We return to the ranch to see what other mischief we can get up to. It was a good call, because this time we have an alien invasion to discourage!

❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.

View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript
Haney 0:05
Hey listener first encounters an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. If you’re just tuning in, this is Fe PR member station for the National Public Radio, and this is your host Hani. We need members like you to continue making great programming such as the first encounter podcast or our Patreon exclusive bonus series that are continually ongoing. Currently, that series is featuring Final Fantasy seven admin children go over to www.patreon.com/first encounter. All right, yeah, that’s right. And pledge today. Your pledges are the only thing that keep first encounter going we need your support members so we can continue to grow. Continued member support is what brings first encounter to you at home members such as Alex, Ben, Brendan, Calabria, Cody Deadeye. fumbling for and the almighty credit, Joan, and Josh. Their contributions and contributions from members like you can allow us to bring the programming that you so desperately crave to your ears. Joining now as a $10 member of our Patreon will unlock for you our special membership only pen. It’s not really a membership only pen because you can buy it in our store, which you can find at www dot first encounter podcast.com But we will ship you one of these pens for free if you sign up at the $10 tier in the next two weeks. Or if you want to go above and beyond you can join our producer levels here like Dr. J. Denise and August. We’re going to take a quick break from the membership drive here to hear a word from one of our sponsors. Today we have sponsorship from uncommon coffee.

Chris 1:52
This show has support from uncommon coffee located in the heart of Essex, Vermont. Uncommon vt.com has all your coffee needs. You can use our exclusive code good good at checkout and receive 10% off your order. Uncommon vi t.com. Being there brewed that

Haney 2:10
call in now. We will end the membership drive if we get enough to support our next couple of weeks honestly, seriously, it’s getting desperate here in the FE PR studio. I think Chris had to fight a possum for his lunch earlier because we can’t afford to replace the window. This is the worst studio space ever. Oh god.

Unknown Speaker 3:00
Hey pumpkin

Chris 3:02
ABB How you doing? Good. Good.

Haney 3:05
You played a little Marjorie’s mask today?

Chris 3:08
Yeah, fucking nailed it.

Haney 3:10
You actually

Unknown Speaker 3:11
100% at Romani Ranch.

Chris 3:16
Did I don’t have to go back.

Haney 3:18
I mean, you might have done. It depends on what you want to do. I guess next

Chris 3:22
I want to see day three. So maybe, maybe we won’t.

Haney 3:26
I don’t know that I’ve ever gone back on the last day to see if any of the people like roll up into town.

Chris 3:32
Yeah, I don’t know if they make it.

Haney 3:36
Chris is just a mess today. He’s got a plant tackle in his head. Yeah, Mike’s fallen off. Yeah, we don’t have to go back to Romani Ranch. If you don’t want to. It’s up

Chris 3:46
to you. We’ll see what happens. I definitely don’t want to be doing any water temple.

Unknown Speaker 3:49
So yeah, well,

Haney 3:50
let’s dive in and see what this horse gets.

Chris 3:53
What I said when he says you have this horse get yeah,

Haney 3:56
let’s get this horse. It’s not what the millennials are saying now.

Unknown Speaker 4:00
Alright, Let’s fucking do this.

Haney 4:02
So we started out today in Chris’s number one area new. Okay, if you will. Corktown Yeah, Chris, where were you in clocked him?

Chris 4:12
You know, who knows? You usually spend fucking two months or whatever. Yeah, I don’t know. I was also a Deku Scrub for some reason. Which I don’t remember becoming.

Haney 4:25
Spent some time as a Daiki. Scrub. I’m over that part of my life now though.

Unknown Speaker 4:29
Yeah. That’s fine. That’s fine.

Haney 4:33
I don’t even think audacity is on. Excellent. Yeah, I just like being able to see it. That’s why

Chris 4:38
I was saying hot mic. Mic. So we wake up and clock

Haney 4:43
turns, shorts, three years. You’ve just been bringing me here not recording anything and then just telling me I have a podcast?

Chris 4:51
Listen. Yeah, you’ve been buying. So start off heart and Clock Town. I’m a scrub guy. I

Haney 5:00
have a rupee I

Chris 5:00
think I have a rupee It is day one it is day one which is pretty cool. It was

Haney 5:04
10am though so you did something for a couple hours after the last reset no idea what it’s fine so not sure what your a debut, but I’m pretty pleased about though the whole setup oh yeah it’s a great place to launch a new adventure.

Unknown Speaker 5:17

Chris 5:17
I’m sure I had a good reason.

Haney 5:20
Hey pumpkin Hey, how you doing?

Chris 5:23
I’m doing okay, can you believe we’re here? Now after the last recording in this game you rage quit it’s been stocked out of the room said I will never watch you play this again.

