We break into Great Bay to find a corpse, try our hand at some FPS milk defense action, and FINALLY get into the milk bar for some finely aged milk.
❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript
Hey listener first encounters an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Michael,
Unknown Speaker 0:14
touchy, touchy, touchy to
me I want to feel Mikey if your name is Mike, reach out to us. Do we have any fans named Mike? I hope so somewhere. Yeah, I don’t know, that have reached out.
I would like one of our fans to be named Mike, please, please. This is what we call a Mic check. Nice. Very good. You struggled internally for a minute between is this good, or is this bad? Very good. Yeah.
Hey, I’m doing okay.
It’s getting colder.
It’s getting colder. The days are getting shorter. Every year,
November, it gets closer. And every year it gets a little bit colder. But Chris,
except one November gets further because it’s behind us. Breathe in, breathe
out. It’ll be okay. Breathe in, breathe out. The pain will pay the way. Thank you. I think that did it. Everyone should go listen to one step at a time. Bye for your strong. All right. Yeah. How you doing, buddy? Don’t okay. Yeah.
Love you too. But you know what, honey? What’s that snot about us now?
It’s about these patrons. Yeah.
Thank you so much for making this show happen. We couldn’t do it without you.
We’ve tried. It didn’t work. No, no, obediently. Yeah. Turns out, we can’t do this alone. We are all in this together.
So let’s give a x potion. Shout God to Josh. Joan. fumbling for in the almighty crit. Deadeye. Cody collabria. Brendon, Ben, and Alex. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We also couldn’t do this without our amazing wonderful mega potion tier members, aka the project says please. And those are wonderful people such as Dr. J. joined us in our last patron only stream to play Vermintide, which was a lot of fun. August also joined for our last patron only stream which also was Vermintide because it was the same game as what I’m trying to say.
Yeah, thank goodness because y’all know how we do streaming by our soy boy.
And not only are Dr. Jay and Agus are wonderful producers. We also have Denise who did not join us for our patron only stream. No.
Unknown Speaker 2:39
get your shit together.
That was your son that said that. Not me. No. Thanks, Mom. Also, let’s play Monopoly on patron only stream with your mom. Yeah, actually ask your mom what her favorite like border card game is. And we’ll we’ll play that with her on stream. Yeah,
we’ll do that. Actually. I like that. Yeah. Hey, if you’re not a member of our Patreon, consider joining, you can
go back and watch all of our streams that are always recorded and uploaded to Patreon. We also have a new live stream every month, every month, every month, so you can join in chit chat, we take game suggestions from our patrons. You get to suggest games and vote on them all Christians
court is done. There’s like 15 plus hours of content content in there. We
also have our directors commentaries that we do every month, which are hours of lot of hours. It’s me and Chris going back and re listening to the episode and talking over it. It’s a lot of fun. We got our Advent Children episodes coming out now. Yeah, we’ve got two of those out. There’s going to be at least one more. And then we’re covering the book on the way to smile. Ah, and I have that book right here. And I haven’t cracked it open to read yet. Yeah, we
gotta we got a lot of fun stuff going on.
There’s a lot we put a lot of time and effort and love into our Patreon and the content over there. So if you’re feeling like you’re just missing out on a little bit of first encounter, go to patreon.com/first encounter and sign up. Thank you. Before we get into today’s meaty potatoes as they say,
I need my Metis like my Wheaties but they’re meeting like that. Yeah,
I like that a lot over them. Yeah. We need to think just one more wonderful organization. And that’s uncommon VT.
Oh fuck. Tell me about them. There’s some pretty cool, they are really cool.
They make coffee bean juice. You say hot bean juice. So uncommon coffee is a wonderful local coffee shop that is ran by a awesome crew of people just flat out wonderful folk who decided it was a good idea for some reason to sponsor us. Yeah, I’m honestly amazed any of them still talk to us? Yeah, well, I
still won’t let them listen to us. That’s where
we blocked their IP from from listening to our RSS feed. Um, yeah, I’m calling abc.com Buy yourself some coffee. Use our code, Get Get, get 10% off your order. It’s awesome. You can also use it in real life. If you’re in Vermont, you can just go in the shop and say Good, good, and they’ll give you 10% off. uncom and vt.com. Beautiful, Chris. I think it’s time for us to as they say, Hang the dead fish.
Yeah, that means it’s gonna say it now.
Let’s open this sardine can. Yeah,
I guess. Okay,
let’s put some plug in Majoris mask
still opponents Yeah. And you’re right upon out out into termina field. And this is the first time you’ve gotten to really explore via horseback. How’s it feel
much better than running on my stubby to link legs?
That’s very true. How does horse riding compared to Gore on rolling?
I like it more. Honestly. Yeah. I like that the speed isn’t tied to your magic. Yeah. So I don’t like run out of anything. I can just keep keep plowing. Because essentially, essentially, she functions the same. Yeah, like you still run over enemies. You still tear up the grasses? You’re on throat so yeah, yeah, it’s just kind of a more consistent Goron role.
