Haney 0:05
Hey listener first encounters an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Michael,

Unknown Speaker 0:14
touchy, touchy, touchy to

Chris 0:16
me I want to feel Mikey if your name is Mike, reach out to us. Do we have any fans named Mike? I hope so somewhere. Yeah, I don’t know, that have reached out.

Haney 0:26
I would like one of our fans to be named Mike, please, please. This is what we call a Mic check. Nice. Very good. You struggled internally for a minute between is this good, or is this bad? Very good. Yeah.

Chris 0:43
Hey, I’m doing okay.

Haney 0:45
It’s getting colder.

Chris 0:47
It’s getting colder. The days are getting shorter. Every year,

Haney 0:51
November, it gets closer. And every year it gets a little bit colder. But Chris,

Chris 0:55
except one November gets further because it’s behind us. Breathe in, breathe

Haney 1:00
out. It’ll be okay. Breathe in, breathe out. The pain will pay the way. Thank you. I think that did it. Everyone should go listen to one step at a time. Bye for your strong. All right. Yeah. How you doing, buddy? Don’t okay. Yeah.

Chris 1:20
Love you too. But you know what, honey? What’s that snot about us now?

Haney 1:23
It’s about these patrons. Yeah.

Chris 1:25
Thank you so much for making this show happen. We couldn’t do it without you.

Haney 1:31
We’ve tried. It didn’t work. No, no, obediently. Yeah. Turns out, we can’t do this alone. We are all in this together.

Chris 1:40
So let’s give a x potion. Shout God to Josh. Joan. fumbling for in the almighty crit. Deadeye. Cody collabria. Brendon, Ben, and Alex. Thank you so much.

Haney 1:54
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We also couldn’t do this without our amazing wonderful mega potion tier members, aka the project says please. And those are wonderful people such as Dr. J. joined us in our last patron only stream to play Vermintide, which was a lot of fun. August also joined for our last patron only stream which also was Vermintide because it was the same game as what I’m trying to say.

Chris 2:22
Yeah, thank goodness because y’all know how we do streaming by our soy boy.

Haney 2:29
And not only are Dr. Jay and Agus are wonderful producers. We also have Denise who did not join us for our patron only stream. No.

Unknown Speaker 2:39
Denise,

Chris 2:40
get your shit together.

Haney 2:42
That was your son that said that. Not me. No. Thanks, Mom. Also, let’s play Monopoly on patron only stream with your mom. Yeah, actually ask your mom what her favorite like border card game is. And we’ll we’ll play that with her on stream. Yeah,

Chris 2:55
we’ll do that. Actually. I like that. Yeah. Hey, if you’re not a member of our Patreon, consider joining, you can

Haney 3:04
go back and watch all of our streams that are always recorded and uploaded to Patreon. We also have a new live stream every month, every month, every month, so you can join in chit chat, we take game suggestions from our patrons. You get to suggest games and vote on them all Christians

Chris 3:21
court is done. There’s like 15 plus hours of content content in there. We

Haney 3:27
also have our directors commentaries that we do every month, which are hours of lot of hours. It’s me and Chris going back and re listening to the episode and talking over it. It’s a lot of fun. We got our Advent Children episodes coming out now. Yeah, we’ve got two of those out. There’s going to be at least one more. And then we’re covering the book on the way to smile. Ah, and I have that book right here. And I haven’t cracked it open to read yet. Yeah, we

Chris 3:50
gotta we got a lot of fun stuff going on.

Haney 3:52
There’s a lot we put a lot of time and effort and love into our Patreon and the content over there. So if you’re feeling like you’re just missing out on a little bit of first encounter, go to patreon.com/first encounter and sign up. Thank you. Before we get into today’s meaty potatoes as they say,

Chris 4:10
I need my Metis like my Wheaties but they’re meeting like that. Yeah,

Haney 4:14
I like that a lot over them. Yeah. We need to think just one more wonderful organization. And that’s uncommon VT.

Chris 4:23
Oh fuck. Tell me about them. There’s some pretty cool, they are really cool.

Haney 4:26
They make coffee bean juice. You say hot bean juice. So uncommon coffee is a wonderful local coffee shop that is ran by a awesome crew of people just flat out wonderful folk who decided it was a good idea for some reason to sponsor us. Yeah, I’m honestly amazed any of them still talk to us? Yeah, well, I

Chris 4:47
still won’t let them listen to us. That’s where

Haney 4:50
we blocked their IP from from listening to our RSS feed. Um, yeah, I’m calling abc.com Buy yourself some coffee. Use our code, Get Get, get 10% off your order. It’s awesome. You can also use it in real life. If you’re in Vermont, you can just go in the shop and say Good, good, and they’ll give you 10% off. uncom and vt.com. Beautiful, Chris. I think it’s time for us to as they say, Hang the dead fish.

Chris 5:16
Yeah, that means it’s gonna say it now.

Haney 5:21
Let’s open this sardine can. Yeah,

Chris 5:23
I guess. Okay,

Haney 5:24
let’s put some plug in Majoris mask

still opponents Yeah. And you’re right upon out out into termina field. And this is the first time you’ve gotten to really explore via horseback. How’s it feel

Chris 5:48
much better than running on my stubby to link legs?

Haney 5:51
That’s very true. How does horse riding compared to Gore on rolling?

Chris 5:54
I like it more. Honestly. Yeah. I like that the speed isn’t tied to your magic. Yeah. So I don’t like run out of anything. I can just keep keep plowing. Because essentially, essentially, she functions the same. Yeah, like you still run over enemies. You still tear up the grasses? You’re on throat so yeah, yeah, it’s just kind of a more consistent Goron role.

