We break into that sexy pirate fortress, blow up a few times, get kicked out a few times, and find a weird egg.
❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript
Hey listener first encounters an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Do you think one day we’ll get our first comment like three or four years from now? That’s like, I missed the old Kristen Hani. You know how like, that’s inevitably like a comment that comes up over like, like years of like, yeah, like being like a podcaster. Like YouTuber or something. Yeah,
I can’t wait to get our
after. To fucking Taylor Swift and ticket.
What’s up? It’s your boy, Kenny.
Man, we can’t we can’t tweet at Taylor Swift anymore now. Hey, Lois. Hey, welcome. Welcome to another episode of first encounter. And more specifically, you can probably tell another remote intro. So yeah, I don’t really know what to say. You know, where we left off. We’re fucking breaking into a pirate fortress or whatever the buts. But before we get into that, our lovely patrons, one of which is new. Thank you, Beverly, so much for supporting what we’re doing right now.
Oh, Beverly. Amazing. Do you feel good about this purchase? Do you feel in job?
But yeah, thank Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Beverly. I swear. This isn’t how this was supposed to go. It’s supposed to be better. We were supposed to be better for you. i Why? I don’t know what to say. All I can do is apologize. But as long as I’m apologizing to you might as well apologize to all of our lovely ex potion listeners who support the show. Such as Liza, Josh. Joan fumbling for in the Almighty. crip. Dead I Cody calendrier. Brendan. Ben. Alex, what are you has to stop us? This falls on you.
I mean, since we’re passing the buck here and doing apologies all in one, it seems. Let’s let’s toss in a couple more names there such as Denise mom, August and Dr. J.
producers who are really to blame more than anyone I would say more so than us even I would say I would argue yes. Without their funds,
it’s likely we wouldn’t be able to produce a lot of the things we
did. Thank you so much for enabling us.
Speaking of enablers do I want to talk about
oh, it wasn’t it wasn’t a rhetorical question.
No, no, that was pretty direct. I’m looking you in the eye.
And, uh, you know, I don’t make eye contact.
That’s especially not during
never, never want to we’re doing it live. Hey, yeah.
I want to talk about wonderful establishment called uncommon coffee. So I found myself in need of some nourishment recently and decided to go on over to uncommon coffee, and I got myself a delightful, hot, medium coffee to go. I know you would think you. You want that right. You’re like, I want to get medium coffee to go. How do I get that? I can’t get that through the mail. But you can get through the mail instead. It’s some of uncommon coffees. Beans. If you
fucking email me, I will send you a hot coffee through the mail. I’ll fucking do it. I
Unknown Speaker 3:28
don’t care anymore. Yeah,
fucking test me.
Do it. Do it. Cowards, email him. Also, while you’re emailing people and looking for coffee, you should head on over to uncommon vi t.com. Click the little shop icon and buy yourself some coffee. They got all sorts of assorted beans. I recommend the Vietnam Opal bold. That’s my favorite. On that checkout page. There’ll be a little box. Well, promo code box and you can put in the word Good, good. All one word and get yourself 10% off. It’s great. It helps uncommon out it helps us out. It helps you out. You get caffeinated. We get caffeinated, uncommon gets caffeinated. It’s great. We’re all caffeinated each other. Yeah. Um, are we entering or unhinge sexy season?
I feel like right now since nearly day one.
I think I’m I think I’m aiming for a hot podcast or winter.
Yeah, all right. Let’s go
all right, Chris. Let’s take it back a little bit to times when things are a little simpler. And we knew what we were trying to do. You have an objective starting today out and that objective, if I remember right, was to break into the sexy pirate house. I was going to say wreck pirate booty. Yeah. I think we said the same thing. Yeah, I think so. So you started out wanting to go to the latte bar. But you were like, hey, I can wait on that.
Yeah, we started up on day two. And I knew Day Three is kind of when people were trickling, trickling in. Yeah, there were specific people that I had to talk to. Are the Finn stamp,
Toto and Garmin, Garmin. You can help them at around that time. You’ve also partially completed totos stage performance thing. Yep. That’s actually why I want to return to that. So you can head back there and maybe wrap that up if you have enough. spunk, if you will.
Yeah, yeah. But that’s day three and stay too, so I got some time to kill.
So you’re like, I think the pirate fortress is gonna go quick. Let’s do that.
Well, so the reason I thought the pirate fortress was gonna go quick. No spoilers. Yeah. But you can probably tell from our tone. What we’re implying here. The pirate fortress and the wonder temple are two different places. Yeah. So it’s like, if there’s two areas that I have to tackle, I’m sure one is a more manageable bite size than the other. Yeah. And I suppose realistically, one of them could have been,
it might be because you haven’t seen you don’t have a point of comparison yet.
I was talking about the pirate. I feel like maybe my path through Pirate Cove was not as efficient as it could be. So I’m I’m apologizing to our listeners who look to me for their pro Maduro mask strats. As we know, you’re out there.