Haney 5:36
I want you to know it’s been four months since last time we recorded this game

Chris 5:41
that’s okay. Already know everything.

Haney 5:43
Yeah. What’s what’s on the agenda for today?

Chris 5:46
I thought we could just putz around and clock down a bit. See what’s what

Haney 5:52
I have a hint for you don’t need it. You’re gonna want it? Absolutely not. No, it’s actually not a it’s a genuine mechanic explanation actually.

Chris 6:02
I don’t need an explanation handy. Yeah, I thought we could go have a real Romani Ranch three days span of time. Let’s

Haney 6:11
see where we are. All right, am I your JQ scrub? Why are you a scrub? You have a Lens of Truth that that makes me feel all right. And you have so that’s good.

Chris 6:24
I have one rupee. Okay, so I’m gonna go to Romani Ranch.

Haney 6:27
Okay. It’s 10am On the first day. That’s pretty good. Do you know what you need to do to get through? I need

Chris 6:35
one of them super bombs. Yeah, powder. keg had a gig. So I’m gonna go take some money out. Yeah. And I’m gonna buy a powder keg. Go bullshit up. Here’s what we’re doing today. Hey,

Haney 6:48
what are we doing today? Talk to me. What’s what’s the plan? What’s the crystal vision the Christian if you will, heading into this episode?

Chris 6:56
I mean, I guess I will. You didn’t want to? I don’t like it. So, on our previous adventure, we spent some time and Romani Ranch. Penny got upset with me. He said I was doing it wrong. Remember this? I think you probably blocked it. You were very grumpy that day? Yeah, I’m usually pretty grumpy. Especially when I’m playing Yeah, so what I didn’t do though is you know spend the whole three days stretch Romani Ranch now so that was lovely though. Yeah, yeah, it’s a pretty cool place. I’m gonna roll up to Romani Ranch. I’m gonna see the whole three days they see

Haney 7:35
me Romani. See who rolls in? Yeah, who

Chris 7:38
rolls out? What the deal is it maybe when that dog race? Yeah, so that’s that’s sir objective.

Haney 7:48
If I remember right, your original objective was to try to talk to people at the ranch on the final day. Because you wanted to see what see everyone rolling in? Yeah, maybe. Yeah. So you go with your single rupee. Go to the banker, and you’re like, listen up to let’s do call him to it. And you spend about 35 of my minutes in my life that I can never get back. Just aggressively hitting your way through the menu not depositing or removing rupees, just to be annoying. To be fair,

Chris 8:16
I did deposit that one room you did?

Unknown Speaker 8:20
Oh, yes. Link, if I remember. Yeah, the little guy who deposited 423 rupees. So how much do you want? 00? Is this a joke? Watch. Excuse me, but let me take a look. Ah, oh, yes. Link if I remember. It was Euro. What? This is a cruel joke. Deposit. Excuse me. But let’s take a look at you. Yes, link if I remember. You’re the little guy here. All right. So how much one rupee really, really depositing one. That’s it. All right.

Chris 8:54
And keep reading.

Unknown Speaker 8:55
What’s this? You need something with rupees Excuse me, but let me take a look at you. Yes, link if I remember you’re the little guy who deposited the 424 rupees. So how much do you want 200 rupees. Are you really withdrawing 200 rupees. Oh, you’re taking out all that. If you spend it like that. It’ll all be gone before you know

Chris 9:14
it. Thanks. No. Consultation,

Haney 9:19
ratcheting up goes on so long of your wallet filled. Then you decided eventually that you wanted to start playing the game. Ready to go to money? I think you filled your wallet and you decided to go buy yourself a little powder keg? Yeah. Can you remind listeners at home why you need the powder keg?

Chris 9:36
So the Powder Keg is used to remove the giant boulder boulder blocking Romani wrench. If you don’t want to wait, you know, two whole days before pickaxe McGee. Hey,

Haney 9:50
he’s working on it. Okay,

Chris 9:51
these work in here. Yeah, sorry.

Haney 9:55
No, no, it was perfect. I loved it never change.

Chris 9:57
Yeah, so the party cake is for blowing up the boulder. That’s plugin The road to remonte ranch Melk road I believe our listeners will recognize it by I hope

Haney 10:06
so. Yeah the fucked up thing is that’s just what you named it that’s not even what they call it in the game

Chris 10:11
it isn’t they haven’t named it some stinky little dirt road it’s not gonna road

Haney 10:16
so Chris runs over and is ready to just explode on the milk road if you will. And you do I mean had a little aside where we needed to see if we can glitch our way through a boulder but you know what wasn’t happening weekend?