With one added bonus opponent can jump jet hops. She got them hops. Hey, girl. Christmas. Hey, girl, his horse. What is e pony?
It’s good horse.
That’s fucking horse right there.
Nice fucking horse.
If you try to run, Christmas tried to get on opponent as a Goron. And tattle says,
Unknown Speaker 6:40
if you try to ride the horse in that form. You’ll flatten the poor thing.
Unknown Speaker 6:44
You okay? I’m still trying to reconnect with the opponent. Yeah, emotionally. It’s
a bit of a struggle. Yeah, got it. Here we go.
That’s not how horses work. Please do not try to take a horse up a ramp.
God. Let’s make your
obstacles not go off ramps.
Therefore, it’s a ramp for jumping. Oh, God.
Chris was trying to take a bone off like a 30 foot drop. If honest ever again is your new does your new mountain bike. This is my new ride, doing 30 foot drops on your brand new mountain horse. So there’s two additional areas that Chris has never been able to access outside of terminal field. So we know to the north is no Head Mountain and the temple to the south is the swamp. And then to the east and west are the Great Bay and the mountains. Or actually the canyon. We’ll talk about that. Nora Nora now.
The canyon. Yeah,
it’s not it’s not for today. Well, actually, it kind of is for today. Could you try going on there for a second? Yeah. And then you just turned around and came back?
Yeah, there’s a wall. Yeah. too high for opponent. Yeah, I didn’t get cursed. But that’s okay.
Yeah. Bubbles are mean. Yeah. So you decided to fuck this place. I don’t want to be cursed. I don’t know what’s going on here. I’m gonna go have a real water temple at the time. That’s odd. I said. That’s what you’re thinking.
It’s really not.
You. You ride your horse on over to Great Bay and do a little jump. Yeah. And make your way down to the bay for the first time.
So if you remember previously, Great Bay is kind of the beachy area that has little Metroids that will attack you coming out of the sand. Yeah. And previously, there was a barrier that I couldn’t climb up. No, but this time I got a horse jumped right over it. No problem. Now we’re in the Greater Bay Area.
Yeah. So grippit coast. Hell yeah. You visited two places. First up the fisherman’s hut.
Welcome to Great Bay Coast.
Welcome. So Chris the first time you seen a new region a long damn time in this game?
Yeah. Well, that’s not true. last recording, I saw Romani Ranch for the first time.
Unknown Speaker 8:52
Was it just the first time last time
fisherman’s hut? Oh, what’s going on in here?
It’s uh, what the fuck are they called for your seahorses? Yes, the dragon.
Unknown Speaker 9:03
Does this look like
Binga? Yeah. Hey, what’s up, bro? Just got some cats. It’s pretty cool.
I’d like you to voice them.
Unknown Speaker 9:11
I’ve been catching fish in the seas for 30 years. It’s beautiful when it comes to catching fish and even better than the Zoras. And that’s what I’d like to be saying. Anyway, lately, the seawater has gotten really warm. hasn’t helped my fishing at all. And what’s worse, this water has gotten murky. So when I ship out, I always lose my way and somehow I end up back at shore. We fishermen and even the fish are in a real predicament. Come to think of it. There’s a Zara floating lifelessly out in the bay. What
the fuck so it’s the deads are out there. But there’s probably
Unknown Speaker 9:46
no helping him now. I mean, you could have done something. Fisher
haven’t been biting. The water is getting warm. And it’s getting murky and warming did the Yeah for real. And the fishermen and the fish are worse off for it. In fact, he says he’s pretty sure he saw dead Sora floating in the water. Yeah. And he was like it was probably too late to do anything for him now, so I just left him in the fucking Lake. Yeah, that’s where he lives now. Well, three dies now. Yeah, I’m sure that’s fine. That’s probably not important for worry about that another day. So you said fuck this guy. And you went into next house over? Because the Oceanside spider house talk to you about the spider house Chris
house? Is not what I would call it. It’s a cavern dungeon he kind of looking thing. Yeah. So you walk in and it’s just a big like, cave. Yeah, but there’s a wall with a crack in it. And you know, like when he sees the big crack. It’s got a it’s got a black float all over it. Yeah. So whipped out a bomb. Stuck it right there. Yeah, blew up in that crack. And there’s a secret tunnel. secret tunnel. Tunnel slide. Yeah, there’s kind of a slide. Yeah, it’s it’s it’s a slide five. Yeah. slid down it. Yeah.
But crawling around the slide our gold skull to us. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I think we’ve only seen previously in the spider family says
the swamp spider house. Yeah. So we’ve got the Oceanside spider house and the swamp spider house now.
Yeah, I assume this is their lake house though. I don’t think it’s two different families.
That’s fair. Oh, love it.
