ve gotten a

Haney 5:18
for those listening at home and he found Trivial Pursuit cards and has been pulling them out at random points to ask Chris questions from them.

Chris 5:26
I think that’s a pretty fun addition to first encounter, but I think it should probably be one per talk through. Let’s not go crazy here.

Haney 5:32
Yeah, like Yeah, go ahead and put those down and start talking.

Chris 5:37
Yeah, talk to me. Hey, hey, how are ya? Good. My pits are sweaty. Yeah,

Haney 5:41
it’s pretty hot in this room.

Chris 5:42
You’re popping pills like nobody’s business tic

Haney 5:45
tac. Would you like a tic tac audience?

Chris 5:48
It’s a pretty adventure.

Haney 5:51
Do you want to go on an adventure with me?

Chris 5:52
You keep asking me and I keep saying yes. And I’m still stuck in this record on your handout. With a green, little lime green.

Haney 6:00
What’s your lime green?

Chris 6:01
Yeah, that’s what they call me. Mr. Lime Green.

Haney 6:03
That’s what they call Luigi. There’s a in Louise Manson. Yeah, actually, yeah. The booze column. Mr. Lime Green. Hmm. Spoilers Luigi.

Unknown Speaker 6:12
Booze Cruise

Chris 6:13
will eventually be a great episode title.

Haney 6:16
Yes, yes. And so we play we played for two hours. Sorry. I it was really hard for me to get the word play out of my mouth for what I just watched. Chris. Do

Chris 6:30
I had a really good time? I feel like this is just me. This isn’t a joke. I feel like this is the most I’ve connected to the game so far. I’m not joking. Like this is the most fun I’ve had with this game up till now. What I’ve just witnessed

Haney 6:43
was Chris basically waging a spiritual holy war against everything I stay in a video game.

Chris 6:53
There was a good time.

Haney 6:54
We had a good time. I had a blast. So Chris, we played The Legend of Zelda Majora Xmas today.

Chris 6:59
Yes, we picked up Majoris mask last time we saved right inside the swamp swamp. In today’s episode, we picked up right at the swamp and he saved and I turned about face and I walked right out of the swamp.

Haney 7:12
Yeah, cuz, can you explain why you had to walk out of the swamp? Yes,

Chris 7:17
I had to deposit my rupees.

Haney 7:18
Because you lost track of time. And it was like halfway through day three.

Unknown Speaker 7:22
That’s fine. That’s that’s just

Chris 7:23
gonna be a running thing. Yes, it’s

Haney 7:25
pretty fair. So at this point, you’re running to determine a field. And this is where you have to two things that kind of happened that aren’t that interesting, but I was amused by them. One is the wolves attacking you. They shouldn’t be there. That’s that’s where we keep our that’s where we keep our wolves.

Chris 7:40
There’s just no good. Yeah, first of all, they’re not wolves. They’re werewolves. Yes. What the fox? Why there should not be swamp werewolves. That’s just not good. It’s a

Haney 7:47
nightmare. That’s actually when you say it out loud. That sounds terrifying. Yeah.

Chris 7:51
Ah. Oh shit. That’s a werewolf. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Why did they come into the ground?

Haney 8:01
Why wouldn’t they? That’s where werewolves come from? What

Chris 8:04
are you talking about? No,

Haney 8:06
there’s so many of them hunting you down.

Chris 8:08
Why are they in?

Haney 8:09
My God? There’s so many why and why are they in the field? Why aren’t you fighting them? Why are you running?

Chris 8:14
Christmas scare me? How are you gonna level up? They weren’t in the field in October. Yeah, I don’t think do I hear a cow? Yeah, no.

Haney 8:25
Walk back the Yes. Why do Where the fuck is the cow? You also heard a cow at this point. Yeah. In termina field but there’s no cattle are no. So that’s the thing to just know. Oh, yeah, I

Chris 8:40
guess so. I never found them.

Haney 8:42
It was interesting to me because I was like, is that a canonize?

Chris 8:48
I do hear a cow. Where’s that?

Haney 8:50
I bet it’s on the tall grass. Oh, it’s getting louder when you walk towards the tall grass actually. Chris where’s the cow it’s Oh, good. What? Every time you get close to the grass over there there’s a cow the grass over where this grass? Nope. That’s right. Yeah, the grass patch. This? Whatever you want. What do you mean whatever I

Unknown Speaker 9:12
want? Well, I

Chris 9:13
thought you were making a Pokemon joke. I thought that’s why you said tall grass.