Chris 10:31
It was a good thought though. Yeah,

Haney 10:33
I really thought when you roll then you’re gonna be able to like it seemed like it for a hot second there and I was like, fucking let’s go this will be funny. Chris is attempting to glitch his way through the massive boulder blocking the path through Romani Ranch.

Chris 10:46
This is my electron now.

Haney 10:49
Ah, clever. They got you. Well, oh, I

Chris 10:54
guess that’s the

Haney 10:55
if you can’t blow them up. Can’t beat them blow them.

Chris 10:59
I always do. So we

Haney 11:03
let ourselves a powder keg and blow up a boulder. And Chris makes his way into Romani Ranch on day one every time Yeah, so tell listeners what’s in Romani Ranch.

Chris 11:15
The first thing I notice rolling into the ranch

Haney 11:20
time mostly because you’re forced to because tattle screams that you look

Chris 11:23
yeah, hey, listen. Is opponents here?

Haney 11:27
Ah, your horse.

Chris 11:28
I mean, she was here last time we were in the ranch. But now she’s still here and she’s still locked in a cage that

Haney 11:33
you can’t open. That’s pretty cool. That’s fine. Chris Can I interest you in Romani day one? Yeah. All ranch dressing time. Was that luck? Isn’t that your

Chris 11:45
horse? My pony.

Haney 11:50
Run Run. The nightmare of just a garage running across the field with intent to ride. Look, it’s your horse. I’m like, this is like Shrek and Donkey. Yeah, donkey. Chris seems to have found his horse.

Chris 12:05
A horse of course. Yeah, I can’t target

Haney 12:08
the horse appears to be stuck in a cell.

Chris 12:12
Can’t do can’t can’t. No. That’s fine. So yeah, kind of a farmhouse. It seems like it’s attached to a

Haney 12:20
barn called mama’s house. Yeah, I don’t really know why there’s no mom I haven’t found mama yet. There’s no mom. Oh, there’s my mama. Mama Moo Yeah, is mama Moo their mom I didn’t get that impression. I didn’t get that impression either.

Chris 12:33
So we got a house we got a barn and then kind of around the perimeter of this like field that encompasses Romani Ranch. You have Chickies house. Yeah. Which is

Haney 12:44
it’s a the the cuckoo house I believe it’s what it’s called. With turkeys are chickens in our cuckoo I don’t know how people say I said cuckoo. Because it’s not like cuck but yeah, but cookies. cuckoos. Yeah, that’s a

Chris 12:59
cuckoo clock. Now a cuckoo

Unknown Speaker 13:01
clock? Depends on now.

Chris 13:06
Just the way you say it, yeah. And next to the cuckoo house is the dog racetrack which is pretty tight. But you know all this because we were just here the last episode.

Haney 13:18
Yeah. You came in with an agenda though. Yeah, actually, you came in dressed ready to have a real Hidden Valley Ranch of a time?

Chris 13:26
Yeah. And boy, did I because this time when you roll in fares, although we last uh, we have a child, a wee child who goes by the name of Romani. Yeah, cuz she’s named after the ranch. Or the yah, yah, yah, yah, yah for the right. That’s

Haney 13:41
literally what she says I’m named after the ranch. Yeah. Men distinguishing between a cattle ranch and ranch dressing is it’s getting harder, very difficult. And it shouldn’t have but we’ve been making so many of relentless ranch dressing jokes that it’s becoming a problem for me. Yeah. I like ranch dressing.

Chris 13:59
There’s not really a good vegan ranch dressing. I found. I like ranch flavored things. Like

Haney 14:06
Ken’s peppercorn Steakhouse. Ranch is probably one of the best because it’s got like little stinky. That are tasty. thingies. Yeah, like that. But enough about ranch dressing. Let’s talk about cattle ranches in this case. Not a cattle ranch at all. But it is a cattle ranch. There’s cows there are cattle but our cattle bulls only not milk cows like you don’t call it dairy farm or ranch. You call it a dairy farm. You know, I mean, though,

Chris 14:34
there’s barely a certain definition of ranch. Yeah, I

Haney 14:37
feel like ranch has the I always associate ranches with horses and bulls. Not with

Chris 14:42
well, they don’t have to because otherwise, like if it was just those they wouldn’t say cattle ranch. They would just say ranch. Right?

Haney 14:50
Yeah, yeah, so tweener. That’s what a horse lives in. Been waiting a whole season for that to become a relevant joke again.

Chris 15:00
Oh, god damn. So we talked to Romani after shooting down a scary looking okay, so you come up to this girl Romani and kind of floating by her head is a balloon ghost monster looking thing.