Haney 6:18
With one added bonus opponent can jump jet hops. She got them hops. Hey, girl. Christmas. Hey, girl, his horse. What is e pony?

Chris 6:28
It’s good horse.

Haney 6:30
That’s fucking horse right there.

Chris 6:31
Nice fucking horse.

Haney 6:35
If you try to run, Christmas tried to get on opponent as a Goron. And tattle says,

Unknown Speaker 6:40
if you try to ride the horse in that form. You’ll flatten the poor thing.

Unknown Speaker 6:44
You okay? I’m still trying to reconnect with the opponent. Yeah, emotionally. It’s

Chris 6:48
a bit of a struggle. Yeah, got it. Here we go.

Haney 6:52
That’s not how horses work. Please do not try to take a horse up a ramp.

Chris 6:57
God. Let’s make your

Haney 6:59
obstacles not go off ramps.

Chris 7:01
Therefore, it’s a ramp for jumping. Oh, God.

Haney 7:06
Chris was trying to take a bone off like a 30 foot drop. If honest ever again is your new does your new mountain bike. This is my new ride, doing 30 foot drops on your brand new mountain horse. So there’s two additional areas that Chris has never been able to access outside of terminal field. So we know to the north is no Head Mountain and the temple to the south is the swamp. And then to the east and west are the Great Bay and the mountains. Or actually the canyon. We’ll talk about that. Nora Nora now.

Chris 7:36
The canyon. Yeah,

Haney 7:37
it’s not it’s not for today. Well, actually, it kind of is for today. Could you try going on there for a second? Yeah. And then you just turned around and came back?

Chris 7:45
Yeah, there’s a wall. Yeah. too high for opponent. Yeah, I didn’t get cursed. But that’s okay.

Haney 7:50
Yeah. Bubbles are mean. Yeah. So you decided to fuck this place. I don’t want to be cursed. I don’t know what’s going on here. I’m gonna go have a real water temple at the time. That’s odd. I said. That’s what you’re thinking.

Chris 8:01
It’s really not.

Haney 8:04
You. You ride your horse on over to Great Bay and do a little jump. Yeah. And make your way down to the bay for the first time.

Chris 8:10
So if you remember previously, Great Bay is kind of the beachy area that has little Metroids that will attack you coming out of the sand. Yeah. And previously, there was a barrier that I couldn’t climb up. No, but this time I got a horse jumped right over it. No problem. Now we’re in the Greater Bay Area.

Haney 8:31
Yeah. So grippit coast. Hell yeah. You visited two places. First up the fisherman’s hut.

Chris 8:41
Welcome to Great Bay Coast.

Haney 8:43
Welcome. So Chris the first time you seen a new region a long damn time in this game?

Chris 8:47
Yeah. Well, that’s not true. last recording, I saw Romani Ranch for the first time.

Unknown Speaker 8:52
Was it just the first time last time

Haney 8:55
fisherman’s hut? Oh, what’s going on in here?

Chris 8:58
It’s uh, what the fuck are they called for your seahorses? Yes, the dragon.

Unknown Speaker 9:03
Does this look like

Chris 9:05
Binga? Yeah. Hey, what’s up, bro? Just got some cats. It’s pretty cool.

Haney 9:10
I’d like you to voice them.

Unknown Speaker 9:11
I’ve been catching fish in the seas for 30 years. It’s beautiful when it comes to catching fish and even better than the Zoras. And that’s what I’d like to be saying. Anyway, lately, the seawater has gotten really warm. hasn’t helped my fishing at all. And what’s worse, this water has gotten murky. So when I ship out, I always lose my way and somehow I end up back at shore. We fishermen and even the fish are in a real predicament. Come to think of it. There’s a Zara floating lifelessly out in the bay. What

Haney 9:43
the fuck so it’s the deads are out there. But there’s probably

Unknown Speaker 9:46
no helping him now. I mean, you could have done something. Fisher

Haney 9:51
haven’t been biting. The water is getting warm. And it’s getting murky and warming did the Yeah for real. And the fishermen and the fish are worse off for it. In fact, he says he’s pretty sure he saw dead Sora floating in the water. Yeah. And he was like it was probably too late to do anything for him now, so I just left him in the fucking Lake. Yeah, that’s where he lives now. Well, three dies now. Yeah, I’m sure that’s fine. That’s probably not important for worry about that another day. So you said fuck this guy. And you went into next house over? Because the Oceanside spider house talk to you about the spider house Chris

Chris 10:29
house? Is not what I would call it. It’s a cavern dungeon he kind of looking thing. Yeah. So you walk in and it’s just a big like, cave. Yeah, but there’s a wall with a crack in it. And you know, like when he sees the big crack. It’s got a it’s got a black float all over it. Yeah. So whipped out a bomb. Stuck it right there. Yeah, blew up in that crack. And there’s a secret tunnel. secret tunnel. Tunnel slide. Yeah, there’s kind of a slide. Yeah, it’s it’s it’s a slide five. Yeah. slid down it. Yeah.

Haney 11:05
But crawling around the slide our gold skull to us. Yeah, yeah.

Chris 11:09
Well, I think we’ve only seen previously in the spider family says

Haney 11:13
the swamp spider house. Yeah. So we’ve got the Oceanside spider house and the swamp spider house now.

Chris 11:18
Yeah, I assume this is their lake house though. I don’t think it’s two different families.

Haney 11:23
That’s fair. Oh, love it.

Chris 11:24
We’ve yet to see though because when you get to the bottom of the slide, the house it kind of looks like like a haunted house. Yeah, it’s

Haney 11:31
like very like, like Addams Family kind of family.

Chris 11:35
But it’s got a big gate around it. Can’t get in can’t get in. Yeah. Oh, slight.

Haney 11:42
Cool. Ah,

Chris 11:44
what the fuck is this?