Today is the day I strangled Chris with an XLR cable. So we’re having around and I believe where we started out. You were on the like, in Green Bay where the tank for the the Zuora eggs
is Yeah, what do they call it?
The Marine Research Laboratory. That’s
what it is. So we started the Marine Research Laboratory. Not laboratory
laboratory laboratory. Yeah. So you are Zara, dive yourself into the water and start doing some traversing. And you find a new little area that you hadn’t really hit before called Pinnacle rock. And there’s a Zara hanging out there. Yeah, like right at the entrance to Pinnacle rock. And he’s like, Hey, this is Pinnacle rock. Usually, it’s like a fun place to go to, but right now it’s full of fucking murky water that you can’t get through. It’s gonna be dangerous and you’ll get lost if you try to go
good news there. If you can snag a goldfish. That’ll get you through it. Yeah, and maybe that’ll be all cool and fucking Pinnacle rock can be the hot shit again. Also for context, Pinnacle rock is on the way toward from the laboratory to the Pirate Cove.
Yeah, great Bay is a big bay credible with with what would you
say? Right one? Oh, yeah. Maybe once we’re done with it. Yeah. Swim. Whoa.
Can I help you? Macau? Have you seen any gold colored fish around here? gold colored fish? No. This area very well. I was thinking of getting one to guide me to Pinnacle rock.
I heard that the pirates were attacked by sea snakes near the creatures lair. Seems they dropped something precious there. Don’t you wonder what it was me cow. But we’d have to get through that murky water to look for it. We’re all the gold colored fish when we need them.
Interesting. All right, well, immediately we already got some good Zuora directions
or and the gold colored Fisher Pinnacle rock apparently. Oh, excellent. So you’re like I don’t need a fucking fish. I’m just gonna go into Pinnacle rock. So you submerge yourself underwater and try to walk towards Pinnacle rock following all these little signs that are in the water.
Yeah, all the signs also have like arrows pointing in different as if they’re pointing
to like the direction of the path you should go. Yeah, definitely. Those are there to confuse you and try to make it harder because they do not work
now now. So if you try and swim out to where presumably the sea snakes chill, it kind of just keeps transporting you back to the entrance very
like last last woodsy kind of thing. Like if you just take a wrong turn you’ll you’ll end up back at the starting point. Yeah. You found Pinnacle rock. How’s that for
you? There’s something
there must be was a sign of sign. Yeah,
I want her to sign.
There must be something in the water. Pinnacle
rock ahead. You were murky water and sea snakes. You were my sea snake and I was
gonna say my sea snake makes murky water
Alright, well all right. I guess we’re just doing this.
Yeah, if I could try every drug. What’s on their gold color fish. Oh, you got lost. You need a gold colored fish.
A lot signs
see snakes layer ahead due to the murky water caution is the device for all who enter dangerous murky water ahead. Bingo Randy. Oh,
there’s a lot of signs. You went too far can’t reach that sun. Sorry the sign on the right was gonna say why
don’t you follow the sign directions? Seems like you don’t even need a gold colored fish. Definitely do it seems like you don’t even need a gold colored fish
fuck Alright, let’s see if we can find some fish fish me called scold fish does All right
well that’s Yeah fuck this place so that’s fucking dumb.
So we’re gonna move right on from here because stupid
so from here you head over to Pirates Cove all the way to Pirates Cove you find a treasure chest and in that treasure chest is a red rupee and you from here on make me make a note every time you get a red rupee. So yeah, I’m gonna have editing Chris. Every time I say you gotta read Ruby Badillo Ruby noise they’re like, Okay, that’s all I want from you.
I could do that. Yeah. So you gotta read Ruby? Hell yeah.
Oh, hell yeah. You sneak into the Pirate Cove,
which previously we had unveiled the entrance to last episode. Yep. And
inside of Pirates Cove is kind of like a lagoon in front of a fortress. And it’s clear that you’re not getting into the fortress in any way.
We got a bunch of pirates on boats, hot lady pirates and in your area in your area. And they’re kind of just doing circles around the perimeter of the lagoon. And they’ll catch you pretty quick. Yeah, you’re above water.
But you can sneak into the water of the lagoon and hide from any of the guards that are patrolling the lagoon waiting for you.
Yeah, pretty cool. So we go down.
Unknown Speaker 11:53
Now a lot of fish. Now,
it’s very lifeless ocean.
Well, they said like everything’s been dying because of the murky water. It’s gonna be teeming with life. And we solve the problems here.
I hope so.
When we got over here,
is this the pirate fork? Seems to be take a little walk with me and I’m walking.
I’m right behind you. Ah. Are you gonna be a sneaky Snake?
Snake his neck?
Or do you think you’re gonna get caught immediately? Yes.