Haney 9:16
No, there’s a little plug grass here and I heard a

Chris 9:21
that wasn’t a cow. I’m sure we’ll work our way back. I

Haney 9:25
hope so. I I have to look up what that was. No, no, no. Huh? Yeah. That’s why I was so curious about it. Because I was like, Why isn’t accountable is it might just be a minor thing that I’ve forgotten about. But I’m like, That’s it just seemed weird. Because it’s like there’s no cows around. Yeah, it was

Chris 9:44
coming from the tall grass. Yeah. And there’s no cows. There’s some Milltek or something that’s going to spread up against Yeah, please. Roll out.

Haney 9:51
Goodbye like Mel tanks rollout. So dumb. Welcome to our podcast.

Chris 9:58
Alright, so We go deposit our rupees I think we do.

Haney 10:02
So you also tried talking to the sisters. Yeah. So when I got back to want nothing to do with you though, no,

Chris 10:09
I got back to Clock Town and I checked my journal. I was like, well, as long as I’m here, I might as well like see if there’s anyone I can bump into. And yeah, just give a helping hand to just a little friendly hint. Just a little handy. Yeah, and yeah, you give those Handys Yeah, yeah. And my journal said the sisters, I could help them today. Day two, right on time. Roll up to him over there. We’re already in the bank district. I like to call it Yeah. The financial district. Yeah, the financial district. And I was like, hey, you need to Can I help you with anything? And they’re like, fuck off.

Haney 10:39
They’re like, fuck right off.

Chris 10:40
And I said, Okay,

Haney 10:42
that was as far as you go. Trying

Chris 10:44
to help people. That was that. I was like, clearly I’m not wanted here. Yeah. Uh, oh. The Rosa sisters. Mm hmm. And the postman. He’s gonna end soon. I could check it the Rosa sisters as long as some right here. Let’s see. Hey, sis, talk to me.

Unknown Speaker 11:02
Don’t bother us. Talk to me. Don’t bother us.

Chris 11:08
Well, I did when I could deposit my rupees.

Unknown Speaker 11:16
There. Yes. Hey, champ, my man. What’s this?

Unknown Speaker 11:21
You need something?

Chris 11:22
I feel like his voice has never been the same. No, not even once. Deposit rupees.

Take my money.

Unknown Speaker 11:29
Excuse me, but let me let me take a look at you. Don’t pie Yes. Link if I remember you’re the little guy deposited 46 rupees only a little while you’re gonna make a deposit. How much?

Chris 11:42
How much too? Too excited?

Haney 11:44
Tell me. Tell me how many rupees Oh scary. Wow, that’s a lot. A lot. A lot.

Chris 11:52
Scary. Scary. Scary. Dark Room. Well, no, I reset time you

Unknown Speaker 11:58
reset time that I hit it. Fuck it, sir. mechta Again, if I could find who we did

Chris 12:05
find my way right back in swamp. Oh, right.

Haney 12:09
Back is a strong word. The thing I really love about this game is the ability to reset time. Yeah, so like at any point you’re like, oh, yeah, I don’t have to worry about this. Yeah, like I don’t think there’s anything other than like that first chunk of time like the first three days before you get the awkward enough where you can’t repeat it.

Chris 12:27
I’m definitely gonna approach this game. Like a warm bath. I’m just gonna let it walk every they’re just gonna soak in a bath so yeah, stop right there. You some errand in the swamp. I haven’t taken a bath and it’s dangerous outside the town walls so I cannot allow a Chad like you to afford sword. My apologies, sir. It was wrong of me to treat you like a child.

Haney 12:53
I like how it turned me in the field seems more dangerous during the day than at night.

Chris 12:56
I don’t know. I don’t like the werewolves. Those aren’t in the field. Those are only in the swamp. Okay. Gotcha. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Haney 13:04
Live in swamps only. fuck was that a creature spawned and then immediately disappeared. Really? Yeah, I saw that too. Don’t like that field. Not for me.

Chris 13:15
Head back to the swamp where people do appreciate me. Yeah, yes. And

Haney 13:24
you. You found? Yeah, yeah. But before you found the hut directly behind the hut. There’s a big creature. Yeah, an aqua rock. We call it. You call it and you decided to just dive right at its face.

Chris 13:39
Well, you made it sound very friendly.

Haney 13:42
I did not.

Chris 13:43
You said yeah, I said okay. Pretty cool. swam up to it.