Haney 11:46
Oftentimes better house it looks like

Chris 11:47
I find a dungeon. Secret dungeon secret dungeon. Got a nice little front yard.

Haney 11:54
Yeah, it’s got a spider web gate that says no, you can’t get in.

Chris 12:01
Well, this was a weird little thing.

Haney 12:05
What else is going on here? Well, there should be a corpse in the water. All there’s some birds hovering over there. Do you think that’s okay? No. Vultures danger keep out swimming prohibited due to murky water?

Chris 12:18
It’s because you’re leaving corpses in the water. Where you going? Back to Romani Ranch,

Haney 12:24
I can rescue the corpse. Not today.

Unknown Speaker 12:27
That’s fair. So it’s time

Haney 12:30
to go back to the ranch though. We spent enough time here that Zora isn’t getting any more dead so it’ll still be there next time. We did notice though that there’s you can kind of see a shape in the water and birds like yeah, flying over it in a circle. Like very stereotypical like there’s a there’s a bunch of water corpse here. Yeah, that’s fine. That’s fine. We’ll deal with that later. But today is not about dead fish. today. It’s about alien guests.

Chris 12:55
Sure is.

Haney 12:56
So you right back to the to the ranch. And you meet up with Romani. And it’s alien time. This 2am After some running around. Yeah, we fucked around for a few minutes. I was just gonna I assumed it wasn’t gonna make the cut.

Chris 13:11
We’ll see what happens. Yeah. All right. I go onto the roof at 1.0. Yeah, yeah,

Haney 13:15
there’s nothing up there. You tried to Santa Claus though? Yeah, that’s fine. Often a mama’s house llama just killed

Unknown Speaker 13:23
the man. Where’s Mama Put a gun up to its head threw him in the live stream now he’s go carry

Haney 13:39
Well, Chris is now rating the ranch girls house

Chris 13:42
stop. I wanted to write the diary. So you know, you know when you try and read a dire and you climb up on a bureau and you say bureau? Yeah.

Haney 13:51
It’s another very commonly used term.

Chris 13:53
What are you talking about? Usually, I

Unknown Speaker 13:54
hear people talk about them

Haney 13:55
as dressers.

Chris 13:56
Well, this is actually neither of those things. Because it’s got

Haney 13:59
a vanity. Yeah, because it has a mirror. And then that’s a vanity. And then tools, entities. That’s a wardrobe because it opens like a closet and wardrobe. This is a wardrobe as well. There’s no beers to be seen. dressers for that matter. Yeah. Unreal.

Chris 14:14
Welcome to dresser talk.

Haney 14:16
This is where we learned the taxonomy of furniture. bedroom furniture. Yeah, for instance, you notice eight inches crosses. Do you think you’re going to succeed at the Mission tonight?

Chris 14:26
Yeah,

Haney 14:27
I’m a little concerned.

Chris 14:29
No.

Haney 14:30
I’ve got it. But I’m hoping that you owe the sisters here now. Hello. She’s like, Can I help you?

Chris 14:36
Hey, Hey, pal. Fuck. Hey,

Unknown Speaker 14:40
that mask. Oh, that’s right. The town should be having its carnival soon.

Haney 14:44
So this is the sister mask. It’s

Chris 14:47
just my face.

Unknown Speaker 14:48
That mask. Oh, that’s right. The town should be having its carnival soon. But

Chris 14:52
the fucks your problem. That mass shot. Oh, that’s

Unknown Speaker 14:54
right. All right. Let’s go gamble with some dogs.

Haney 15:00
cuz I don’t think it’s open. What do you

Unknown Speaker 15:04
It’s Saturday night?

Chris 15:06
This farm is awful.

Haney 15:08
What do you mean? You know, the reason we have daylight savings hours is because farmers have to get up early, right?

Chris 15:14
It is early.

Haney 15:18
When alien time rolls around you mountain fauna, and you are in a similar situation to the mini game you were in earlier with the balloons, but this time, they’re ghosts. They’re relentless for about four hours of in game time. And they respond on like the balloons. So you kind of have to just ride a circle around the barn and the surrounding areas, shooting ghosts killing them and keeping them from abducting cattle for several hours.

Chris 15:44
Just a regular day. Yeah,

Haney 15:46
I mean, this is what I look for in my Zelda games. You know, cattle abduction, things like that. Yeah, you just started killing aliens did really well to kept it cool. You stayed on top of things. I man to the map.

Chris 16:00
Cool curses. What they call Yeah.

Haney 16:04
I have a good feeling about you. Defending the ranch from these aliens.

Chris 16:08
I thought you had a bad feeling.

Haney 16:09
No. They’re really fucking creepy. Yeah, so they’re all describing while you’re shooting. They’re these purple spirity ghost alien kind of like things that have giant glowing eyes that are like headlights because they have like, magic like lanterns coming down to them and they’re just unpleasant. Unpleasant to look at. Really?

Chris 16:29
Yeah. How long do these last four. Until morning?

Unknown Speaker 16:35
Oh, nice. Chris has got a two for one double kill.

Chris 16:37
Multi kill.

Haney 16:38
You’re a pro gamer. It’s true. behind the barn behind the barn. I’m Chris’s map Guy. Guy guy guy with the with the chair. Not guy in the chat, but just the guy with a charity the

Chris 16:49
guy in the map. How do I fucking I need a horse upgrade?

Haney 16:54
daylight comes the ghosts aliens burn up in the sunlight. Like it’s like vampires. Yeah, I was gonna say just like your favorite vampire does. Or ogres turn to stone right?

Chris 17:05
Trolls. Ogres are like onions.

Haney 17:09
I want to go to a Shrek party.

Chris 17:10
Okay.