We’ve yet to see though because when you get to the bottom of the slide, the house it kind of looks like like a haunted house. Yeah, it’s
like very like, like Addams Family kind of family.
But it’s got a big gate around it. Can’t get in can’t get in. Yeah. Oh, slight.
what the fuck is this?
Oftentimes better house it looks like
I find a dungeon. Secret dungeon secret dungeon. Got a nice little front yard.
Yeah, it’s got a spider web gate that says no, you can’t get in.
Well, this was a weird little thing.
What else is going on here? Well, there should be a corpse in the water. All there’s some birds hovering over there. Do you think that’s okay? No. Vultures danger keep out swimming prohibited due to murky water?
It’s because you’re leaving corpses in the water. Where you going? Back to Romani Ranch,
I can rescue the corpse. Not today.
Unknown Speaker 12:27
That’s fair. So it’s time
to go back to the ranch though. We spent enough time here that Zora isn’t getting any more dead so it’ll still be there next time. We did notice though that there’s you can kind of see a shape in the water and birds like yeah, flying over it in a circle. Like very stereotypical like there’s a there’s a bunch of water corpse here. Yeah, that’s fine. That’s fine. We’ll deal with that later. But today is not about dead fish. today. It’s about alien guests.
So you right back to the to the ranch. And you meet up with Romani. And it’s alien time. This 2am After some running around. Yeah, we fucked around for a few minutes. I was just gonna I assumed it wasn’t gonna make the cut.
We’ll see what happens. Yeah. All right. I go onto the roof at 1.0. Yeah, yeah,
there’s nothing up there. You tried to Santa Claus though? Yeah, that’s fine. Often a mama’s house llama just killed
Unknown Speaker 13:23
the man. Where’s Mama Put a gun up to its head threw him in the live stream now he’s go carry
Well, Chris is now rating the ranch girls house
stop. I wanted to write the diary. So you know, you know when you try and read a dire and you climb up on a bureau and you say bureau? Yeah.
It’s another very commonly used term.
What are you talking about? Usually, I
Unknown Speaker 13:54
hear people talk about them
Well, this is actually neither of those things. Because it’s got
a vanity. Yeah, because it has a mirror. And then that’s a vanity. And then tools, entities. That’s a wardrobe because it opens like a closet and wardrobe. This is a wardrobe as well. There’s no beers to be seen. dressers for that matter. Yeah. Unreal.
Welcome to dresser talk.
This is where we learned the taxonomy of furniture. bedroom furniture. Yeah, for instance, you notice eight inches crosses. Do you think you’re going to succeed at the Mission tonight?
I’m a little concerned.
I’ve got it. But I’m hoping that you owe the sisters here now. Hello. She’s like, Can I help you?
Hey, Hey, pal. Fuck. Hey,
Unknown Speaker 14:40
that mask. Oh, that’s right. The town should be having its carnival soon.
So this is the sister mask. It’s
just my face.
Unknown Speaker 14:48
That mask. Oh, that’s right. The town should be having its carnival soon. But
the fucks your problem. That mass shot. Oh, that’s
Unknown Speaker 14:54
right. All right. Let’s go gamble with some dogs.
cuz I don’t think it’s open. What do you
Unknown Speaker 15:04
It’s Saturday night?
This farm is awful.
What do you mean? You know, the reason we have daylight savings hours is because farmers have to get up early, right?
It is early.
When alien time rolls around you mountain fauna, and you are in a similar situation to the mini game you were in earlier with the balloons, but this time, they’re ghosts. They’re relentless for about four hours of in game time. And they respond on like the balloons. So you kind of have to just ride a circle around the barn and the surrounding areas, shooting ghosts killing them and keeping them from abducting cattle for several hours.
Just a regular day. Yeah,
I mean, this is what I look for in my Zelda games. You know, cattle abduction, things like that. Yeah, you just started killing aliens did really well to kept it cool. You stayed on top of things. I man to the map.
Cool curses. What they call Yeah.
I have a good feeling about you. Defending the ranch from these aliens.
I thought you had a bad feeling.
No. They’re really fucking creepy. Yeah, so they’re all describing while you’re shooting. They’re these purple spirity ghost alien kind of like things that have giant glowing eyes that are like headlights because they have like, magic like lanterns coming down to them and they’re just unpleasant. Unpleasant to look at. Really?
Yeah. How long do these last four. Until morning?
Unknown Speaker 16:35
Oh, nice. Chris has got a two for one double kill.
You’re a pro gamer. It’s true. behind the barn behind the barn. I’m Chris’s map Guy. Guy guy guy with the with the chair. Not guy in the chat, but just the guy with a charity the
guy in the map. How do I fucking I need a horse upgrade?
daylight comes the ghosts aliens burn up in the sunlight. Like it’s like vampires. Yeah, I was gonna say just like your favorite vampire does. Or ogres turn to stone right?
Trolls. Ogres are like onions.
I want to go to a Shrek party.