Haney 13:49
He sucked you up into this little snooty. And he did a booty 2d. Right out of his snooty have you? Yeah. Spit your right across the swamp. No good.

Chris 13:59
It’s like a little sucking spit. And I said that’s enough of that. What is your problem?

Haney 14:06
Nothing. Nothing. Oh, I got big old Octo rock, if you will. I don’t know if I will. What? Do I do not like the octo rock. I want to talk to you. Ah, no. Do you think he likes he’s still very

Chris 14:24
terrible friend. Me. Why would you not say anything about that? How are you get out of the water? Oh my god. Oh, just gonna drown here. Hope that’s cool.

Haney 14:34
Yeah, that’s fine. Let’s be out. You can just swim out. So then I think you decided to go into the hut. Yeah,

Chris 14:42
it was a good hot. There’s a big beefy burly man. Yeah, good. Good mustache. Good glasses. Wild eyes.

Haney 14:49
I like his outfit.

Chris 14:50
I don’t remember his outfit.

Haney 14:52
He’s bare chested. Except for a small vest.

Chris 14:55
That’s why I don’t remember his outfit. Yeah, it’s great. Yeah, it’s pretty good.

Haney 14:59
And anyway, Got a pilot’s hat and the goggles almost said Say

Chris 15:03
Yeah, yeah, very good. You don’t really kind of reminds me of it once it the ox king or from Dragon Ball Dragon Ball. Yeah.

Haney 15:12
Cheese father.

Chris 15:13
Yeah, yeah, obviously I got very ox King energy. Yeah, I could easily see that cool guy learned that he is in fact a father as well.

Haney 15:23
Yeah. A Papa to your favorite character

Chris 15:27
the most successful map seller in the world of

Haney 15:32
Zelda this the side of Termina. Yeah, tingle tingles. Daddy just tingles puppy. Ah, yeah. That’s cool. Like, would you like a fruity

Chris 15:40
adventure, please? Whoo. To this time moving up.

Haney 15:45
Every time you get an answer, right. I give you one additional fruity adventure. I like this game. Um, so yeah, you met tingles dead? Yeah.

Chris 15:53
He runs a book tour business. Yep. And on the side. He has a photo contest. Obviously tight. Yeah. Um, unfortunately, I didn’t have any pictograph boxes. Yeah, that’s cameras for all you premium millennials. I was gonna say

Haney 16:12
yes. Yep. Then the Zoomers called?

Chris 16:15
Yeah, back in the day, we used pictograph boxes. So

Haney 16:19
before before we got our iPhone 10 I like this guy,

Chris 16:25
buddy. Where is he? A spoiled child is off playing hooky again. Child his ages no business searching for fairies. Oh, welcome.

Haney 16:35
Do you know what that means?

Chris 16:36
Is this this puppy? Ah, this is tingles daddy. Yeah, his eyes are really wide and scary.

Haney 16:42
He’s having a good time.

Unknown Speaker 16:43
Well, then,

Chris 16:45
why don’t you show me the pictograph you’ve taken

Haney 16:47
a look at this pictograph every time and always makes me laugh.

Chris 16:53
First start doing this like I’m screen choose these. See? Yeah, this is your first time entering the pictograph contest. Well, the swamp tourist center is currently holding a pictograph contest is open to all ages from children to adults. I’m an adult because I have a sword. Yeah, that’s true. For nice pictographs taking the swap a free book cruise will be awarded as a special prize. So would you like to enter a contest? Oh, but the Enter you first must take the book cruise. I’d like to book cruise reservations are handled at that window over there. You’re interested in go for ride?

Haney 17:26
Do you like tingles pup? Ah,

Chris 17:28
yeah. So wait a minute. The Octo rock is just to prevent people from like taking free rides. Is that right?

Haney 17:37
I don’t know if that’s the intention. But yeah, that’s

Chris 17:38
definitely what’s happening. Yeah, I assume the octo rock works for this guy. Can I read you?

Unknown Speaker 17:44
Old Khomeini’s boat cruise? Take it off. It’s closed. Please inquire the magic hags potion shop near the edge of the swamp.

Chris 17:54
So that’s cool. I need to find at this point. A pictograph. Box. Yeah. And I go over to talk to the window that supposed to kind of offer the poisoned swamp tour rides. If you will, if you will. There’s no one there.

Haney 18:12
No. Where the hell as ever? I

Chris 18:14
don’t know. I guess I’ll make my way back around. That’s fine. Yeah. At this point, I head back into the swamp kind of go a little further. And I’m looking for a potion shop. Yeah, I know. There’s some witches out here.