Yes. And will they see me if I’m behind them? I don’t know. Go down. Go down. Go down. Go down.
That specialists going down. So you appear to be in the Pirate Cove now, don’t get caught.
I’m a sneaky snake.
So when you go down you find yet another red ruby? Hell yeah.
Got it. Um, but as you all there’s a bunch of treasures scattered around.
Yeah, they’re all red rubies. So you got another red ruby here?
but what you also find underwater is a whole bunch of memes Skelly fish that try to eat you don’t like them. You also find a couple of greats that seem like if you could just figure out how to open them, you could probably get in through the dreaming system.
So I’m at the bottom of what seems to be kind of a cavaney pool that the parents have set up in. Yeah, I’m at the bottom of the pool running around and the pirates are patrolling the top of the pond looking for me like fucking idiots. They’ll never catch me though.
I’ll catch you. Ah, reaction. What’s in here? Ah, you got some rupees. I’m not gonna write that down. What? You’re gonna write that down? Yes.
Oh, you found a big screw. Hey, talk about the game.
Ah, deadhead. That fish has passed
out. So stop. Showed him.
Yeah. Ah, got another red ruby.
Oh, man. It’s great. Yeah, right, right. Take that note.
It’s hidden in here is a good old fashioned wait switch. The typical condoms although where if you apply pressure to it, something happens, something happens. So this weight switch is not underwater. Actually. It’s up on the side of the water. So you have to kind of swim across the lagoon to get to the other side, from where you enter. And that’s where the weight is. You can kind of sneak up onto that without the guys noticing. put weight on it. You get a cutscene of a great opening into the fortress underwater can transform back into Zara. Dive into the water and swim inside. Easy peasy. Hell yeah. Pound it easy. I hear a timer. Gigi.
Oh, I hate how the mask.
Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. No problem. No problem. By the scuze me pardon
Pardon, Mr. Fish. Please. Mr. Fisher was my father’s name i how i Ah, I would I would just try to get in trying. I’m trying. I’m trying try to get in. If you can. That’s what I want for both of us today. Just get in. So the tunnel opens that the great was previously covering and you swim inside. And at this point, you see a school of golden fish. Oh, hell yeah. You need a goldfish to to get to pick a rock at some point. For some reason, Nick Bay. We spent a while trying to catch these fish that are uncatchable Yeah,
because as a czar you can stand in like walk on the bottom of the water. Underwater wherever. Yeah, and you can swing your bottle. Yeah, so it would stand to reason that I can swap up a facial thing my bottle.
Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no good. No, no fish. Ah, I found all the fish. Get a gold fish. Just putting this bug under water. Great, right. Have you got Ma’am, may I get that fish?
Give me Goddamnit goldfish. You are the chosen ones
is supposed to bring balance to the Force. There’s a couple of wood doors that prevent you from moving any further in this tunnel. But Chris figures out how to use his head. And by using his head. I mean, quite literally, he does the Zahra fish tackle. Be ahead and smashes his way through some wood. This is okay.
Oh gosh. Now fuck out. Nailed it. Fuck my fucking head. Oh, shit.
Are you okay?
Well, the way I open doors is by ramming into them. I definitely have numerous concussions.
Yeah, yeah, always do.
Are there any minds at this point? Or is that further?
Not yet right now. But what you do get at this point? It’s another red rupee. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Just choke. Um, so you come up against your first obstacle here, which is a very small maze made out of like cage doors and movable stone blocks. In the center of the maze is the treasure chests containing the red ruby, but your ability to get inside is hampered by your understanding of blocks blocks, because you are convinced that you need to drain the water from this area to turn into Goron to move the block for a little longer than I think you should be.
Yeah, yeah, a little longer than I’m proud to admit. I thought the blocks were too big for I don’t know if that’s the size. It’s too big for kid link.
I feel like you can move them as Kid link, but I don’t remember.
They seem big. They’re really big.
I couldn’t move them in real life.
Well, I’m remembering at Snowpeak Yeah, I thought those were too big. And that’s why you had to move them as a Goron. But I could be misremembering. Yeah.
I’m not sure I don’t remember if you can move any of the boxes kid link but
in my head, because you had to be a Goron and you couldn’t be kid link to move those blocks. I just assumed that Goron was strong block mover and that was a unique trait to the Goron
Yeah, and I was like, have you tried just moving the blocks as thorough and you’re like now stupid. You try it no works.
soars strong fish.
The strong lads the Zuora can intercede on what appears to be a real water temple of a time.
We’ll see how long we stay in here. It’s fair. Interesting. Oh, Chester. Ooh, some more fire from
WaterFire you gotta read Ruby. I’m making every note of red rubies for you. You got it? Looks real Maisie huh? You like mazes? You just were telling me not not too long ago was saying that you’re
saying I’m really good at maize
your absolute favorite stand on top of the treasure chest.
Alright, well, this isn’t where he go.
Can’t believe you on stand on the treasure chest.