Unknown Speaker 17:14
You’re gonna be my new donkey.

Haney 17:18
So that’s fun. Great success. Awesome. You talk to you Romani. And she’s like, hell yeah. My sister is going to be up in a few minutes. But thank you so much. I’m gonna give you milk. Here you go here jar Mills got

Chris 17:31
a jar of milk.

Haney 17:34
I have never successfully defended the farm. Not once. Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 17:40
She’s carrying it.

Haney 17:42
Oh my god. Upon as glitched in middle of Romani. That’s a nightmare. We did it. We won. But at what cost?

Chris 17:54
Thank you. Thanks to you. The cows are giving thanks to us Romanies. Thanks when you drink it. Put your hand on your hip and take a big gulp like we do here at the ranch.

Haney 18:03
You got a milk bottle. One quick gulp will have you feeling great. You see to take a drink tell you you’ll recover five hearts per gold. This bottle contains two gulps when it’s empty. recycle the bottle.

Chris 18:14
It’s almost time for my sister to get up. So I have to get back to bed. See you later. Little hero.

Haney 18:20
Oh, you help the ranch girl and save the cows. This was added to your notebook. She goes to bed. And then 20 minutes later, everyone wakes up again. And you found them them being Romani and her mysterious older sister who has been absent up to this point in the barn. So Camilla says that she’s going to be traveling into town at 6pm That night with her milk delivery. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Camilla asks you if you want to attend with her to come back to the ranch at 6pm Let’s fuck around for the day, Chris? Yeah, what the fuck do we do? Chris decides immediately go over back to mama Moo yawns dog racing track, and spends all right, that’s why I don’t remember 100 rupees trying to figure out why he can’t win the dog race

Chris 19:11
track. At least I figured it out though.

Unknown Speaker 19:13
Did you? What is it? Why can’t you win? If you pick a dog, then it’s going to be one of the dogs you don’t pick that wins. That’s not consistent. It’s what I’ve said here. Now it’s fair. You have not won. So

Chris 19:28
this red one seems pretty chipper. Right?

Haney 19:34
By what are you doing to my dogs put the dog down and step away from the kennel. You have to talk to her first. Sit there.

Chris 19:42
This is Mama. Mama mom yo yawns doggy racetrack. I found my dog. This is the fastest dog in the world. Stop throwing it link. Dog.

Haney 19:56
What a nightmare.

Chris 19:59
Why are you spanked? I’m doing so bad every time. I thought I picked a good one this

Haney 20:03
son has to say,

Chris 20:05
Well, the good thing I took out 160 rupees. Yeah, how

Haney 20:08
much did you bet 20

Chris 20:11
I just want to win ones I don’t really give a shit. Jesus Christ was that was a poor showing. Yeah.

Haney 20:20
Which dog? Yeah, we’re going for now. Not that one. Right. You’re Beelining towards that one but I don’t know, man. What else is going on here? Talk me through your your decision making process right now. I’m just looking at what now? Yeah, at a doggy race crack. Just kind of eyeing up. There’s about I don’t know, 20 dogs or so? Yeah, because I end up all of them. They’re all like little terrier things like Scottish terriers of various colors. So what are we feeling like? What’s what’s what’s the field that you’re getting the vibe?

Chris 20:52
Well, I’m trying to go for the ones that are like most active right? I mean, you told me Yeah, I’m just I’m looking at their activity level. Okay, there’s a bunch. They’re just barking at nothing. I guess that’s dog.

Haney 21:07
I was gonna say are you just not familiar with dogs? Dude? I’m gonna try this speech. Which I’m just like this off white? Yeah.

Chris 21:16
All right. Better start than usual.

Haney 21:17
All right. Good. Show him good show him

Chris 21:22
could be a better showing. So my dog came in

Unknown Speaker 21:26
dead last this time. Oh, excellent. That was a bad choice. Are my

Chris 21:30
dog so bad though? Like you think just even if I was just picking randomly

Haney 21:37
again I don’t know how much to tell you we’re not going I don’t want you to tell me anything. All right. All right, Chris. Go in for a cream colored dog. Is this the doggy

Chris 21:49
take my doggy 20 rupees so

Haney 21:52
you have 200 rupees that yes will be 100

Chris 21:55
All right I’m on the outside now right

Haney 22:00
it’s in the middle middle of the pack. fallen behind the fallen behind getting slower. Damn. Wow Well, she Are you dead last? Ah, Mr. dead last? No, no. Yeah. Moving up in the world.

Chris 22:16
Improving.

Haney 22:18
We’re all about continuous improvement here at first encounter podcast. I’d say so. Blue Dog. Blue Dog. Blue Dog Doggy fine.

Chris 22:32
It’s fine. Come on blue balls. Blue balls is doing okay. He’s doing okay. He’s fallen behind.

Haney 22:41
Maybe he’ll pull through though. Maybe come on baby boy on getting the top three at least should give Chris something to live for really? Who he really fell behind holy chapped. Drop. Wow. All right, God Damn, man. I

Chris 22:54
thought that was it.

Haney 22:55
Yeah, I thought you had thought you had one. Fuck. Bad choice.

Chris 23:02
I’m leaving. Splice is bad. This is a scam?

Haney 23:07
Probably. What? What else are you going to do?

Chris 23:10
Well, I only have two hours. Yeah. So not a whole heck of a lot. I guess.

Haney 23:15
What do you think you’re gonna have to do to? Or what do you think the 6pm McFlurry is going to be like,

Chris 23:22
I know what I’d like it to be.

Haney 23:28
Yeah, something’s going on there. I don’t know what. Maybe we’ll figure it out. Maybe we want yeah, maybe who’s to say I’m trivializing this, but this really was the majority of the day was Chris doing this. Eventually, though, after 100 rupees later, that’s fine. Chris, is literally what you did from 6am to 6pm.