Haney 18:26
Yeah, that’s swamp witches make sense? Yeah.

Chris 18:28
Yeah. came upon it pretty quickly. Yeah, it’s literally the next right next to each other their neighbors.

Unknown Speaker 18:37
Magic hags potion shop ahead. No, what’s this?

Chris 18:41
I assume it’s a potion shop.

Haney 18:43
Why would the buck What do you think that?

Chris 18:45
It’s just got that vibe. I don’t want Hearthstone rubies.

Haney 18:49
You probably want hearts. No, we’re very close.

Chris 18:52
Those so I’m a pro gamer boy.

Haney 18:54
Huh? Hmm. I want another meat gun.

Chris 19:00
Sir, please. I told you never call me on the podcast.

Unknown Speaker 19:05
Please feel free to take our fresh spring water home with you swamp tours center.

Chris 19:10
Sir fresh spring water from the swamp. Yeah. This is this home. Oh, blue Ruby. Hello Blue. Blue. P if you will be Yeah, that’s what they call it.

Haney 19:19
Why don’t you climb? You climb?

Chris 19:21
Knock Knock. Knock. No

Unknown Speaker 19:23
joke.

Unknown Speaker 19:24
It is lick.

Haney 19:28
Oh, what a cool building. That’s pretty cool. I love the witches magic potion shop.

Chris 19:32
Yeah, just kind of a wicked teapot again. Yeah,

Haney 19:35
it’s really good that that is good.

Chris 19:39
So we roll into the potion shop. Yeah, we talked to the witch sisters there. And she’s like, my sister’s missing. She went into the I don’t remember what the the works of mystery. Yeah. Which I had kind of stumbled across initially and said,

Haney 19:55
Now I’m good. Yeah, you’re like you literally turned around without going like navasana

Chris 19:59
I need to do this here. So here’s something that I feel like I do a very good job of following in this game especially, is my objective list, right? I have a mission you have to do is I’m going to accomplish it. Nothing is going to distract me from my mission. Yeah. Talk to the sister. She said, Hey, there’s my sister’s missing.

Haney 20:21
You got to go. mushroom hunting in the in the woods. Why don’t you go find her? Okay, so I said all right.

Unknown Speaker 20:27
Magic hags potion shop.

Unknown Speaker 20:30
Oh, can I have a brew?

Haney 20:32
Thank you. I don’t think so.

Chris 20:33
That’d be really good. So you can zoom in around.

Haney 20:36
You can talk to all Comey. Oh,

Chris 20:38
it’s coming. Lizard.

Haney 20:40
No, she’s an old lady. Ah.

Unknown Speaker 20:44
Welcome. My poll should work very well. They do. Are you by chance a boat cruise customer could be how unfortunate Comey has gone into the woods out back looking for shrooms. Hmm, no, I think about it. She’s a bit late coming back. say could you go find a for me? It’s easy to get lost in those woods as that monkeys that live there.

Haney 21:09
Guess what? I just asked the monkeys.

Chris 21:13
I said alright. Return to the mysterious woods. The sleeping forest. The Lost Woods. And just you know, strode in there. There’s a monkey.

Haney 21:23
Yeah. Well, monkeys like, follow me. So no, I played and he does the else follow me.

Chris 21:29
And I did. You did. I followed him. There’s so when you go into the woods, there’s kind of a north, south, east and west path that you can follow. Yeah. And when you talk to the monkey, and he says follow me. He just kind of takes off down one of the paths and you’re like, cool, and he just takes different paths and you’re supposed to follow him through the woods. To pick you out though.

Haney 21:48
This is kind of weird when you’re on a rescue mission.

Chris 21:50
Yeah. Didn’t work though. No, just followed him straight all the way through. First try. I got it done. No problem. Really.

Haney 21:58
It’s interesting here because my notes actually say it took you four times to get through the woods because you fucked up. The first time you just lost the monkey tire. Well,

Chris 22:11
here’s the thing to be fair. There were turtles that were trying to murder me. Gang lay there. Turtles with spikes. They spin in this bad it’s bad time. So I guess what I should have said was I nailed it on the fifth try? Yes. Crushed it. Yeah, no problem. Yeah.

Haney 22:30
So you got lost a couple times. But eventually you memorize the pattern enough to not fuck it all up.

Chris 22:35
That’s fine. Did my job.