Alright, so I need to lower the water because it looks like there’s blocks I can push underwater, but Gorons cannot swim. So I need to lower the water so I can push blocks as a Gora. Which Yeah, sounds like a temple time.
Are you sure you have to be a Goron
maybe not. These look like real big blocks
the ADA grab. Ha, you’re just strong Zara
and saris are way stronger than humans.
Yeah. Are you shocked at all
they’re the elfs of the sea.
Yeah. Now out that one looks like it needs to be pushed from the other side. You take some time move NuvaRing through this area, this maze because all the maze leads to when you get through it. Is this fan blowing like a jet of water up through. So it’s like essentially creating a current underwater, but it has these red flecks in it that look like fire. And it’s been a long time since I played this game up to this point at least. And I was like, I don’t remember but that looks a lot like fire and you had the same like inclination like if I step in that. I’m gonna get hurt. So we avoided it for a little bit and then finally, I think you just dived in. And no problem. No,
it surface me
It elevates you. What are we doing here?
What seems to be the problem here?
give that one a tug.
Yeah, this is what we call flicking around and finding out
okay, I’m here for it. Owl
flying through waters hard.
So now we go and give this one a tug.
Just a little tug.
And then what happens?
Then go back alright. So when you’re blasting through the water as his aura you naturally rise the makes it a lot harder to am
I also started naturally rising when I’m blast them. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it was easy. Oh, you made it. So it pushes you further into the pirates fortress. And at this point, you start noticing that there’s some booby traps in here.
Emphasis not on the booby but more on the traps
so there is a lot of sea mines see mines for those of you who aren’t familiar are usually these large spiked balls that when knocked into will explode
you’ll have to sit just some mines Yeah, some underwater mines they call it a mine
are you on fire?
No, it’s Oh, it’s a pushy.
It’s to show you the direction it’s going.
I see. All right, so
it’s not fire. It is in fact a tooltip it’s now as they call it your life could be much better could it Yeah. Life crystal
a matter of perspective.
I’m worried for you because of your navigation ability.
So I wonder if there are pirates in here whether I will get kicked all the way out or whether they fight me.
I’m sure you get kicked out.
Oh, look how happy I am to find that rupee. I
believe you got another red group. It’s filthy with rubies. Yeah.
It’s almost like it’s Pirate Cove. Alright, let’s get up here.
Trying to get it up. I think there’s a ramp around the side.
So I do my best to not knock into them. navigate my way through the boobies.
Yeah. So in this room, there is a locked cage with a heart container in it. And then there’s a ramp leading up to some barrels hidden behind the barrels is a another pressure switch. And then once you kind of make your way up onto that area around the barrels, you look over and you can see a crystal switch as well. So it’s all the crystal switches are typically ones that you can hit from far away with a projectile device. And they have some sort of effect. Cool. I think you gave the crystal switch the old flick just to see what it does. And you see that it opens up a gate leading further into the pirate fortress but that gate starts closing immediately as soon as you’re like it’ll rise up like a garage door and then once like it hits the top it it starts coming down again immediately. Also like a garage door also like a garage door. Also, could you imagine if you had to like raise the garage door in
my my garage door does not work very well.
You don’t put your car in it though. I do. You do? Yeah. Oh
my god, it’s such a nightmare. This is important for this episode. Yeah. So we have new neighbors, okay. And one person who is not new neighbor is renovating. Okay, something so they have a dumpster in their visitors or one of their spots and one of the visitor spots. They also have four cars themselves why and one garage Okay, and one spot for their car. So they’re taking up three spots right now. And the neighbor she just moved in. They just put it in the garage and have two cars right so they can put their spot in there. Chris that’s that’s many cars. Yeah, also kinda like the dog Yeah,
I think we have to me and my puppy cars.
I can imagine how we got so close to it. Yeah, so also the fucking dumpster has been there for like three weeks just get
it done that yeah, they cost money per day. It’s
full. Get it total I don’t know what’s happening. Chris.
This is this is intolerable. Yeah, no, I will not stand for this please. And I might have to drive through your neighborhood and cause a ruckus
go beat them up. I’m gonna egg their car.
I’m gonna spunk they’re spinning a spanking. Let’s get back to some fish talk. Yeah, yeah. So two things going on in here.
Pressure plate and you got your crystal button? Yes, well button just opens the door further to the fucking fortress which I don’t give a shit about because hey, there’s a big heart container
and I need hearts. You’re dangerously low on hearts constantly.
So the pressure plate when you step on that it opens the cage door. That It’s protecting the heart Tanner. Yeah, I know immediately what I have to do. You transform into Goron Gore on it up. Yeah, step on the plate. Roll yourself into a ball. Get their head head into a cage.
Yeah. This door also is on a timer, so we’ll close quickly. Yeah.