Chris 23:47
That’s fine. I got the money. I’m good for it. heads back

Haney 23:51
over to the Ranch House at 6pm meets up with Camilla and she’s not in the wagon. She’s in a wagon that’s pulled by a donkey and she’s got to get this milk to town. So she tells you to write in the back and she’s like, Hey, it’s been a little dicey. Sometimes when I go through here, if you see any trouble, just you know, just take him down, take him down. And then she starts telling you her life story as she drives out of the ranch. It was hard to catch this because moves wicked fast. And I didn’t retain any of it because I was trying to read to keep up with it. But essentially She says that her I think her father died a long time ago. She’s been trying to keep up with the ranch and it’s just been getting harder because it’s been harder and harder for her deliver milk and milk is expensive and she’s just kind of fallen on some hard times.

Unknown Speaker 24:42
I guess it’s been a while now since her father died trying to take care of the ranch. But things have been unstable lately. The cows always seem bothered and frazzled and I’m finding broken bottles everywhere but I don’t know who’s doing it. My sister Romani has been worried too. She’s practicing using a bow she says this The stop the ghosts. Say what are the Tom spoke saying about that moon it’s bigger than before isn’t it

Chris 25:03
when you have to sync the dialog boxes to the yeah animation

Unknown Speaker 25:06
in town I have a friend named and you onto the day after tomorrow it’s her wedding.

Chris 25:11
God these are fast I like the woods steering wheel.

Unknown Speaker 25:14
I wonder if it will fall that thing.

Chris 25:16
I still always forget that the moon has gums

Haney 25:20
Yeah, that’s fine. has internal organs I’m sure you get outside of the ranch back to milk bread and milk roads gated off now the fuck? So you have to take a separate road that goes past the Garmin brothers racetrack to be fine. They’re upstanding folk. I love that as you go through here she’s like, not only is the milk gonna be late, but now we have to go through ugly country, because there’s like billboards of the Gorman’s faces like all over as we’re going through Gorman country. She’s like, hey, why don’t you get your bow and climb in the back and if anyone tries to sneak up and break the milk, let them have it. Immediately two dudes on horseback start riding at you wearing masks screaming and trying to break the milk. Chris, talk to me.

Unknown Speaker 26:03
I mean, it’s clearly Garmin and Garmin, Chris I don’t know how you have as to be any. It has an inkling

Haney 26:09
or indication that they would be trying to do so we’re just in their backyard. Why would they do that though? What’s the motivation? They got their own milk business.

Chris 26:16
They’re competing with us.

Haney 26:17
Is that how healthy businesses work? Yeah, road robbery. I’m just trying to I’m imagining like Blue Bonnet like shooting down hood like trucks. Booth brothers or dad. Kimball bra Brooke. I know milk brands. I don’t know why. That’s fine. I don’t like milk. It hurts my tummy. Good evening. She has a donkey horse that’s a donkey. Sure.

Unknown Speaker 26:43
I’m going to town now to deliver milk. Would you like a ride? That’s great. Tonight I’m kind of lonely.

Haney 26:49
I welcome company. Well, here we are milk delivery.

Chris 26:54
Do I get a Romani mask or something?

Unknown Speaker 26:58
The road boy get your boy you ready? Boy. Get your bow ready,

Haney 27:03
boy. Boy. I gotta take that road less traveled. I see.

Chris 27:08
Ah, no. We’re gonna

Unknown Speaker 27:11
slug. And now we have to take this detour through ugly country. Are you ready, Billy? I’m going to try to get us through here as fast as I can. I have a fucking name. If any pursuers come from behind chase them off with your arrows. They may be after my cargo of milk bottles.

Chris 27:29
What a weird world.

Unknown Speaker 27:30
Do you understand? Yeah, got it. Thanks. I’m relying on you. If we can get through here. I’ll have a big thanks for you.

Haney 27:35
Can’t believe the milk is delivering twice tonight. Ah, these seem terrifying.

Chris 27:43
Got pitchforks. Hi. Yeah, so this is definitely the brothers. Why do you say that Chris?

Haney 27:48
So wait a minute, two brothers are attacking Chris in the back of a wagon to two men on horses masked men on horses with pitchforks. They’re yelling a lot at him. But they’re breaking the milk now.

Unknown Speaker 28:00
Die rice die.

Haney 28:05
They did break two of the two of the milk jugs but

Chris 28:09
I filled them with arrows like filled

Haney 28:13
the JUGS era you shot them so many times. They should be dead. Yeah, yeah. 20 times over easy, easy. Nice thing about this though, is you have unlimited arrows, which is pretty cool. So eventually you realize that you can just let him fog and have it which made it a lot easier. Eventually, you get to click down. And Camilla super grateful for you. She’s like, Hey, thank you so much. I love everything that you do and stand for. I don’t have a lot to give you. But I have this mask and she gives you the Romani mask, which is just a little towel. The cow is a cow hood. That signifies you as a member of the milk bar, which is something Chris has been striving to get for a long time now. She also says that it signifies you as an adult. She recognizes you as a grownup now cool fucking

Chris 28:58
gray. Love it. It’s very triumphant music for what just happened? Yeah.

Haney 29:03
Some milk bottles got broken, but in the end, we’re okay. I was just

Unknown Speaker 29:07
smiling. Mr. Brighton was happy to get his first delivery in quite a while. Thank you. You’re pretty cool.

Chris 29:14
I am pretty cool.