Haney 22:39
The fuck is this?

Chris 22:39
I assume that’s a monkey. But I don’t do anything speaking.

Unknown Speaker 22:44
Follow me.

Haney 22:48
I gotta follow him or what? Fuck, this is gonna be hilarious.

Unknown Speaker 22:54
Gang gang. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I

Chris 22:57
agree. Turtle. Shit. I lost him.

Haney 23:00
Oh, no.

Chris 23:02
This is okay. Southern swamp. This is just where it was. Yeah, you

Haney 23:06
took a wrong turn. What the fuck?

Chris 23:08
Fuck. Some Lost Woods.

Haney 23:14
I mean, it’s the literal loss was music that’s playing right now. You should know.

Chris 23:17
I’m sleeping forest. Follow me. Take me there. Fuck me. Oh, no. That’s fine.

Haney 23:28
I’ve been waiting so long for the for this moment. Follow me

this is my favorite thing that’s ever happened

Chris 23:42
to me, follow me.

Haney 23:45
You get out of the woods, or into the last section of the woods of mystery. And there’s a bunch of monkeys surrounding an old woman on the ground. Yeah, in the agony

Chris 23:55
kind of looks like they beat her up. Not good. But drew my sword. Did you attack the monkeys? No, but I probably should have. It was very suspicious. But she

Haney 24:05
tells you that it was the dang Skull Kid. Yeah, who knocked her from behind when she wasn’t looking. She’s like, I don’t understand how he asked his parents. Just the frickin school kid and I like how did he get the best of me? Like What? What? Yeah, but she’s not feeling so hot. She’s like, why don’t you give me something to make me feel better and fill me with energy, which Chris replied quickly. I have nothing to give you.

Unknown Speaker 24:28
I was just busy minding my own business picking mushrooms when I got hit from behind that pesky Skull Kid. Do you think that wouldn’t recognize him if he hit his face? Interesting. Wow. To think he’s that powerful. Now I can’t even move me you don’t you have anything that gives you energy? What is this? You’re no help. I say you’re not at all what you make yourself out to be?

Chris 24:53
Well, Ruby, I guess it wasn’t a total loss. What are the signs

Unknown Speaker 25:02
and of the woods mystery?

Chris 25:05
Just a tourist trap. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 25:07
And of the woods of mystery on what the ass end of the woods mystery Cool,

Chris 25:12
cool, cool, cool, cool.

Haney 25:14
What do you what are you gonna do?

Chris 25:15
I guess I’m gonna grab a potion and hope that does the trick. When I was in the potion shop previously, I didn’t have any rupees and I couldn’t buy anything because I just deposited them all on the back. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 25:26
Nailed it.

Chris 25:27
That’s fine. Crushed it. No problem. Absolutely needed to do that. Now I need a potion. So I turned back around. Get out of the Lost Woods. Mysterious Woods sleeping forest. And I go talk to her sister. That’s okay. Yeah, she’s like, Oh, no, no, here take this take this potion. You get to keep the bottle after tight. Good love bottles so far. It’s my favorite item. After my beautiful mask.

Haney 25:53
Yeah, you do you love your beautiful mask and your bottle was a good mask. Is this a good time?

Unknown Speaker 25:59
What’s that?

Haney 26:01
Sorry This voice is killing my throat. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 26:04
What’s that the skunk good got to Kobe? That’s ridiculous. I’ve it’s just the skullcap the what harm can you possibly dough? Wow, well if that’s true, then take this potion to her. This isn’t good. Oh, don’t have to buy it. You got a bottle of red potion red potion replenishes health after using this potion saves a bottle for storing things. Oh, on the Select Item screen set it to blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Then press let’s see bought 10 Toyota. Quick. Take that potion to her.

Chris 26:38
I was gonna say can probably keep this for myself. Or a piece of kit. But if I give it to her, I’ll still have the bottle. laughter So

Haney 26:48
yeah, bottles are pretty pretty important.

Chris 26:51
Hearts are temporary bottles are forever.

Haney 26:53
Yeah, I’d say I’d say that’s accurate. Can I interest you in real words of mystery of the time?

Chris 26:58
I wish you wanted

Haney 27:00
you cruise back through the woods of mystery. Yep. And did not nail it. Once again. I nailed it after a couple of attempts. It’s fine to according to my notes here.

Chris 27:09
You take better notes than I do.

Haney 27:11
This is mostly because I wanted to absolutely grind the dagger home on how many tries it’s I

Chris 27:17
think it’s okay. It’s fair. Yeah.