Which is why you gotta go on. Yeah. Oh, I could use that. How do we how do you think I could definitely use that? What do you think we need to do to get in there? The door doesn’t just open for me.
I’d like a heart. I’d like you to have a heart Goron smash Smash. They’re gonna be real confused as to how a Goron got in here. You can’t swim. You’re allergic to water. Oh, what have you seem to have found here? Oh,
button. Ah. Ah. There’s a getting better and better. Which over there. On the switch. Oh, fucker asked piece of garbage butts. All right, here we go. We’re going to do something that’s not going to work. Oh, God.
I know you’re gonna do you. Go on roll. Yeah, baby. Which is funny to me.
Well shit, right.
Chris. Funny mask, please. For the love of God. Absolutely not.
There’s only one way this can work. That’s fair. Yeah, okay. Unfortunately, this isn’t a prime location for Gorons. They sink in water. And the way back down to the cage is across a very narrow ledge
that is surrounded by water on both sides. Yeah.
I think I tried it twice. Yeah, they’re like, Dude.
So then you try to again, is human link just rolling, which is actually slower than running turns. And then finally, I was like, do you just put the bunny mask on? I forgot I had the bunny. Yeah. And I don’t even think you need it for this technically. But it helps. It helps. So you put those big ol ears on and booty yourself down there to get a heart piece. And this actually I think was your fourth heart container, wasn’t it?
I think it was my third actually was your third?
I think so. That makes sense. Yeah, because it just refilled your life. It didn’t add a new heart. Right. So you have three quarters of a new heart piece. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, we’d love to see it.
We also have one direction that we can go to progress further into the fortress.
Yeah. So you run back up to the top of the ramp after getting your heart piece. Flick that old switch and dive through. You’re great. Surrounded by mines also. Yeah, every time you dived into the water you came so close this one. I think you hit it like once or twice
twice. Yeah. Blue Ruby blue Ruby this time.
I’m not making note of it. It’s not important to know honey. No. I have to make a stand somewhere.
Oh, it doesn’t set the off. I don’t think it’s a bomb. I
think it’s a spiky Hurney. Oh,
them spiky hirjis Yeah, all right. Okay, I get it. Oh, those ones explode. I
was wrong. My apologies.
I was definitely hitting them earlier and they weren’t doing diddily diddily diddily diddily in Italy. You in the drink?
Oh you stressed me out? Why? I got it any sorry. It’s okay. I’m stressed. Stressed out
it’s a stressful time.
Go Nailed it. Nailed it. This temple is easy here. doozy This is not the water temple.
This temple is easy
inside this next area is a nother switch with a rocket that it causes to make happen essentially of water it cuts the water geyser geyser Yeah, thank you that’s the fucking word I can think of holy shit pretty close to rocket Yeah, so I’m in here is another switch that you can hit with like an arrow or orphans and it causes a jet of water to come from the ground and propel you up a level
What appears to be the top of a crystal that’s a choice. I don’t know if that’s the choice I would have made but Hello. Can I just do in that get blasted?
Elevator? So Chris is on a
Yeah, describe what’s happening. Yeah, for Chris
Chris is on top of a great and he has to shoot a crystal to turn the jet on underneath the grate to rock him up to another level. And that was perfect in every way. You get up a level and up here is a telescope overlooking basically the entirety of the fort. Hell yeah, that’s pretty cool. You use the telescope and kind of get a lay of what’s inside the Pirate fortress. Inside you see a kind of open courtyard with a tower in the center with a Giant Ladder leading up it and a fuck ton of Garuda pirates patrolling all around this area too. You, you can see that there are doors that lead off to other places and paths and bridges that lead to other doors and a new areas. I think at this point, you started getting a little bit of understanding that this is a little bit a little more complex bigger than you were hoping for.
At this point. It’s kind of hard to tell where I want to be going in the fortress. So what this mostly conveys is, hey, there’s still going to be a lot of pirates patrolling and you’re gonna have to avoid them the whole time.
Yeah, so aside from the telescope up here, there’s also a door that leads out into kind of the front part of the pirates fortress, like onto like a, I think they’re called like a balustrade or something. And like the it’s like, you know, where the like archers walk on in a castle like up on the ramparts. So you’re kind of like walking up there. And there’s only one other door that you can get into from here, if you don’t want to, like run through the courtyard. And that door is a nightmare. It’s actually listed on my notes as bad, bad door. Yeah, you owe this. So
let me let’s paint a word paints a word picture here. So when you enter this courtyard, there’s a bunch of patrolling pirates. But there’s also for some reason, a lot of like, kind of half walls. Yeah, that you can easily hide behind. Yeah, that are strewn about the strategically placed one might say, I would say yeah, and the half walls are all kind of surrounding the tower with the ladder that you can go up. But if you want to ignore that and not deal with the nightmare, that’s the petroleum pirates. You can kind of skirt around the outer edge of the courtyard and go straight into a door across from you. So that’s where we had and when you open the bad bad door, this is a pirate
just a guard that tells you everything you’re doing is wrong
this this guards job is to stare at this door presumably forever until it opens and then throw out whoever opened it. Yeah, as long as that person’s me
you get thrown out Yeah.