Unknown Speaker 29:15
This isn’t very big, but except my thanks. Remember. She

Haney 29:17
said it was gonna be a big thanks. Oh hell yeah. You got Romanies mask where it was see to show you’re a member of the exclusive Milk Bar latte. So the Romani mask is just a cow. Yeah, well, I don’t know what you expected. Honestly, I have okay. Do you want to hang out wearing this mask? Drinking milk in a bar though?

Chris 29:37
Yeah, kinda. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 29:39
By doing one good deed a child becomes an adult. So what I heard that mask is only given to a limited number of adult customers. It’s proof of membership.

Chris 29:47
What about my sword?

Haney 29:48
I now acknowledged as being an adult. You guarded the milk ranches milk wait ranches milk. This is added to your notebook that was hard for me because ranch and milk like buttermilk ranch. Yeah, okay, but milk branch.

Unknown Speaker 30:00
Yeah, that’s my call. Yeah. Well,

Haney 30:04
you did a whole bunch of stuff on Romani Ranch, Chris,

Chris 30:06
what a weird.

Haney 30:07
What a weird everything I’m gonna give you. One more. One more thing if you want to do one more thing.

Chris 30:14
P first. Is that thing Pn? Yes. Okay,

Haney 30:17
cool. So Chris heads into the milk bar and only the owners there. Oh, she also gives. No, you bought the Chateau Romani. We’ll get there. Okay. So Chris goes into the milk bar, but it’s closed right now. It’s like a PM. He talks to the owner, Mr. Barton is the owner’s name. And Mr. Burns like, Hey, I see you’re a member. That’s awesome. We don’t open until 10. If you’re just like here to chill, like, that’s fine, but like, I’m not serving till then. So get the fuck out. Unless you’re just here to chat. What, uh, what are you going to do next? So you’ve defended the milk. You’ve milked the ranch?

Chris 30:54
We’ll go check out the bar. Ah,

Haney 30:57
excellent. Oh, you’re right there. That’s convenient.

Chris 31:01
All right. Let’s see what’s going on with how now cow mask?

Haney 31:04
Yeah. All right. Cow mask. This is what adults do. I don’t know what to expect. This is what adults do.

Chris 31:11
This is what adults were to their secret parties. Yeah, you’re gonna go in? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 31:18
Yeah, you know, I

Haney 31:19
am. Milk Bar.

Chris 31:21
Hey, man. Are you closer to? Yeah. Oh, yes.

Haney 31:25
You are a member. I’m sorry. But the bar opens at 10 o’clock at night. I’m getting things ready. Now. You just want to talk. I’ll let you stay. But you want to talk about I don’t think I need to explain this to a member but we’re called the milk bar. We serve the milk of the night. Oh, our most popular of course is Chateau Romani. It’s a vintage milk. Eel. Cheese. Yeah, it comes from Romani Ranch and the current price is 200 rupees. You’re not surprised. Whoa, depends on who you ask. But there are those who consider this milk as a source of magic power takes just one gulp they say it’s expensive, but thankfully it’s the one we see are the most. Last night we got some fresh milk in the fridge for the first time in quite a while. But that mood. Alright, regular customers have all fled, so there really isn’t any good news.

Chris 32:15
There’s a weird fucking place.

Haney 32:16
Welcome to the milk bar.

Chris 32:18
This is a weird fucking place.

Haney 32:20
Do you like the milk bar? Yeah, it’s okay. So from here, you decided to burn some time by playing some more minigames and Corktown Yeah, headed over immediately. It’s a honey and darling shop and decided to play basketball.

Chris 32:33
They’re still they’re doing their thing.

Haney 32:35
They’re still sucking face on they’re spinning platform. They’re fine. Dale having to throw bombs in the baskets along the wall. Except this time. You immediately jump off the edge. You fail the game. Yeah. The next one though. You throw two bombs in the basket. Nailed it. Then Then jump off. Yeah, but as you always say Chris Third time’s the charm.

Unknown Speaker 32:55
I do say and you got a fucking perfect score. I

Haney 32:58
mean the word perfect flew up on the screen. I’ve never even seen that before. I took a picture of it. It was pretty hot. But again, I’ll text it to you if you reach out to my personal cell phone at

Chris 33:11
not not cheese that’s not that’s not right. But nope, doesn’t turn into cheese as ages. No,

Haney 33:18
I mean it’s all of it Butter really? Butter but you have to like add friction to butter but like it’s it’s all like aged but usually you turn something into cheese and then age the cheese.

Chris 33:31
What a fucked up world we live in Hani Oh, would

Unknown Speaker 33:35
you like to play

Chris 33:36
today is basket bomb day isn’t it darling? One game is 10 rupees. Get a bomb inside every basket and the time it takes us to dance through one song.

Unknown Speaker 33:47
If you throw with too much power you’ll fall off this platform so be careful right darling.

Unknown Speaker 33:52
Are you ready to start the music? Ah,

Haney 33:56
nice. Nice. Do better. Fuck do better. Oh,

Chris 34:03
I was trying to dunk it nailed it. Come on baby.

Unknown Speaker 34:08
Nailed it. But my fire

Unknown Speaker 34:11
nailed on zombie. Oh,

Haney 34:16
have you ever seen a perfect before? Wait. Hell yeah, hell yeah.

Unknown Speaker 34:23
Did you see that? Honey? He got a perfect score.

Unknown Speaker 34:26
We have to share happiness.

Chris 34:29
That’s okay. Actually also

Haney 34:32
Ah hell yeah, you got to purple rupee. It’s worth 50 rupees beaming

Chris 34:36
that’s annoying so let’s show off even more for him. Yeah, okay.

Haney 34:42
I don’t say this is a peep show now. Well

Chris 34:45
crossed off my list.

Haney 34:47
I like to watch Yeah, fuck imperfect very cool. They gave you a silver rupee I think that’s fine or purple rupee.