Haney 15:13
We’ve seen a couple of balloons in this game too. Yeah,

Chris 15:16
very hot with the Zelda crowd. Yeah, you get

Haney 15:19
kind of two flavors of balloons up to this point in the game. Yes, tingles balloon, which is most delicious. It tastes like certified tingle. His balloon is his means of conveyance, so we don’t fault him for having a balloon. And then we got the majority flavored balloon. So you’ve popped to Madrid maths balloons to my knowledge. Sure. And this one looks like a monster. Yeah, it’s not majority. It’s not tingle. No,

Chris 15:47
now I just monster. Yeah, it’s

Haney 15:49
like a red like ghosty esque kind of like a race. Yeah, that comes to mind. Wraith is a great term. So for those of you who are familiar with Zelda and Zelda lore, this is a bow, which are based off of POWs in real life. I’m pretty sure it’s also what they call them, which is a spirit. That’s weird. Why is that here?

Chris 16:09
I don’t know. But I went with my first instinct and whipped out my bone shot it Yeah. and explode it.

Haney 16:15
Whenever you see anything balloon ask. Your first tendency is to shoot into it. But wouldn’t yours be always has been? That was a condom joke listeners.

Chris 16:27
What’s going on with this?

Haney 16:28
What’s going on with what it looks like? A

Chris 16:30
scary kind of pumpkin balloon? Maybe? A little balloon with

Haney 16:33
a little face on it and a little lantern hanging from it. It’s like floating up and down.

Chris 16:37
See if I can shoot it down wild. West via your arrows. No, my slingshot. Yeah, honestly shot. What do you mean? What do you talk you how I just slay shot? No. What’s the Zelda game without a slingshot?

Haney 16:51
This game? Yeah, he blew up the balloon. Right?

Chris 16:55
But I wanted the balloon.

Haney 16:57
You shot it with an arrow to be fair, like you weren’t ever gonna get it. Oh, who’s this? Hey, here’s a bow.

Chris 17:02
My bow is bigger. So I blow up the condom and nothing really happened. It’s that’s fine. So I talked to Romani. Okay.

Haney 17:17
Oh, I’m sorry. I was just enjoying my afternoon with my best friend laugh and giggle

Chris 17:22
know that

Haney 17:24
for serious witnesses serious business time. All right. Well talk to me about that. Well, Romanies.

Chris 17:30
She basically says, hey, my sister doesn’t believe me. But there’s ghosts who have been coming around and snatch it up our cows. Hey, who are you? Yeah, I’m Romani. I was given the same name as the ranch.

Haney 17:47
The ranch dressing specifically,

Chris 17:49
what’s your name? Yeah, need to know my name. Well, all right, then. How about grasshopper? That’s the name Romani gives you

Haney 18:00
Chris refused to tell her his name. See you’re wearing

Chris 18:03
green clothes. And you pet her about when you walk. So grasshopper. It is pitter patter. Romani was practicing for tonight. Tonight, they are coming. That’s why they read. I don’t know if I don’t like it.

Haney 18:18
Ah, so the same screen just

Chris 18:19
faded to black. And now there’s a red sun. They, they come at night, every year when the carnival approaches. They come riding in a bright shining ball, a whole lot of them come down. They abduct our cows. And then they come to the barn.

Haney 18:38
So couple of things. She calls them them, or they, which is highlighted in red, which is terrifying. Yeah, you also get a nifty little cutscene when she describes them to you, which is just straight up like UFO abduction. Literally just aliens coming from the sky. She’s like, they come down in a bright white ball and they like go to the barn and they target our cows and they do something to the cows. We don’t really know what. That’s how that goes. That’s an alien a bee. She relentlessly speaks in the third person for no reason. And it gets very confusing later when you witness a conversation between her and her sister, because she’s referring to herself in the third person while talking to her sister. So it sounds like her sister’s just talking at her like and it’s not a conversation at all. Yeah, yeah,

Chris 19:25
it’s no, it’s fine.

Haney 19:28
So she comes up to you shows you a little bit about these aliens. And then she’s like, I need you. I need an assistant to be my assistant. Tell me your name. Chris says no, go fuck yourself. Yeah, which makes her call you grasshopper. Literally the rest of the time. That’s fine, because you’re green and you make a little pitter patter noises when you hear when you run. Yeah. What she doesn’t know is Chris just the rest of the recording was violently rubbing his calves together trying to make noise. Oh, there it is. So I’m gonna get that correct. It

Chris 20:02
my elder sister won’t believe me, but Romani must protect the cows. Hey, grasshopper. I’m recruiting for an assistant right now. Your boy will you try?

Unknown Speaker 20:11
Yeah, yeah, sure.

Chris 20:15
I mean, try what though? Are you gonna try or what? Try what she hasn’t given me anything.

Haney 20:20
Are you going to be her assistant? What’s

Unknown Speaker 20:21
the job? Chris?