Boy, that means close.
Yeah, it’s pretty late on the second day right now.
Okay, this is gonna be a problem for me.
So Chris needs to avoid pirates.
So let’s just watch them for a moment yeah when their pattern because I assume I can’t fight them if I get caught they just go yeah there’s a couple pads I can take.
Unknown Speaker 32:24
PPP PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP, PPP. Boo Boo Boo Boo crushed it.
Ah, you appear to have made it up here now. Nice. Hell yeah. GG easy. Oh, no kidding me. Oh, okay. It doesn’t throw you all the way out. Bad pirates. Not good. Well, so that’s not a great place, huh?
Well, she was probably on patrol. But luckily, they don’t throw you out of the entire fortress.
Yeah, they throw you out into the lagoon, which is interesting. Yeah. Because it’s very easy to get back into
Yeah, so what this is flavor wise, because the further you go in the I understand how checkpoints work in video games. Yeah. So basically the further you make it into this fucking fortress, but not as far back they’ll throw you out. Yeah. Which means these pirates are like, I don’t want to Yeah, walk all the way back. Just someone else will deal with
it. They’re like I’m not unionized. Like I’m not paid enough for this ship. Fuck. It’s a little kid and a green hat. Yeah, what
are they gonna do?
So you backtrack your way back in. I did make a note that at this point you directly dive bombed onto one of those landmines? On the way back up through that’s fine. That’s it. And you find a different ladder. No, no,
we get back to the courtyard. Yeah, I’m like, Okay, well, I’m sure that guards like patrolling and I just hit at the like the worst possible time interval and they were or second time Yeah, I went there a second time.
Why did I not make a note of that?
I’m sure because you didn’t give a shit. That’s probably fair. So I go back to the door. I’m like nobody’s staring at the door they’re on a patrol route. And if I go in chances are pretty high that they’re not going to catch me again. Oh, fuck. Oh, God fuck ass.
I see. Bad door rosin. You have to go all the way around now right
so I think there’s two different kinds of mines
there’s shooting kinds of non shooting hands Yeah,
the ones that are not mines and the ones that are mines Yeah.
All right, so we’re background now
getting there. I can’t Oh,
cuz dive bombed onto a
would have been a lot worse. Fuck. Oh my god, blink. I need you to be better. Don’t go out nine times. We’ll take your look. If gonna go up to blow up, yeah. Make it back to the courtyard. And we say, hey, maybe that door is inaccessible for now. And we look at the tower in the middle Lenin’s got a big ladder. And that’s what everyone’s patrolling behind. So presumably, there’s some importance there. So I sneak a sneak my way. From half wall to half wall skirt and the pirates that are patrolling it’s not too bad. Yeah. And I climb my way up the water. There’s another pirate who’s just right there. They don’t see me though, because I’m sneaky. Yeah. And there’s also a long like rope bridge. Yeah, that connects to the kind of outer wall, which has more doors. Yeah. And if we run across the rope bridge, that’s where we can break in.
So up, up top, no good.
Up top. No, no.
I don’t think there’s a second door to the last two. Yeah. So I think you have two more options. You could try. You can try jumping to that other opening, which is seems very far. Seems very far. Or you could do an awful fucking maze avoidance of trying to get to the center of all of the guards. That’s what I’ve chosen. Chris is taking the guard path. Other side other side. Climb, climb, climb. Climb, Link. I’m amazed you that one go. Yeah, mate. Yeah. So from there, you gain access to a like balcony overlooking the like inner sanctum of the Garuda fort, the throne room, I would call Yeah, it’s definitely like a throne room. And in there, you’re introduced to the leader of the pirates. A woman named a veal, which is pretty cool. A veal is getting debriefed on a incident that occurred from the other pirates, and one pirate is telling her that they were attacked by sea snakes, and they dropped some of those Sora eggs that have been stolen. Holy shit. Cool. I’ve been waiting for you. And did you find the rest of the eggs? No. But what are you trying to pull here? If people hear the great pirates have lost their treasure? They still will become the laughingstock?
Yes, but they’ll the seas strangely murky where we were attacked by the sea snakes violence.
That’s why the source can’t send for any help. Now that the eggs are gone, the source should be frantically searching for them. If we don’t hurry the stories we’ll get to them before we do. There are four eggs here now. Go find the other three before the SU snakes eat them. Understood. Wait. The Zuora eggs are the only clue we have about that dragon cloud floating over the bay. If what that strange maths one says it’s true. God dammit,
And if we can get our hands on the treasure that lies sleeping in the temple and that dragon cloud, then we can spend the rest of our lives living the good life. So get a move on and go find them now. Just man
under understood. Excellent. Shenanigans.