Unknown Speaker 17:14
You’re gonna be my new donkey.
So that’s fun. Great success. Awesome. You talk to you Romani. And she’s like, hell yeah. My sister is going to be up in a few minutes. But thank you so much. I’m gonna give you milk. Here you go here jar Mills got
a jar of milk.
I have never successfully defended the farm. Not once. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 17:40
She’s carrying it.
Oh my god. Upon as glitched in middle of Romani. That’s a nightmare. We did it. We won. But at what cost?
Thank you. Thanks to you. The cows are giving thanks to us Romanies. Thanks when you drink it. Put your hand on your hip and take a big gulp like we do here at the ranch.
You got a milk bottle. One quick gulp will have you feeling great. You see to take a drink tell you you’ll recover five hearts per gold. This bottle contains two gulps when it’s empty. recycle the bottle.
It’s almost time for my sister to get up. So I have to get back to bed. See you later. Little hero.
Oh, you help the ranch girl and save the cows. This was added to your notebook. She goes to bed. And then 20 minutes later, everyone wakes up again. And you found them them being Romani and her mysterious older sister who has been absent up to this point in the barn. So Camilla says that she’s going to be traveling into town at 6pm That night with her milk delivery. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Camilla asks you if you want to attend with her to come back to the ranch at 6pm Let’s fuck around for the day, Chris? Yeah, what the fuck do we do? Chris decides immediately go over back to mama Moo yawns dog racing track, and spends all right, that’s why I don’t remember 100 rupees trying to figure out why he can’t win the dog race
track. At least I figured it out though.
Unknown Speaker 19:13
Did you? What is it? Why can’t you win? If you pick a dog, then it’s going to be one of the dogs you don’t pick that wins. That’s not consistent. It’s what I’ve said here. Now it’s fair. You have not won. So
this red one seems pretty chipper. Right?
By what are you doing to my dogs put the dog down and step away from the kennel. You have to talk to her first. Sit there.
This is Mama. Mama mom yo yawns doggy racetrack. I found my dog. This is the fastest dog in the world. Stop throwing it link. Dog.
What a nightmare.
Why are you spanked? I’m doing so bad every time. I thought I picked a good one this
son has to say,
Well, the good thing I took out 160 rupees. Yeah, how
much did you bet 20
I just want to win ones I don’t really give a shit. Jesus Christ was that was a poor showing. Yeah.
Which dog? Yeah, we’re going for now. Not that one. Right. You’re Beelining towards that one but I don’t know, man. What else is going on here? Talk me through your your decision making process right now. I’m just looking at what now? Yeah, at a doggy race crack. Just kind of eyeing up. There’s about I don’t know, 20 dogs or so? Yeah, because I end up all of them. They’re all like little terrier things like Scottish terriers of various colors. So what are we feeling like? What’s what’s what’s the field that you’re getting the vibe?
Well, I’m trying to go for the ones that are like most active right? I mean, you told me Yeah, I’m just I’m looking at their activity level. Okay, there’s a bunch. They’re just barking at nothing. I guess that’s dog.
I was gonna say are you just not familiar with dogs? Dude? I’m gonna try this speech. Which I’m just like this off white? Yeah.
All right. Better start than usual.
All right. Good. Show him good show him
could be a better showing. So my dog came in
Unknown Speaker 21:26
dead last this time. Oh, excellent. That was a bad choice. Are my
dog so bad though? Like you think just even if I was just picking randomly
again I don’t know how much to tell you we’re not going I don’t want you to tell me anything. All right. All right, Chris. Go in for a cream colored dog. Is this the doggy
take my doggy 20 rupees so
you have 200 rupees that yes will be 100
All right I’m on the outside now right
it’s in the middle middle of the pack. fallen behind the fallen behind getting slower. Damn. Wow Well, she Are you dead last? Ah, Mr. dead last? No, no. Yeah. Moving up in the world.
We’re all about continuous improvement here at first encounter podcast. I’d say so. Blue Dog. Blue Dog. Blue Dog Doggy fine.
It’s fine. Come on blue balls. Blue balls is doing okay. He’s doing okay. He’s fallen behind.
Maybe he’ll pull through though. Maybe come on baby boy on getting the top three at least should give Chris something to live for really? Who he really fell behind holy chapped. Drop. Wow. All right, God Damn, man. I
thought that was it.
Yeah, I thought you had thought you had one. Fuck. Bad choice.
I’m leaving. Splice is bad. This is a scam?
Probably. What? What else are you going to do?
Well, I only have two hours. Yeah. So not a whole heck of a lot. I guess.
What do you think you’re gonna have to do to? Or what do you think the 6pm McFlurry is going to be like,
I know what I’d like it to be.
Yeah, something’s going on there. I don’t know what. Maybe we’ll figure it out. Maybe we want yeah, maybe who’s to say I’m trivializing this, but this really was the majority of the day was Chris doing this. Eventually, though, after 100 rupees later, that’s fine. Chris, is literally what you did from 6am to 6pm.