Chris 20:25
Yeah, okay,

Haney 20:26
sometimes you just have to agree.

Chris 20:28
Great. Now that’s the spirit grasshopper. Okay, then I’m going straight into my strategy. After you are calling a new job.

Unknown Speaker 20:37
Yeah, it’s

Chris 20:38
your new role I’m employed now. That’s good. I’m a member of society profitably.

Haney 20:43
We’ve been trying for a while. Yeah, at this point. She’s like, here’s how it works. I’m gonna give you two minutes to ride this horse all around the farm and shoot 10 balloons that look like the monsters? Because like, no problem. Easy. And does it and looks good doing it too, if I might add

Chris 21:01
pretty hot. So you get your horse. Yeah, this is the first time I’ve sat on a poner the whole game. This is little. That’s pretty cool. Yeah, she’s she’s. We bet bay horse

Haney 21:13
I learned recently that pony does not mean baby horse like I thought it did. It’s literally a different type of horse. Yes. Yeah. I didn’t know that. I think they’re called false. False. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know if that’s a gender thing. Like I don’t know if it’s like male horses are called summon female hers. I have no idea. I don’t mail like adult horses are called stallions. But no, that’s what they call me. Oh, yeah. My stallion.

Chris 21:38
So when you’re on a poena, you got some like carrots that kind of represent how fast you can drive her.

Haney 21:45
And you only have five of them. So like when you run out? There’s like a cooldown time before they replenish. Yeah. So as to not just essentially like milk, riding her as fast as you can.

Chris 21:57
Right? And spinning a carrot just kind of gives her a boost of speed. Yeah. And when you’re riding her, you can switch your bow, which is pretty cool. Because she’ll keep like running in the direction you’re aiming. Yeah, yeah. Which is very neat. While you’re firing it stuff. And that’s what we did. We rode around, we shot those balloons,

Haney 22:15
and you nailed it. No problem. I think your time was one minute, 30 seconds, which is pretty decent, considering you had to learn how to ride drive the horse drive. Yeah, let’s learn how to drive the horse and then learn how to shoot while driving. Yeah, I’m still not good at that.

Chris 22:31
I had a really good time with it.

Haney 22:33
You said several times that it was your favorite minigame. So very fun. I really enjoyed this one, too. I find it very difficult because I’m very not dexterous. And I’m very I have very bad like hand eye coordination. So I’m not good at it. But I do enjoy. Yeah. Link has very bad. Oh, love it. i Yeah, fucking can and now, I love that for me.

Chris 22:54
They’ll appear all over the wrench. They’ll aim for that barn and approach it slowly. So hit them with arrows so they can’t get in. He got that you mustn’t leave the ranch. Let’s practice right away. There are 10 Ghost shaped balloons in the ranch. So hurry and burst them all. If you take over two minutes, you’re out. The current record is

Haney 23:12
one hour. Think it’s one one hour isn’t one hour. One day.

Chris 23:18
Are you ready? Boy, I wasn’t ready for this.

Unknown Speaker 23:21
Ah, a horse.

Chris 23:22
I never asked for a job.

Haney 23:24
So, Chris, do you appear to be on horseback now riding around Romani Ranch on in Pomona. And your goal is to to shoot every balloon that’s shaped like one of the things she calls them ghosts, but they’re clearly aliens.

Chris 23:42
Yeah, they’re definitely abducting and making love to the cows. Right. Pardon? What?

Haney 23:47
Chris? Sex doesn’t have

Chris 23:52
a pony. This is beautiful.

Haney 23:53
Oh, yeah, she keeps running by the way as your arrow and so yeah, apparently. Oh, God. Oh, nice. Don’t leave. You mustn’t leave the ranch. We found

Chris 24:02
out I know you’ve been trapped here. But we have business doing well. Actually. Yeah. We always knew. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 24:11
Oh, God. Oh, good. All right, one more. One more. Ah, little Hi. Hello. Hi. Oh, hello. Nailed it.

Chris 24:22
Easy. A lot of fun. Yeah. I think that’s my favorite mini game so far. is a really good one. When 3686 That’s great. You to work perfectly together. No, I’ll teach Romanies horse calling song to Grasshopper. And just to rub my feet together to make this buzzing noise.

Haney 24:42
vibrating at a high frequency tone is like no.

Chris 24:44
Thank you. Please stop. So you got to pull the song

Haney 24:49
now. Pretty tight. Hell yeah. And also the cage has gone from around opponents so you can just take her whenever.

Chris 24:56
Excellent. And boy does he Yeah, we’re out of there. err, I’ve got what I came for.