Haney 27:20
Well, you follow me please.

Chris 27:21
Fuck you. Watch this. Watch this ship.

Unknown Speaker 27:25
A moccasin.

Unknown Speaker 27:27
Gang re

Chris 27:32
s maybe maybe I do need the monkey. Ship. What? No. Are you okay? No.

Haney 27:41
You have lost that monkey? No, I’m just gonna make a words of mystery counter for the website.

Chris 27:49
So if Kotaku, not Kotaku, Kotaku, okay, cool. I

Haney 27:54
mean, that’s, it’s only because that’s a website. Yeah, you’re pretty close. Honestly, considering that that is a real word. Or at least that is a real thing. Like, yeah, it’s pretty close.

Chris 28:03
So I give Kotaku, I roll with it. I gave Kotaku the potion. And she’s like, give me that shit. And she just fucking yanks. It just throws it on the ground. And he’s like, Hey, I’m feeling 100 years better.

Haney 28:18
Yeah, kinda nanana

Unknown Speaker 28:23
that’s No, that’s definitely Kentucky’s.

Haney 28:26
Yeah, she stood up real quick ones. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 28:29
Wow. Oh, feel the energy flow commands revived.

Chris 28:35
whips out her broom hops on it. She’s like, Hey, you ever want a free ride on my boat? Tour? Yeah. Hit me up. Yeah, she flies off. zooms out of there.

Unknown Speaker 28:47
You saved me.

Chris 28:49
Do you want to fly me out of here?

Haney 28:50
I’m the swamp tour guide. I run the boat cruise. So come back. If you want a free ride.

Chris 28:54
I’d like a free ride. Could you? Oh, no, I guess that’s fine. I guess I’ll just walk. Asshole. Pick up my bottle, dust it off. Put it in my pocket. Get the hell out of the woods. Easy.

Unknown Speaker 29:09
Yeah.

Haney 29:10
But on the way out. You’re set upon by the monkeys. And they’re like, hey, our brother was captured by the daycares. And only a daycare can get in there. Can you? Can you help? Links like hey,

Chris 29:24
links like, doesn’t say anything? No cause link Yeah, protagonist. Yeah, they seem to get the picture though. They rush off

Haney 29:33
yeah, yeah, be good time. Oh, God. Monkey attack.

Chris 29:39
Monkey party. You have strange powers. No, we’ve been watching you. Lately the swamp filled with poisoned water. Temple above waterfall strange brother go to temple but brother No able to find temple entrance temple for diku only brother captured by Daegu. Now one palace. Help. Where do they say that entrance was why were they had to To my book. I want to help the monkeys

Haney 30:02
I don’t think I don’t think the the super speciesist brothers were really interested in what you were selling.

Chris 30:12
I’ll be honest. The secret club is getting less and less. Cool. Cool to me. Thank you.

Haney 30:21
Why don’t you help these poor monkeys?

Chris 30:23
Because I want to vote to her my dude. Hmm. I think I follow them at that point.

Haney 30:29
You did. But it really just they basically just lead you back to the swamp tourist

Chris 30:33
center. Yeah. So Bustan they’re already in full Pep. I talked to Koco

Haney 30:41
Kamay. Yes, whatever. Doesn’t matter.

Chris 30:44
And she says it good. Thanks for the Thanks for the assist. Right there.

Unknown Speaker 30:49
You want to go on a ride with

Chris 30:50
me hop on my Swamp Boat? Yes. And I say boy, do I right on that show

Haney 30:57
me that slam?

Unknown Speaker 30:59
Oh, that’s yes. Hey, Comey. Thanks for what you did back there in a special deal just for you.

Haney 31:05
I’ll let you take this cruise for free. Yes, we’ve got a special going on right now. So we’re giving this out for free. Ooh, yeah. pictograph box A

Chris 31:15
proceed to look through it and press eight snap a pic. You can shoot only one pictograph at a time, but you can retake it as many times as you like. All right, boats leaving?

Haney 31:25
Sure that’s fine.

Chris 31:28
Oh, I guess I’m just on this now.

Haney 31:29
Welcome to the bookies. Please set your pictograph box to see li Wait, wait, wait. Please enJoy the song soon. It’s your heart’s content. Oh.