That’s fine. I got the money. I’m good for it. heads back
over to the Ranch House at 6pm meets up with Camilla and she’s not in the wagon. She’s in a wagon that’s pulled by a donkey and she’s got to get this milk to town. So she tells you to write in the back and she’s like, Hey, it’s been a little dicey. Sometimes when I go through here, if you see any trouble, just you know, just take him down, take him down. And then she starts telling you her life story as she drives out of the ranch. It was hard to catch this because moves wicked fast. And I didn’t retain any of it because I was trying to read to keep up with it. But essentially She says that her I think her father died a long time ago. She’s been trying to keep up with the ranch and it’s just been getting harder because it’s been harder and harder for her deliver milk and milk is expensive and she’s just kind of fallen on some hard times.
Unknown Speaker 24:42
I guess it’s been a while now since her father died trying to take care of the ranch. But things have been unstable lately. The cows always seem bothered and frazzled and I’m finding broken bottles everywhere but I don’t know who’s doing it. My sister Romani has been worried too. She’s practicing using a bow she says this The stop the ghosts. Say what are the Tom spoke saying about that moon it’s bigger than before isn’t it
when you have to sync the dialog boxes to the yeah animation
Unknown Speaker 25:06
in town I have a friend named and you onto the day after tomorrow it’s her wedding.
God these are fast I like the woods steering wheel.
Unknown Speaker 25:14
I wonder if it will fall that thing.
I still always forget that the moon has gums
Yeah, that’s fine. has internal organs I’m sure you get outside of the ranch back to milk bread and milk roads gated off now the fuck? So you have to take a separate road that goes past the Garmin brothers racetrack to be fine. They’re upstanding folk. I love that as you go through here she’s like, not only is the milk gonna be late, but now we have to go through ugly country, because there’s like billboards of the Gorman’s faces like all over as we’re going through Gorman country. She’s like, hey, why don’t you get your bow and climb in the back and if anyone tries to sneak up and break the milk, let them have it. Immediately two dudes on horseback start riding at you wearing masks screaming and trying to break the milk. Chris, talk to me.
Unknown Speaker 26:03
I mean, it’s clearly Garmin and Garmin, Chris I don’t know how you have as to be any. It has an inkling
or indication that they would be trying to do so we’re just in their backyard. Why would they do that though? What’s the motivation? They got their own milk business.
They’re competing with us.
Is that how healthy businesses work? Yeah, road robbery. I’m just trying to I’m imagining like Blue Bonnet like shooting down hood like trucks. Booth brothers or dad. Kimball bra Brooke. I know milk brands. I don’t know why. That’s fine. I don’t like milk. It hurts my tummy. Good evening. She has a donkey horse that’s a donkey. Sure.
Unknown Speaker 26:43
I’m going to town now to deliver milk. Would you like a ride? That’s great. Tonight I’m kind of lonely.
I welcome company. Well, here we are milk delivery.
Do I get a Romani mask or something?
Unknown Speaker 26:58
The road boy get your boy you ready? Boy. Get your bow ready,
boy. Boy. I gotta take that road less traveled. I see.
Ah, no. We’re gonna
Unknown Speaker 27:11
slug. And now we have to take this detour through ugly country. Are you ready, Billy? I’m going to try to get us through here as fast as I can. I have a fucking name. If any pursuers come from behind chase them off with your arrows. They may be after my cargo of milk bottles.
What a weird world.
Unknown Speaker 27:30
Do you understand? Yeah, got it. Thanks. I’m relying on you. If we can get through here. I’ll have a big thanks for you.
Can’t believe the milk is delivering twice tonight. Ah, these seem terrifying.
Got pitchforks. Hi. Yeah, so this is definitely the brothers. Why do you say that Chris?
So wait a minute, two brothers are attacking Chris in the back of a wagon to two men on horses masked men on horses with pitchforks. They’re yelling a lot at him. But they’re breaking the milk now.
Unknown Speaker 28:00
Die rice die.
They did break two of the two of the milk jugs but
I filled them with arrows like filled
the JUGS era you shot them so many times. They should be dead. Yeah, yeah. 20 times over easy, easy. Nice thing about this though, is you have unlimited arrows, which is pretty cool. So eventually you realize that you can just let him fog and have it which made it a lot easier. Eventually, you get to click down. And Camilla super grateful for you. She’s like, Hey, thank you so much. I love everything that you do and stand for. I don’t have a lot to give you. But I have this mask and she gives you the Romani mask, which is just a little towel. The cow is a cow hood. That signifies you as a member of the milk bar, which is something Chris has been striving to get for a long time now. She also says that it signifies you as an adult. She recognizes you as a grownup now cool fucking
gray. Love it. It’s very triumphant music for what just happened? Yeah.