Haney 25:01
Actually, before we do that though. Oh, chicken time, Romani gets added to your notebook as well as the indication to go to the farm at she says to tonight, which is really annoying because she means two in the morning. But that’s not the same day like day’s work we are in this game, we’re at six to six instead of midnight to midnight. So, because of that, it’s like day one at 2am. But like in my head, I’m just like, this is technically day two. Now I really don’t like this, but it’s fine, whatever. So Chris, being the lover of animals that he is, decides to go visit the other animal houses here at the Romani Zoo. Yeah. Goes to the cook house. That’s what I thought you said he goes to the cook house. It’s like a worst Blumhouse productions Cast Production. That’s our production. Yeah.

Chris 25:53
So we roll into that. Don’t you take it listener? So we roll into the cookhouse, and mostly it’s just filled with a little Chickies and the guy and the guy

Haney 26:07
heard it from my gramps says the moon’s gonna fall with something that big. It’s sure to take this ranch down with it. Oh, well. My only regret is that I won’t get to see these guys in their prime is roosters.

Chris 26:22
Oh, is that why? Is there like a joke there? Because he’s got the Mohawk and like rooster. Maybe?

Haney 26:29
You know I? Yeah, I thought you had you know I’m talking about Ah, yeah. I thought you had figured something else?

Chris 26:34
No. I think what I figured out though, is pretty important. Yeah. Yeah. Was there something to figure out about him?

Haney 26:41
Well, he wants to see them as restricts. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris 26:45
How do I make grow?

Haney 26:47
When you look in your inventory, see what you got? Dig at this guy a little bit. Is he okay? I bounced back and forth violently between he is so not okay. Or he’s just like, figured it out. He’s like the most okay, that anyone has ever been. Yeah. And I’m not sure which. I think he’s pretty okay. He’s kind of nihilist. He’s like he looks like a punk. So he’s shirtless. He has spiked Mohawk.

Chris 27:13
joggers, bikers, I think in Pokemon. Yes,

Haney 27:16
yeah, yeah, definitely. Um, I think his name was Grog. Or Greg. I can’t really remember. He’s, he’s a character that gets added to your bomber notebook, though. And you got to figure out how to help him out because he wants to see his little Chickies grow up. Chris. This is when your thought process. So just,

Chris 27:33
I just want to remark this is going to be kind of a strange episode because we’re re describing everything that already happened in the previous episode, but you don’t remember any of the previous episodes. So you’re just approaching it as completely new.

Haney 27:46
Yeah, that’s fine. Okay, I’m fine with that. Okay, good. And listeners. You’re fine with that now, too. You’re welcome. I just released you from any sort of anxiety you had about it. Okay. Excellent. That’s all it takes. Yeah, they chose to listen to us. Just saying.

Chris 28:00
Yeah, don’t remind them.

Haney 28:05
You’re still held hostage.

Chris 28:06
So Grog. He’s cool. My thought process. Yeah, there’s no solventless you can’t get your thought process last row up the chickens. What was your thought process this time though? Same thing. Yeah. But but you halted me. Yes. And told you you have everything you need. Yeah. You said what do you got? Let’s look through your inventory.

Haney 28:28
See what’s going on here. I mean, you can’t just write it off without having a good old fashioned college try.

Chris 28:35
Yeah, so I whip out my puppies. And I kind of just equip three different masks. Yeah, like let’s trial them. See what

Haney 28:43
see what we got. So pig mask, blank blank. That’s the mask of sense mask a pig. Chris just trying to stiffen some chickens doesn’t really act now. Next one you use was the daikon mask doesn’t do shit turns you into a de que. What do you want? Why don’t you try though, was the Bremen’s mask, which is one that you have not really used much. Now, this is a mask that has like a bird face. It’s kind of like a visor like it’s not really a full face mask. It’s just like, like a masquerade mask just like covers your eyes. And it’s like a bird face. Yeah. When you’re wearing it. You can hold down one of the buttons on the controller and march and it plays a jaunty tune and Lync merges

Chris 29:22
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo that’s

Unknown Speaker 29:24
dddd dddd dddd

Haney 29:28
that’s not it either.

Unknown Speaker 29:32
Dan dented and Dan nn intent and tijden

Chris 29:38
you’re here Yeah, so you put that on. Chicken start following

Haney 29:43
yeah to get like a little like did it like correct Yeah, did it kid Yes. What do you got the chicken which tells you to keep keep doing this? Yeah, what’s about to ensue listener and then we’re gonna give you full warning. Is a couple of minutes of gameplay. unedited It did. Because I want you to have this. Listen to not not not you listener Chris. I’m talking to Chris. I want Chris to have to sit and listen to all his editing. Alright, so what are you doing? Explain to the audience at home what you’ve decided on this year.