Chris 31:36
And we head out into the swamp on a boat tour. The magic carpet ride for boats in a slump. And during this time, you can whip out your pictograph box and you can snap pictures. Yeah, you can only take one picture. It’s true. I’ve been told by me by Hani and you want the winning picture? You want the best picture? Kinda like Ooh, thank you. Another one green one. That’s la

Haney 32:01
I like how this is like this is just gonna be punctuated slowly by me feeding you tic tac that’s fine. Yeah. All right. Chris, do you have to take a really good

Chris 32:10
picture? Put them on SNAP?

Haney 32:12
How are you going to how are you going to impress tingles father if you don’t take a good picture?

Chris 32:17
I don’t care about tingles father own impress tingle. Chris to impress tingle, you

Haney 32:21
have to impress his father. Are you okay?

Chris 32:23
Why do you only get one picture?

Haney 32:25
What the fuck did you just do?

Chris 32:26
I just I took a picture.

Haney 32:28
I don’t think you should keep this picture. No, fuck off. You only get one picture. Yes.

Chris 32:34
Oh, okay, so not Pokemon Snap. No. Like if Pokemon Snapple you

Haney 32:38
have to take the picture that’s gonna win.

Chris 32:42
What a good time. Yeah, we had a good time. So I snapped some pictures. None of them were good spoiler.

Haney 32:47
I’m not good. He doesn’t know what he’s taking pictures. I’m

Chris 32:49
not gonna keep you in suspense. They weren’t I didn’t take good pictures.

Haney 32:51
No, but the boat did manage to kill the Octorok for you.

Chris 32:55
It’s pretty horrific just plows right through.

Unknown Speaker 32:57
We’ll just plow them.

Chris 32:58
What am I taking picture of

Haney 33:00
anything? But it has got to be at the swamp

Chris 33:03
though. I know what’s good though. It look there’s a frog. How do I know what’s a good picture?

Haney 33:07
I mean, I could tell you but I’m not going to what? Maybe that could have been

Chris 33:12
sure what the fuck? Oh, I don’t have any I don’t have any any film left

Haney 33:17
but she she used the boat to destroy order that Okta rocks and now that’s no longer blocked. Everything. Deku Palace? Yeah. Deku Palace. The swamp water is poisonous here. So please watch yourself. Are you dissing breaking?

Chris 33:30
No, I want to take pictures.

Haney 33:34
How often did you feel like you were dying inside while watching me play

Chris 33:38
before or after we got to bone village. Bone village town for nature lovers. Alright, that’s my picture. All right. I would like to disembark place

Haney 33:49
right now just jump into the poisoned swamp water. It also makes a

Chris 33:54
stop at the coup pal. Correct. Is that what it’s called?

Haney 33:58
It is called that indeed.

Chris 33:59
Yeah. There’s like, Hey, you want to hop off here? I said fuck no. No, but moving. You didn’t fall for? Yeah. And I rushed back in there is like, hey, Popeye took a picture. Are you proud of me? Here’s what it is.

Haney 34:12
He says you’re basically as useless as tingle to me. I said. That’s fair. He says you’re another 35 year old man who lives at home wearing green clothes with no fairy someday. Fingers crossed sell your goddamn maps and make me money. Yeah,

Chris 34:28
that is literally what he said. game that’s not a joke. It’s really fucked up. But

Haney 34:32
it’s a real it’s good. We have a good time here on the first encounter podcast

Chris 34:36
as you’ll hear from Hani as I’m as he slowly loses in mind and breaks I

Haney 34:43
got pretty close to breaking today. Wow Welcome back. If you’re ever in the mood come again. I will not call it will not come.

Chris 34:54
Well, then why show me the pictograph you’ve taken shall never start to select screen.

Unknown Speaker 35:01
Yeah,

Chris 35:02
have you got pictograph? Yeah. Oh, wait,

Unknown Speaker 35:04
you have to Sir. Sir. Come down.

Unknown Speaker 35:07
Well then why don’t you show seen this?

Haney 35:12
That’s kind of a standard shot, don’t you think? Well,

Unknown Speaker 35:15
it is a good shot. Yeah, it is.

Haney 35:17
Alright to surprise five rupees or another boat cruise Hmm. Well, it’s kind of a standard shot, don’t you think? You know saying you’re close. Chris he wants you to take a good picture.

Chris 35:34
I’m done with pictures. I’m gonna go investigate that per last.

Haney 35:39
Well, Bhiku Palace times.

Chris 35:42
Crews out there. sail back to the diku palace. Yeah, hop off. I run up to the guards. I got two guards. Yeah, there’s some guards at the front gate of the Palace. And they’re like, Hey, you come to see this fucking monkey who kidnapped the princess piece of shit. I’m like, Yeah, sure.