Some milk bottles got broken, but in the end, we’re okay. I was just
Unknown Speaker 29:07
smiling. Mr. Brighton was happy to get his first delivery in quite a while. Thank you. You’re pretty cool.
I am pretty cool.
Unknown Speaker 29:15
This isn’t very big, but except my thanks. Remember. She
said it was gonna be a big thanks. Oh hell yeah. You got Romanies mask where it was see to show you’re a member of the exclusive Milk Bar latte. So the Romani mask is just a cow. Yeah, well, I don’t know what you expected. Honestly, I have okay. Do you want to hang out wearing this mask? Drinking milk in a bar though?
Yeah, kinda. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 29:39
By doing one good deed a child becomes an adult. So what I heard that mask is only given to a limited number of adult customers. It’s proof of membership.
What about my sword?
I now acknowledged as being an adult. You guarded the milk ranches milk wait ranches milk. This is added to your notebook that was hard for me because ranch and milk like buttermilk ranch. Yeah, okay, but milk branch.
Unknown Speaker 30:00
Yeah, that’s my call. Yeah. Well,
you did a whole bunch of stuff on Romani Ranch, Chris,
what a weird.
What a weird everything I’m gonna give you. One more. One more thing if you want to do one more thing.
P first. Is that thing Pn? Yes. Okay,
cool. So Chris heads into the milk bar and only the owners there. Oh, she also gives. No, you bought the Chateau Romani. We’ll get there. Okay. So Chris goes into the milk bar, but it’s closed right now. It’s like a PM. He talks to the owner, Mr. Barton is the owner’s name. And Mr. Burns like, Hey, I see you’re a member. That’s awesome. We don’t open until 10. If you’re just like here to chill, like, that’s fine, but like, I’m not serving till then. So get the fuck out. Unless you’re just here to chat. What, uh, what are you going to do next? So you’ve defended the milk. You’ve milked the ranch?
We’ll go check out the bar. Ah,
excellent. Oh, you’re right there. That’s convenient.
All right. Let’s see what’s going on with how now cow mask?
Yeah. All right. Cow mask. This is what adults do. I don’t know what to expect. This is what adults do.
This is what adults were to their secret parties. Yeah, you’re gonna go in? Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 31:18
Yeah, you know, I
am. Milk Bar.
Hey, man. Are you closer to? Yeah. Oh, yes.
You are a member. I’m sorry. But the bar opens at 10 o’clock at night. I’m getting things ready. Now. You just want to talk. I’ll let you stay. But you want to talk about I don’t think I need to explain this to a member but we’re called the milk bar. We serve the milk of the night. Oh, our most popular of course is Chateau Romani. It’s a vintage milk. Eel. Cheese. Yeah, it comes from Romani Ranch and the current price is 200 rupees. You’re not surprised. Whoa, depends on who you ask. But there are those who consider this milk as a source of magic power takes just one gulp they say it’s expensive, but thankfully it’s the one we see are the most. Last night we got some fresh milk in the fridge for the first time in quite a while. But that mood. Alright, regular customers have all fled, so there really isn’t any good news.
There’s a weird fucking place.
Welcome to the milk bar.
This is a weird fucking place.
Do you like the milk bar? Yeah, it’s okay. So from here, you decided to burn some time by playing some more minigames and Corktown Yeah, headed over immediately. It’s a honey and darling shop and decided to play basketball.
They’re still they’re doing their thing.
They’re still sucking face on they’re spinning platform. They’re fine. Dale having to throw bombs in the baskets along the wall. Except this time. You immediately jump off the edge. You fail the game. Yeah. The next one though. You throw two bombs in the basket. Nailed it. Then Then jump off. Yeah, but as you always say Chris Third time’s the charm.
Unknown Speaker 32:55
I do say and you got a fucking perfect score. I
mean the word perfect flew up on the screen. I’ve never even seen that before. I took a picture of it. It was pretty hot. But again, I’ll text it to you if you reach out to my personal cell phone at
not not cheese that’s not that’s not right. But nope, doesn’t turn into cheese as ages. No,
I mean it’s all of it Butter really? Butter but you have to like add friction to butter but like it’s it’s all like aged but usually you turn something into cheese and then age the cheese.
What a fucked up world we live in Hani Oh, would
Unknown Speaker 33:35
you like to play
today is basket bomb day isn’t it darling? One game is 10 rupees. Get a bomb inside every basket and the time it takes us to dance through one song.
Unknown Speaker 33:47
If you throw with too much power you’ll fall off this platform so be careful right darling.
Unknown Speaker 33:52
Are you ready to start the music? Ah,
nice. Nice. Do better. Fuck do better. Oh,
I was trying to dunk it nailed it. Come on baby.
Unknown Speaker 34:08
Nailed it. But my fire
Unknown Speaker 34:11
nailed on zombie. Oh,
have you ever seen a perfect before? Wait. Hell yeah, hell yeah.
Unknown Speaker 34:23
Did you see that? Honey? He got a perfect score.