Chris 34:54
I don’t remember why they give me money. Give

Haney 34:55
me money. You seem kind of like mad about it. Yeah.

Chris 34:58
Like I don’t really care about money. It’s kind of infinite. Yeah, it’s it’s fine. They were pretty unhappy though. Yeah, they

Haney 35:05
were really really shitty. They weren’t good players. They said something about like, they’re still gonna, like show off for him or something and then like, start making out harder, which was weird. Like, that’s fine, I guess. Okay, I don’t want it. So at this point, though, the Milk Bar is open. So let’s pop over there and see what’s going on. Let’s wet our whistle. So there’s two patrons of the milk bar and the bartender, Chris makes his way over to the bartender first, the owner Mr. Barton, to ask about some some talking. doesn’t really have much to say

Chris 35:33
no, he talks up some of the milk Vega Yeah, real fancy milk.

Haney 35:37
He’s really excited about having Chateau Romani again, which is milk that they charge 200 rupees for Yeah,

Chris 35:44
because it’s been aged heavy. Yeah, it’s finally aged. They’ll say it’s vintage,

Haney 35:48
which is not my favorite thing I’ve heard. Chris has 180 rupees at this point and thinks Oh, I gotta get me some of that gotta try that milk runs over to the bank real fast withdraws 20 rupees and runs back there’s a $4 or four rupee surcharge to yeah, there’s the service fee after hours, which I think is very funny. So dumb, so good. Chris slams 200 rupees down on the counter as he runs in sweating and the guy says sorry there’s a members only barking please take the bunny hat off and put your Romani mask on it’s the rules which is funny because not as I looked around the fucking hood on love it. So Chris puts his his cowboy hat back on and then he’s like, I fucking give me the $200 Milk. Welcome, please show proof of membership. Come on, Chris. You can’t just walk in not wearing your society. I’m ready for the orange you are a member please come in. Do you cow mask orgy that’s my new band name. Yeah, okay. Claude is people in here

Chris 36:44
Wow look at all this wow what a what a

Haney 36:49
what a crowd. You didn’t say like no one was coming in place. Welcome. Speak to the shopkeeper we’ve got some good milkins Tonight Would you like some Romani for your final Moon New Moon viewing?

Chris 37:00
Yeah, I’ll have a drink.

Haney 37:01
What will it be? regular milk 20 rupees Chateau Romani 200 rupees nothing but the problem here.

Chris 37:08
I’m gonna go grab 20 rupees.

Haney 37:12
Sir, it’s the rules. Please wear your mask inside.

Chris 37:15
So strict. Wait

Haney 37:15
a minute, no one else. You’re the only you’re the only person wearing a mask. Your bottle was filled the Chateau Romani trinkets replenish all your magic power. There you go.

Chris 37:27
Wait, that’s it? Yep. 200 rupees for that.

Haney 37:31
The drink even improves your stamina, swirl it around with your tongue to enjoy its flavor to the fullest.

Chris 37:35
I was hoping it would like increase my magic bar Goddamnit

Haney 37:41
you got $200 of milk?

Chris 37:43
Hell yeah.

Haney 37:44
Chateau Romani is a really cool powerup. Where when you drink it, it fills your life and your magic, but also gives you the bonus of having unlimited magic for the remainder of the current three days cycle. You’re in. Pretty good. Pretty good.

Chris 38:00
Here’s the problem. Yeah. I just spent 200 bucks on this milk. And it’s the night

Haney 38:04
of day two. End of Day two. Yeah. So you have one day to use to make it useful. Or you lose it. Chug that milk tomorrow. Yeah. Some nice high milk. Yeah. Hopefully it’s sunny and warm that day to God. That’s fine. We got some milk now.

Chris 38:21
Yeah, pretty cool.

Haney 38:22
The other guy in the bar is Garmin. We know Garmin. We’ve met him. We’ve talked to him before. He’s sad. He’s drinking milk and drunk. It says like, can you get drunk off milk IQ? No, you can’t. You’re probably lactose intolerant. And that’s like a severe allergic reaction. Please stay safe. But he’ll be alright. I’m sure. Probably not. No, no, not at all. Then finally Chris’s favorite character turno are the friends lately. So tell you right my roommate remember is the Zora band manager that usually is hanging out with Madame aroma in her office discussing how the diva of the Indiegogo has this aura band is going through something don’t really know what and can’t perform.

Chris 39:03
So what’s your voice?

Haney 39:04
Was that it? Yeah. Oh, excellent. So because she can’t perform the Indiegogo has dropped out from the carnival, which means that there’s no need for a performance which downstream removes the carbon troupe from being able to perform at the carnival time. Todo is really bummed out about this still, but he says this is supposed to be one of the best live music venues referring to the latte bar. And I really just love to hear a soundcheck you know, even if even if we’re not playing now, at least for next time. I’ll have it. Yeah, see if you can help out.

Chris 39:32
Alright, what’s going on?

Unknown Speaker 39:33
Hey, you milk. Okay? It’s milk.

Haney 39:40
Can you get tipsy from something like milk?

Chris 39:42
You seem like you’re doing okay. Yeah, he’s

Haney 39:44
doing fine.

Chris 39:45
Hey, Toto.

Unknown Speaker 39:48
We were scheduled to do a show but it got canceled. This place has a reputation for being a great live venue, so it’s a stain. I’d like to do a soundcheck though. I just want to see what it would have been like Hey, you. Could you help me with a performance? Yeah. Okay. You play the ocarina, right? Got scanned on there. Senator spotlight.

Chris 40:08
You’re very wet did pop up on that stage. He’s like, Hey, I see you got a ocarina. What are you saying over there and took me a tune,

Haney 40:18
and he tells you to play it like this. He gives you like four bars, little pieces of a song, some hot little number, and I took it out.