Chris 30:15
I’ve put three masks in my quick slots. I’m gonna try them all on and blanket the chicks.

Haney 30:21
So mascot sense appears to not make the chickens want to do anything. That’s nightmare fuel, though. I

Chris 30:28
wish Beskow sense did something. It

Haney 30:31
does something I don’t remember what. Oh, all right. So Chris is put on the Bremen Mask and he’s walking around clicking in the chat. And he’s getting a lot of positive feedback from the chickens, following them around as he marches like my tunes and the song.

Chris 30:47
I’m there, Mama now.

Haney 30:48
Yeah, there’s a lot of them. Might take a few minutes. I just did this mission not too long ago on the switch. And it took like three minutes to just walk around and collect all the chickens and I was like, Oh my god. How many chickens do you have so far?

Chris 31:04
1234. I got five babies. Right now. I have six babies.

Haney 31:09
Chris is a good mother. Yeah.

Chris 31:12
So yeah, it’s a lot of chicks. And not a lot of roosters.

Haney 31:16
This is a cuckoo farm.

Chris 31:17
Where’d they come from?

Haney 31:18
I assume that they did the normal thing that you do, which is after the chickens give birth you slaughter them. And then now you raise the next.

Chris 31:29
That’s okay. Thank you start playing. Yes. And cheeky start following you. Yeah. And then more start following you.

Haney 31:36
There’s a lot of Chickies and a lot of Chickies count. Did you count? There’s like 10? Probably 1010. Maybe a baker’s dozen called 12? Yeah,

Chris 31:44
that’s how they measure your chickens. Yeah,

Haney 31:46
I mean, probably baker’s dozen this 13? Not 12, isn’t it? Yeah. Because it’s one extra just in case. Yeah.

Chris 31:53
So we got the chickens. They’re all fine. Yeah, I spent a good couple minutes walking around clucking chickens, picking them up, put them in our pockets, and then

Haney 32:04
they started exploding into adulthood. So as soon as you violent puberty you’ve ever seen starts ensuing. Oh, what’s happening now, Chris? I don’t know. So now Chris has collected all the chickens and they’re all adulting. Why? What the fuck is the power of the Bremen Mask? Is it? Yeah, it’s literally that’s when always when did we restrain when you collect it? It’s it tells you that

Chris 32:31
it? Yeah, fucking grows animals up.

Haney 32:35
It tells you that animals will follow you with it. Well, yeah,

Chris 32:38
I understood that part. I didn’t understand the rapid aging process happens.

Unknown Speaker 32:44
You look upset. So it doesn’t make any sense. No, no, not at all. There’s nothing

Chris 32:49
that would lead you to believe that once you have all the chickens collected, they’ll just explode into adults. But there’s nothing

Haney 32:58
for you to know that figuring out that puzzle when I was like puzzle tech. Here’s

Chris 33:02
the solution doesn’t make sense. There’s no way to solve it.

Haney 33:06
Figuring out that mind game. When I was like 10 has it’s a mindfuck stuck with me for so long. Like I will always remember that that like how to solve that one. If nothing else, it’ll just be that one. There’s no analogous

Chris 33:21
to believe that. That’s fine. That’s not how things work. The match doesn’t have a power to advanced aging. And we should

Haney 33:30
put the official game description on the mask real fast. I want to see what like what it says when you Yeah, Braman mask, it says

Chris 33:38
Elachi, tu tu tu tu tu tu tu tu and also it doesn’t work on frogs, which is bullshit.

Haney 33:44
So if you show it to the Happy Mask Salesman, he says that is the Bremen Mask, isn’t it? If you have that, then it would appear you have the qualities of a leader. Yeah, there’s no there’s nothing here out there. I

Chris 33:55
mean, I did lead them. Well, that’s

Haney 33:57
enough Wikipedia. So yeah, well,

Chris 34:01
hey, I successfully lead my flock through their adolescence into adulthood.

Haney 34:08
And now you’ve made growing happy and got a little skimpy in your notebook for it. Yeah. Not only that, he gave you a Prezi Yeah,

Chris 34:14
I got a bunny mask. Yeah.

Haney 34:18
Actually is what it’s called. It’s called the hood. It is called the hood. It’s one of the few masks in the game. That’s not called a mask. It’s called the bunny hood.

Chris 34:25
All right. Well, what it is, is a pair of bunny years. Yeah, it’s

Haney 34:28
um, holy shit. I do not remember the name of these things. But like, girls, when were younger used to wear these like things in their hair that were like a headband. Is that what they’re called? That were like, half shaped like that? I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s like a It’s a type of headband. I feel like it has a specific name. But like, I don’t see people wearing them anymore. But it’s just like one of those were the years on it. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I’m talking about? I’m not sure. Yeah. Me there. Yeah. Tweet at us.