Unknown Speaker 34:26
We have to share happiness.
That’s okay. Actually also
Ah hell yeah, you got to purple rupee. It’s worth 50 rupees beaming
that’s annoying so let’s show off even more for him. Yeah, okay.
I don’t say this is a peep show now. Well
crossed off my list.
I like to watch Yeah, fuck imperfect very cool. They gave you a silver rupee I think that’s fine or purple rupee.
I don’t remember why they give me money. Give
me money. You seem kind of like mad about it. Yeah.
Like I don’t really care about money. It’s kind of infinite. Yeah, it’s it’s fine. They were pretty unhappy though. Yeah, they
were really really shitty. They weren’t good players. They said something about like, they’re still gonna, like show off for him or something and then like, start making out harder, which was weird. Like, that’s fine, I guess. Okay, I don’t want it. So at this point, though, the Milk Bar is open. So let’s pop over there and see what’s going on. Let’s wet our whistle. So there’s two patrons of the milk bar and the bartender, Chris makes his way over to the bartender first, the owner Mr. Barton, to ask about some some talking. doesn’t really have much to say
no, he talks up some of the milk Vega Yeah, real fancy milk.
He’s really excited about having Chateau Romani again, which is milk that they charge 200 rupees for Yeah,
because it’s been aged heavy. Yeah, it’s finally aged. They’ll say it’s vintage,
which is not my favorite thing I’ve heard. Chris has 180 rupees at this point and thinks Oh, I gotta get me some of that gotta try that milk runs over to the bank real fast withdraws 20 rupees and runs back there’s a $4 or four rupee surcharge to yeah, there’s the service fee after hours, which I think is very funny. So dumb, so good. Chris slams 200 rupees down on the counter as he runs in sweating and the guy says sorry there’s a members only barking please take the bunny hat off and put your Romani mask on it’s the rules which is funny because not as I looked around the fucking hood on love it. So Chris puts his his cowboy hat back on and then he’s like, I fucking give me the $200 Milk. Welcome, please show proof of membership. Come on, Chris. You can’t just walk in not wearing your society. I’m ready for the orange you are a member please come in. Do you cow mask orgy that’s my new band name. Yeah, okay. Claude is people in here
Wow look at all this wow what a what a
what a crowd. You didn’t say like no one was coming in place. Welcome. Speak to the shopkeeper we’ve got some good milkins Tonight Would you like some Romani for your final Moon New Moon viewing?
Yeah, I’ll have a drink.
What will it be? regular milk 20 rupees Chateau Romani 200 rupees nothing but the problem here.
I’m gonna go grab 20 rupees.
Sir, it’s the rules. Please wear your mask inside.
So strict. Wait
a minute, no one else. You’re the only you’re the only person wearing a mask. Your bottle was filled the Chateau Romani trinkets replenish all your magic power. There you go.
Wait, that’s it? Yep. 200 rupees for that.
The drink even improves your stamina, swirl it around with your tongue to enjoy its flavor to the fullest.
I was hoping it would like increase my magic bar Goddamnit
you got $200 of milk?
Chateau Romani is a really cool powerup. Where when you drink it, it fills your life and your magic, but also gives you the bonus of having unlimited magic for the remainder of the current three days cycle. You’re in. Pretty good. Pretty good.
Here’s the problem. Yeah. I just spent 200 bucks on this milk. And it’s the night
of day two. End of Day two. Yeah. So you have one day to use to make it useful. Or you lose it. Chug that milk tomorrow. Yeah. Some nice high milk. Yeah. Hopefully it’s sunny and warm that day to God. That’s fine. We got some milk now.
Yeah, pretty cool.
The other guy in the bar is Garmin. We know Garmin. We’ve met him. We’ve talked to him before. He’s sad. He’s drinking milk and drunk. It says like, can you get drunk off milk IQ? No, you can’t. You’re probably lactose intolerant. And that’s like a severe allergic reaction. Please stay safe. But he’ll be alright. I’m sure. Probably not. No, no, not at all. Then finally Chris’s favorite character turno are the friends lately. So tell you right my roommate remember is the Zora band manager that usually is hanging out with Madame aroma in her office discussing how the diva of the Indiegogo has this aura band is going through something don’t really know what and can’t perform.
So what’s your voice?
Was that it? Yeah. Oh, excellent. So because she can’t perform the Indiegogo has dropped out from the carnival, which means that there’s no need for a performance which downstream removes the carbon troupe from being able to perform at the carnival time. Todo is really bummed out about this still, but he says this is supposed to be one of the best live music venues referring to the latte bar. And I really just love to hear a soundcheck you know, even if even if we’re not playing now, at least for next time. I’ll have it. Yeah, see if you can help out.
Alright, what’s going on?
Unknown Speaker 39:33
Hey, you milk. Okay? It’s milk.
Can you get tipsy from something like milk?