So there’s four eggs in there. Okay.
Four eggs. 4x four eggs.
All right. What do we got here? Hear me out. Yeah. What do people usually go to great lengths to do with fish eggs? Aside from fertilize them? Caviar? Eat them? Yeah. So
eat them is definitely the second thing that people do after fertilize the fish.
Yes, yeah. Humans particularly. Yeah. So after you’re done fertilizing some eggs. I think I think we actually had a really long conversation and by really long I mean, it was like probably 30 seconds which is way too long for the conversation we had but it was do you think Zara are sturgeon or other fish because the matters on if we refer to their eggs from here on as caviar or row? Yeah, is there a sturgeon is caviar if there any other fish? It’s row. I think we decided on row because we can’t guarantee that they’re sturgeon.
Why is caviar specific to sturgeon?
It is the flavor I think of the egg is like the one that’s desired for caviar so it gets the special nice, because not all eggs taste the same, I guess. But the other ones all tastes I don’t know what the like why that’s the case. But I do know it’s why sturgeon are protected. And also, I don’t think you can pull them out of our lake. Although fun fact. Our sea monster here that we have in our lake is most likely a fucking massive sturgeon because I don’t know if you’ve seen how big these fuckers get started and are terrifying.
Yeah, anything water related is terrifying.
They’re huge fish though. And they’re like, they look like they have plate armor. They are fucking jacked, armored fish. And I’m just like, who looked at that and was like, I’m gonna take its eggs and eat them. Yeah,
I mean somebody who wanted power I guess so.
Yeah. Yeah, it’s like, like what how they used to like powdered like Tiger claws and stuff. to like feel like yeah like vitality. Yeah, definitely.
I can’t believe that we’re going to break into the Lake Champlain temple and beat the massive sturgeon boss.
Just cut to fucking Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger having Chris in an actual chokehold being like get away from the fish. Fucking can stupid. Oh, God, I’m so viel says, well, we need to protect the ones that are in here. We have four in here. And you know that I think someone told you at some point that they’re seven in total. So you know that okay, cool. The other three are probably out in SeeSnake land over by Pinnacle rock, but there’s four in here. You take a step back from the window and look around. And one thing we forgot to mention was a cutscene that occurs which a hornet like flies past your face and then flies through like these barred windows into a nest overlooking the Gredos. Kind of like, Hey, I’m here. Yeah. Chris looks at his bow. Looks at the Hornet’s Nest looks back at his bow. has an idea. What if I knock little Hornet nest down in amongst the pirates?
Oh, I got an idea.
It’s your idea. Talk to me.
I’m gonna see if it works.
Chris is going to Oh,
ah, welcome back. It’s been a little while.
We have a good view of their leadership from here. And I bet if you needed to you could shoot an arrow through these bars. Yeah, I was gonna try and shoot the Hornet’s Nest aren’t very good. So Chris has knocked the Hornet’s Nest down onto the leaders room.
Gotta. That’s terrific. Just the bit
crushed like girl yelling of pirates. You seem to have solved the problem.
Never was a problem.
If there’s one thing that we know about pirates, they don’t like being stung by Hornets. Yeah, that’s a classic pirate trope.
It’s the number one pirate fact. Yeah,
it’s like that then like you have a black flag called the Jolly Roger when the white skull on it. And then they say like ARNs Yeah, all that is underneath. Don’t like Hornets. Yeah.
So we shut down the Hornet nest and the pirates scream and they go running from the room.
Which Chris takes as a hey, I think I can probably get in there now. So you kind of backtrack a little bit to the bad bad door and the bad bad door is now unguarded? Yeah, hell yeah. You are able to go through the bed that door directly into the pirate’s throne room. Inside the Throne Room is a massive loveseat which I love instead of a throne. It’s just like a loveseat like couch. Playing Yeah, absolutely. Like that’s how you roll in style. And there’s a aquarium on the side. Inside that aquarium is a little orb. And next to that orb is a shelter that is definitely rabid shelter with teeth. Yeah, that is definitely rabbit. Yeah, not good. No. So you take a quick loop around the room. No one’s in here. No Hornets either, which is excellent.
Also, what I like about this room from this point forward is people never return No, never. So they left and we’re like well, ruling out that room that’s the Hornets now
done and dusted that they own that.
I’m like that mean when you see like a spider and people are like well, that’s the spider
bring the house down? Yeah, they’re literally setting fire to the pirates fortress from outside. Yeah, that’s where they are the whole time. canonically um, so you open the chest and you get your big dang item from this dungeon which is pretty excellent. And your big thing item from for this dungeon is the hook shot.
I really liked the hook shot. Yeah, hook shot might be top weapon for me.
Okay, well, well, it is. It is a weapon but it’s not a weapon. It’s
all about how you use it.