Haney 35:59
I like public humiliation.

Chris 36:00
Yeah, they disappear. I say crap.

Haney 36:02
Like I’m a regular on kink.com. So

Chris 36:07
today’s episode sponsored by

Haney 36:09
you know what if they’re paying

Chris 36:14
Oh, this looks like a whole thing

Haney 36:15
would fall short cut for use by Daegu scrubs only? Well,

Chris 36:20
I’m not scrub, but can I interest you in? Real day to have a ton?

Haney 36:27
Like, you refuse to unequip the Great Fairy mask. That’s

Chris 36:32
the great mask.

Haney 36:33
I literally think it’s the most useless mask.

Chris 36:35
You don’t know you’re talking to oh, oh no, no, get off.

Haney 36:39
Nice. Saved it. Nailed it. Forgot. Maybe these guys do

Chris 36:43
definitely drown. think kids are they’re bigger than me.

Haney 36:47
This is the Palace of the bigger kingdom. Well, maybe that’s your business manager. But your manager to see the public humiliation of the foolish monkey who angered our King. That’s fucked. Follow this hall straight to the royal chamber. Do not enter any other areas whatsoever. Just walk the other way. Fuck this. You don’t want to watch that public humiliation.

Chris 37:09
I turn right back around. Leave the palace. Don’t need this. No kind of golf a little side path you went off on a lot of side path.

Haney 37:16
Listen. See is what is called the Deku shortcut.

Chris 37:21
Yeah, just entered a flower blast back out of it to get up onto a little ledge and then follow this little weird side path kind of into another section of the swamp flotsam dragonflies, Fossum. Dragonflies almost died. Found another hut. Yeah, this is the the fearful spider house. Yeah. Which was new to you?

Haney 37:42
Yes. So this is something I don’t remember ever having encountered before. And the numerous times I’ve played this game. It’s gone up here. Oh, look, it’s dragonflies. A cattle talk to me. Is that dragonfly as long as you stay away from its tail, it’s no big danger. Garlic. faces like a horrible night.

Chris 38:01
Just about to say dragonflies aren’t supposed to have skulls.

Haney 38:04
I’m sure it’s fine. It shoot it. Bubble. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 38:11
Oh, nice. Still hit me.

Haney 38:13
Nailed it. I like on.

Unknown Speaker 38:17
Bubble beam cannon.

Chris 38:21
Dude, I’m just man. You know? We’re seeing such a natural Deku Scrub.

Haney 38:27
I mean, I definitely would say your natural scrub. Yes. Fearful spider house

Unknown Speaker 38:32
dead ahead. Open.

Haney 38:36
Oh, it’s cobwebs. How do you get rid of cobwebs?

Chris 38:38
Fire? Mostly?

Haney 38:39
Yeah. How do you get fire? Can you just describe the fearful spider house for our listeners at home.

Chris 38:45
So it’s a little hot in the middle of the swamp. And the front door is covered by very thick cobwebs that you can’t get through. So you grab a stick. I immediately knew what to do. I was like, yeah, that fire right there lit up my torch burned down the cobweb entering the house.

Haney 39:00
And this is where we cut in the part where you literally had to tell him to turn around because it wasn’t even hidden.

Chris 39:06
We always have time to turn around handy when you’re on a mission

Haney 39:12
because literally look behind you. Oh Good God, man.

Chris 39:19
I only have one stick though. Yeah,

Haney 39:21
fucking set it on fire. Burn Baby Burn stick just go in fun. Oh,

Chris 39:27
do you think the spiders will mind?

Unknown Speaker 39:29
Probably better put my mask in case

Chris 39:33
they’ll never recognize me this way.

Haney 39:36
Their house is built strangely like a temple. Dungeon dungeon? Yeah, yeah.

Chris 39:41
So enter the house and a monster falls from the ceiling.

Haney 39:48
Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue please support us at patreon.com/first encounter. Find our socials and contact info at first encounter podcast comm please stop by and say hey, all right. Intro and Outro music is by Alden Zach I want to dance

Unknown Speaker 40:08
with somebody I want to deal with somebody with some body who moves beans is the fun

Unknown Speaker 40:19
oh man see? You

Chris 40:25
just did it earlier.

Haney 40:26
Why is this what is what

Chris 40:28
changed your desktop resolution? Oh my God why