Chris 40:25
He’s like, talk sounds great.

Haney 40:27
I love it. Garmin though, is like that racket. Sounds like shit. Kill yourself. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 40:32
fuck. All right, Jesus. Okay, guys, you’re

Haney 40:34
not happy. Chris fumbles around for a little bit, trying to figure out what to do next.

Chris 40:38
Well, I hop off the stage and I talk to Gorman, that rude boy, and he kind of just unloads a lot of his life on us. Like to hear someone different.

Unknown Speaker 40:49
Don’t look at me. Anyway,

Haney 40:52
I’m just the dispatch. Second Son, II.

Unknown Speaker 40:55
I can’t handle horses like my older brother.

Haney 40:57
I can’t take care of horses like my younger brother. I left the ranch came to know the world of showbusiness travelled around but for what? For nothing. Oh, I just had to enter the world of entertainment deny it’s cold.

Unknown Speaker 41:11
So cold.

Chris 41:13
Ah, calm sound.

Unknown Speaker 41:16
I can’t feel you’re there.

Chris 41:19
All right, getting some context.

Haney 41:23
How are we fine, we’ll figure it out. We’ll

Chris 41:24
come back to him.

Haney 41:25
So Chris checks his bomber notebook at this point and realizes that now’s the time for both Gorman and Toto who are members of the notebook to be helped. So Chris kind of starts just relentlessly

Chris 41:38
fucking around and finding out on that stage.

Unknown Speaker 41:41
What did you find out?

Chris 41:42
Well, how’d you like hey, Gorman seems down. Maybe I should play the song of healing and heal his heart. He ignored me. So that’s a no go. Maybe next time? Yeah, I’ll try again. So then I thought, Well, maybe if I talk to Toto, and he puts me back up on that stage in the lights, maybe then I can play that. It’s gonna make you a star baby. Yeah, please. No play the song of healing up there. And I can’t toto is like what the fuck are you playing? Play it right? Play what? I played this one. So that’s no good. But Henny reminded me that I have more than one instrument. Yeah, I got the ocarina. Yeah, I got my voice. Yeah, I got my dance moves. My drums. Big Bongo booty. Yeah, yeah. And I got my fucking whatever they scrub does that really grating one?

Haney 42:31
That’s the pipes. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Chris 42:35
So when I swap my masks, I can talk to toto as a Goron. It’ll be like, Oh, you got drums. I can talk to him as a scribe, and it’ll be like, Whoa, you got pipes. And depending on which instrument you have, He’ll put you in a different spotlight on the stage. And he’ll give you a different tune to play. Yeah. And then as you play these tunes, you can kind of see overlaid the previous licks you’ve played.

Haney 42:59
Yeah. The music venue. Make make good music. Crisco

Chris 43:05
tried to get better.

Haney 43:08
Not a not a fan of the ocarina. But I

Chris 43:10
can’t turn into anything else in here. They’re gonna kick me out. Because I can’t wear my my mask of cackle my beef mask.

Haney 43:21
I mean, if they if they kick you out, you can just put it back on and come right back in no big deal. And I guess I picked a scab on my thumb from canoeing the other day and I’m bleeding now.

Unknown Speaker 43:33
I’ll play your part to like this.

Haney 43:38
Pipes are real loud, huh?

Chris 43:45
Honestly, this is all real raggedy, it’s not good. What do you think it’s missing? Hopefully a piano. I want to whip out a piano. So it’s kind of coming together as an ensemble.

Haney 43:57
Yeah. Of link of link. The for for swords adventure? Yes, yes.

Chris 44:02
Unfortunately, there’s still light that I don’t have an instrument for now. Which means I probably need one more mask. What do you think

Haney 44:11
that mask is me?

Chris 44:12
I assume Zuora All right.

Haney 44:14
It’s a fair assumption to make,

Chris 44:16
I would assume. Yeah. Now I gotta ask the question. I hope it’s seahorse instead. But

Haney 44:21
be cool. Yeah. So say you turn into his aura. Yeah. EZLink Sure. Get his aura mask somehow. I’m sure it won’t be horrifying to figure it out. How

Chris 44:29
won’t be a problem?

Haney 44:31
What’s your instrument going to be? Do you think?

Chris 44:33
So we got drums. We got pipes. And ocarina all instruments that are commonly go together for those bands. Yeah. I think keyboard would be sweet. All right. I mean, there’s guitar there’s bass. There’s, I hope it’s the triangle. That would be ideal for me.

Haney 44:57
What um, what would be the worst one for you? Like if Like not like the worst instrument but like what would be like the lamest cop out for you

Chris 45:04
the harmonica? Yeah, it’d

Haney 45:07
be really annoying. Yeah, that’s fair. All right. Join us some time to see well Chris get another mask who knows?

Chris 45:15
Yeah. Will it be the the fucking Zara or is it gonna be a seahorse? Will I get a pouch to keep my young in? Or will it be Fishman?

Unknown Speaker 45:26
Yeah,

Haney 45:27
well, Sarah Fishman you get to fertilize eggs.

Chris 45:31
Join us.

Haney 45:32
Thanks so much for listening. We’ll see you next time.

Chris 45:34
Bye do leave us a review.

Haney 45:38
Please review me for reviews. I need your review. Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast if you want the journey to continue please support us at patreon.com/first encounter find our socials and contact info at first encounter podcast.com Please stop by and say hey, our intro and outro music is by Alden Zach I want more people to talk to me all right, I’m a social butterfly and I need people to talk to me otherwise I will wither there Yeah, like of social flower fly. I keep watering you but it’s not the same. Now I don’t drink water. So I do not drink water. This is actually true. I do not drink water unless it’s unless it’s spicy and comes in a can