It’s very similar to a hammer where it’s not a weapon until it is a weapon. Yeah,
I think for me, it’s hookshot then bow. Yeah, that’s that’s they’re pretty close. But hook shots. Excellent. I
think historically, the long shot has always been my favorite item from the Zelda franchise. I don’t think that it makes an appearance in Majoris mask.
Is that different from the hook
shot? It is the adult hook shot or like the longer hook shot. It’s the one that has like the like crazy long distance and time
when you when you grow up and you get older and you’re an adult your shot becomes longer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that’s Yeah, that’s true.
Are you laughing listening? Why are you laughing? Because it’s just talking about things that happen
So anyway, enough about shooting ropes.
I never said shooting real penny. You think this is the room I want to be in?
I would take a gander at it.
Give me a GI Ah, you
found a big, big treasure chest in the leaders room. Done in in, in, in in in in in in in in in in me. Dan and in hookshot use it to grapple items so you can reel them in or pull yourself over to them. Press C to arm it then you As cars stick to the aim release, see the shoe nail it. So you got the hook shot. The hook shot allows you to cling to something far away. Typically as long as it’s made of wood or material that
typically if it’s made of wood and it’s very it’s intended to be clung to,
I was gonna say and it’s very clearly not an environment like a painted environment piece and it is something that is an active like asset on the screen.
softwood I presume?
Yeah, you can just just some maple and pine. No hardtack in here. Um, so you start looking above the fish tank and see what little what slob love it that you can grab onto and drop yourself into that fish tank. That’s what happens. That is what happens
shoot my hook shot. It pulls me up to the woods and I just fall directly into the aquarium.
So there’s a couple things in here. There’s a treasure chest as well in the aquarium. Yep. As well as rabbit shelter with teeth. Yep. And the OHRP Yeah, first problem is rabbit shelter attacks you immediately I try and ignore that problem for as long as I can. You will ignore it for far too long. That’s I think if I had to change one thing about how you play Zelda, it would be how much you are willing to like the lengths you’re willing to go to to avoid combat is just absurd.
To avoid combat. It’s just I have other other things that are catching my attention.
I can see why you play RPGs mostly. Yeah, they’re just a side they’re in a side it’s not all active all at once.
Majority Xmas survival horror rpg.
It is a survival horror game. I saw us trying to survive against the horror that was that rabbit shellfish. If nothing else, yeah, yeah. Would would. Ah, nailed it. Oh. Oh. Is that okay? No. So Chris just tried to get into a tank that’s in the leaders room. That’s seemingly full of shellfish that
are bad. Yeah. Spiky. They’re like the mimic of the shellfish world. Yeah. Shellfish with too many teeth.
I think you probably just need to murder the Goddamnit the bad thing.
Title. What is this?
Don’t tell me you don’t know about the shell blade. It’s impossible to beat if you aim for anything but it’s ligament inside the shell. Awful. So I eventually
You bunk the shellfish. I think you ended up figuring out that it’s easiest to do as a Zora because you kind of can sink to the bottom. And you open that treasure chest and you get a red rupee. Yeah. Excellent. You also grabbed the orb, which turns out to be a fish egg. You have to pick it up and put it in a bottle. This is important, because you only have three box three bottles. And there’s four eggs in here. Yeah. Ah, nailed it. And you got to repeat for your trouble. Can you get that aggression to
Could you please please like, please just work with me, Link?
He’s trying. Isn’t this Zara egg? I wonder how we can carry it? How can we carry it Chris?
We could start by picking it up. Fuck. Chris, you
have to be careful when you handle it. You want to bash it against the edges of a glass bottle instead of just carefully taking it up just shoving it in there. You put a Zara egg in a bottle. It doesn’t look very healthy. You’d better have someone examined it quick.
Are you doing, buddy?
Like I’m a fish. All right, I get it.
So if I didn’t have three bottles in here, would I have to make multiple trips?
I think they said there was four eggs in there. Hmm.
Boy, that means Close. Close. Close, close.
So after you finish up in this room, you leave the throne room and can start exploring other entrances at this point, you’re a little bit more in here. So you find a room that you haven’t previously explored. This is kind of an open chamber. This is off of the courtyard, inside this open chamber as you walk in. Pirate ninja just appears out of nowhere and is like clearly a mini boss. And she’s like, I’m gonna make you come or whatever she says. I don’t think that’s what it was. It’s pretty close. I definitely said something like, well, we’re playing and she beats the shit out of you. Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue, please support us at patreon.com/first encounter, find our socials and contact info at first encounter podcast.com Please stop by and say hey, our intro and outro music is by Alden Zach
I feel like usually when we’re together, we don’t manage each other. But we’re almost like a checks and balances system and how stupid we get as soon as you put any distance between us all of that. All the parts I feel
like we’re signal booster yeah there’s certain distance right it just makes it worse so also when we’re together I’m not usually doing Bhangra in the background
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