Chris 34:57
Tweet at us. What loves your hair

Haney 34:59
concern? I hear you can have this from me. Ah, you got the bunny hood. My what long years that has well the power of the wild spring forth. Yeah, these guys are all roosters. You fulfilled the wishes of youth. This was added to

Chris 35:18
your notebook. So they’re gonna be eaten, though.

Haney 35:20
I mean, the moon is going to eat everything. So Chris has now plucked one of the roosters up and is carrying it around.

Chris 35:28
That’s my baby. I get to keep it. Yeah,

Haney 35:31
they say that that’s true. Whenever you go to a farm if one chicken policy you’re legally allowed to take it with you. You have a bunny bunny hood. Yeah, what’s that do?

Chris 35:39
turns me into a bunny? Is it? I assure you,

Haney 35:42
but um, no. Okay. Yeah, makes you run faster.

Chris 35:48
Yeah, now I have jiggle physics. Oh, god. What? So the bunny hood is pretty cool, because it lets you run real fast. Yeah, and fast fast. Whip it Yeah. lets you jump real fast. And lets you pump out babies real fast. All the good qualities of a

Haney 36:05
rabbit. Wait, what was that rabbit? Ah, yeah.

Chris 36:09
So that’s cool. Yeah,

Haney 36:10
I like it. I’m here for it.

Chris 36:12
My job here is done. What do you think the use of that is running? Hani? Are you listening? I’m sure the big hops will help you with reading stuff. Maybe you previously couldn’t access that is one thing. Probably not going to use them at the bunnies too often. Except I just keep it on my head.

Haney 36:28
I was gonna say you tired? He literally wearing the entire episode? Yeah, at one point you were so good. You were getting aggressive with the milk bar owner because you’ve refused to take it off.

Chris 36:38
I’m just saying you should be able to wear the years over anything. Yeah, born bunny ears. Yes. Fucking scrub with bunny ears. Hey, okay, like, what’s the problem?

Haney 36:47
Let’s talk about dog racing.

Chris 36:50
Is that what I do next? Yeah, so

Haney 36:51
you took one stab at dog racing this afternoon? Thank God it was only once. All right? You head out of the cookhouse and head over to mama Moo yawns place which is obviously a dog racing track who wouldn’t know that? And this is the final kind of establishment that’s part of the Romani Ranch.

Chris 37:09
This ranch is dog ranch more than anything else. There’s more dogs. There’s more. There’s

Haney 37:12
three cows one cuckoo at the ranch like at the Ranch House. And then there’s 12 New cookies over at the Cutco.

Chris 37:20
Roosters now,

Unknown Speaker 37:21
but there’s like 50 dogs.

Chris 37:25
What you are coming here out loud at Did you read that sign? This is mama Moo yawns doggy race track. You want to try a dog race? The minimum bet is 10 rupees. The first going and fetch the doggy that you think will run the fastest and bring it here. All right, which dog do I want? This one seems pretty excited. Yeah. Excellent. When take this one it’s really happy. Cool.

Haney 37:51
Did you figure out the trick to discover which dog is the best dog Chris? Yeah, I think so. Is that doggy fine?

Chris 37:57
Is that doggy? Fine? Yeah. If your dog sucks, you’ll lose whatever you bet

Unknown Speaker 38:04

Haney 38:06
people why that’s fine. Do whatever you want. I can’t is it just 50 5040 rupees 20 rupees then All right. All right. Hani make me proud. Go Alright, so Chris’s dog is bringing up the rear crike I’m sure he’s just the slow burner, though. At least it takes after its master. Yeah. You just sprint right at the end, right. Just know it was taken up the rear joke. Ah, nice. Kevin six this time? No, I wrote it down. Yeah, yeah. You said that’s enough of that. Actually got kicked out. Oh, 8pm. Yeah. And then after that. You said it’s eight. I don’t have to be back here till two. Yeah, what am I gonna do for six hours?

Chris 38:53
How about steal a horse? Yeah,

Haney 38:55
so you steal opponents? Yeah, and you write opponent out into termina field. Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue please support us at patreon.com/first encounter. Find our socials and contact info at first encounter podcast.com Please stop by and say hey, our intro and outro music is by Alden Zach join a year member station F E P are

Chris 39:22
the P stands for P

Haney 39:25
I was gonna say podcast first encounter podcast radio. Okay, yeah. For all your needs. Nailed it. Yeah, that’s Ivan Kasane Fe PR. On an FE PR shirt now.

Chris 39:35
Sign up for our producer Jerry will send you a np n P A P R.

Haney 39:41
n Fe PR producer circle shirt. Yeah, circle shirt, the blessed popular cousin to the circle

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