You seem like you’re doing okay. Yeah, he’s
Unknown Speaker 39:48
We were scheduled to do a show but it got canceled. This place has a reputation for being a great live venue, so it’s a stain. I’d like to do a soundcheck though. I just want to see what it would have been like Hey, you. Could you help me with a performance? Yeah. Okay. You play the ocarina, right? Got scanned on there. Senator spotlight.
You’re very wet did pop up on that stage. He’s like, Hey, I see you got a ocarina. What are you saying over there and took me a tune,
and he tells you to play it like this. He gives you like four bars, little pieces of a song, some hot little number, and I took it out.
He’s like, talk sounds great.
I love it. Garmin though, is like that racket. Sounds like shit. Kill yourself. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 40:32
fuck. All right, Jesus. Okay, guys, you’re
not happy. Chris fumbles around for a little bit, trying to figure out what to do next.
Well, I hop off the stage and I talk to Gorman, that rude boy, and he kind of just unloads a lot of his life on us. Like to hear someone different.
Unknown Speaker 40:49
Don’t look at me. Anyway,
I’m just the dispatch. Second Son, II.
Unknown Speaker 40:55
I can’t handle horses like my older brother.
I can’t take care of horses like my younger brother. I left the ranch came to know the world of showbusiness travelled around but for what? For nothing. Oh, I just had to enter the world of entertainment deny it’s cold.
Unknown Speaker 41:11
Ah, calm sound.
Unknown Speaker 41:16
I can’t feel you’re there.
All right, getting some context.
How are we fine, we’ll figure it out. We’ll
come back to him.
So Chris checks his bomber notebook at this point and realizes that now’s the time for both Gorman and Toto who are members of the notebook to be helped. So Chris kind of starts just relentlessly
fucking around and finding out on that stage.
Unknown Speaker 41:41
What did you find out?
Well, how’d you like hey, Gorman seems down. Maybe I should play the song of healing and heal his heart. He ignored me. So that’s a no go. Maybe next time? Yeah, I’ll try again. So then I thought, Well, maybe if I talk to Toto, and he puts me back up on that stage in the lights, maybe then I can play that. It’s gonna make you a star baby. Yeah, please. No play the song of healing up there. And I can’t toto is like what the fuck are you playing? Play it right? Play what? I played this one. So that’s no good. But Henny reminded me that I have more than one instrument. Yeah, I got the ocarina. Yeah, I got my voice. Yeah, I got my dance moves. My drums. Big Bongo booty. Yeah, yeah. And I got my fucking whatever they scrub does that really grating one?
That’s the pipes. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
So when I swap my masks, I can talk to toto as a Goron. It’ll be like, Oh, you got drums. I can talk to him as a scribe, and it’ll be like, Whoa, you got pipes. And depending on which instrument you have, He’ll put you in a different spotlight on the stage. And he’ll give you a different tune to play. Yeah. And then as you play these tunes, you can kind of see overlaid the previous licks you’ve played.
Yeah. The music venue. Make make good music. Crisco
tried to get better.
Not a not a fan of the ocarina. But I
can’t turn into anything else in here. They’re gonna kick me out. Because I can’t wear my my mask of cackle my beef mask.
I mean, if they if they kick you out, you can just put it back on and come right back in no big deal. And I guess I picked a scab on my thumb from canoeing the other day and I’m bleeding now.
Unknown Speaker 43:33
I’ll play your part to like this.
Pipes are real loud, huh?
Honestly, this is all real raggedy, it’s not good. What do you think it’s missing? Hopefully a piano. I want to whip out a piano. So it’s kind of coming together as an ensemble.
Yeah. Of link of link. The for for swords adventure? Yes, yes.
Unfortunately, there’s still light that I don’t have an instrument for now. Which means I probably need one more mask. What do you think
that mask is me?
I assume Zuora All right.
It’s a fair assumption to make,
I would assume. Yeah. Now I gotta ask the question. I hope it’s seahorse instead. But
be cool. Yeah. So say you turn into his aura. Yeah. EZLink Sure. Get his aura mask somehow. I’m sure it won’t be horrifying to figure it out. How
won’t be a problem?
What’s your instrument going to be? Do you think?
So we got drums. We got pipes. And ocarina all instruments that are commonly go together for those bands. Yeah. I think keyboard would be sweet. All right. I mean, there’s guitar there’s bass. There’s, I hope it’s the triangle. That would be ideal for me.
What um, what would be the worst one for you? Like if Like not like the worst instrument but like what would be like the lamest cop out for you
the harmonica? Yeah, it’d
be really annoying. Yeah, that’s fair. All right. Join us some time to see well Chris get another mask who knows?
Yeah. Will it be the the fucking Zara or is it gonna be a seahorse? Will I get a pouch to keep my young in? Or will it be Fishman?
Unknown Speaker 45:26
well, Sarah Fishman you get to fertilize eggs.
Thanks so much for listening. We’ll see you next time.
Bye do leave us a review.
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