Our 100% perfect Snowhead Temple run continues, and thankfully, concludes. I stand victorious, a champion among the  ̶s̶a̶v̶e̶d̶  fairies. Remains in hand, I saunter out of the cleared temple, Haney’s mouth agape in admiration. 

❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.

View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript
Haney 0:05
Hey listener first encountered is an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Well, well well. It isn’t well soccer players walking up to my podcast. Look who the 12 Cats dragged in. Is this you serving me my my humble pie after being scorned for my opinions on deaths and fairies? Do you want

Chris 0:31
to let everyone know what the consensus has been heading after our people reached out to us?

Haney 0:36
The overwhelming consensus was that no fairy dust do not count towards a death counter, and therefore I am incorrect. And I was rudely reminded of how Phoenix Down works in Final Fantasy seven

Unknown Speaker 0:52
and it was very rude. I saw here i Yeah, here I was unnecessarily mean just

Haney 0:59
eating my humble pie crying. While Chris yells at me it’s all over your face. I didn’t even know what humble tasted like how does it taste bad I don’t like it. You know me and my pride.

Unknown Speaker 1:14
Saying always has his prize.

Haney 1:16
Oh my right. So here we are. Heading in tail wind at our back. I don’t know if that’s what that means. Oh, into Episode 16 where Chris shows his lead programmer skills and we get through this temple.

Chris 1:37
The show must go on. Unfortunately for

Haney 1:39
everyone really? The world at large. Here we are. Here we are. But before we get into any of that nonsense, Chris we got some some folks I’d like to think so. This week, we want to send a huge thank you to all of our x potion tier members like Josh, Joan fumbling for and the almighty crit Cody, Calabria. Brendan, Ben. And Alex.

Chris 2:03
Beautiful. Thank you so much. We also have our producers to thank, thank you so much, Dr. J. Denise and August left the theory making the dream.

Haney 2:14
I was gonna say dream work makes the cream work.

Unknown Speaker 2:17
Yeah. That’s what they say. Yeah. Then being asked now from now on,

Haney 2:24
can we have a T shirt that says teamwork makes the dream work or dream? makes the dream work? I don’t really care. I

Unknown Speaker 2:29
just want it all on there. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 2:31
Team cream makes the dream. Yes.

Chris 2:35
I’m switching our I’m switching our extra life to Team cream.

Haney 2:38
Yeah, that seems appropriate for children and fundraising. I

Chris 2:42
don’t know if we’ve actually mentioned but we should probably say that we are back for extra life this year. As we have been for the previous two year

Haney 2:50
three. You excited? Okay. I’m

Chris 2:51
pretty excited. This will be yes. Sorry. Shut up.

Haney 2:55
I’m sorry. Speaking

Chris 2:56
of sorry. Yeah, you’re three pretty cool. Yeah, you know, it’s more exciting than that is the cool, cool stuff we’re working on for it. Oh, what, uh,

Haney 3:06
what are we working on for it? So we actually have goals this time. Ah, you know, Chris, you’ve always told me that I need a goal in life. I’m glad that you’re here to help me orchestrate.

Chris 3:16
No. What I’ve said was you need new goals because your goals concern me. Yeah, that’s fair. Massively. Yeah, that’s fair. But yeah, for extra life. We got some stretch goals. So if we make it to $500 Of course, it’s all to charity. We’re going to do a nice chill, relaxing, wholesome tea stream time. We’re just gonna play some pleasant games. We’re gonna have a good time. We’re just going to be overall happy drink. Drink some tea. Yeah, maybe get some boba?

Haney 3:46
Can we enforce happiness? Can we just yell you have to be happy at each other? If one of us isn’t having

Chris 3:51
fun? I assume that’s primarily how we would approach it.

Haney 3:55
Yeah, right. Fair. Perfect. That sounds lovely. What else we got?

Chris 4:00
If we can reach $1,000 For extra life, by the end of the year, I’ve been told that you’re gonna lead me in a game of Dungeons and Dragons. We’re

Haney 4:09
gonna take your hand. To be fair. I think I said, tabletop RPG just in case we don’t want to use associated with Dungeons and Dragons. I don’t really care. Well, actually, maybe I don’t know.

Chris 4:23
That’s a game for big ol nerds. I understand.

Haney 4:26
Yeah, I’m gonna take Chris on his first TTRPG adventure with me as the Dungeon Master and Chris as a player, hopefully not the only player but potentially the only player.

Chris 4:39
It’s just going to be for me, I’m going to be playing for different characters. That actually

Haney 4:43
sounds like a nightmare. And it may or may not be the end, we’ll see. Hopefully, we hit the goal and then have a little time to think about what engine we want to use, etc, etc. But yeah, go head over to our Extra Life page. I’m sure the link will be in the description. You can toss us some money and we can toss that money to extra life. And then we can toss you some Silesian funsies. I’m really excited. Yeah, mate, you

Chris 5:10
should be a blast.

Haney 5:11
Do we have any idea what we’re playing? Yeah,

Chris 5:14
the way we’re choosing the games that we’re going to be streaming this year is entirely through donations. So when you donate, just drop a comment and let us know what game you’re voting for us to play. And however many dollars you donate, that’s how many votes that game will get. I’ve fixed all that, though. So we already know everything that’s coming. Yeah, that’s fair. That’s not That’s not true. Don’t

Haney 5:33
Don’t email me. I assume you’re cutting most of it.

Chris 5:37
Well, what fun that is. So yeah. To summarize, I’ve come out on top of the Great Fairy debate, as was foretold.

Haney 5:46
Yeah, I always assumed that Chris would be coming on top of the fairy

Chris 5:48
and on top of you, please, as we are now. But Danny, you know what’s better than crunching down on juicy fairies?

Unknown Speaker 5:57
consume their souls crunching down on liquefied coffee beans. Yeah, I was gonna say sucking down the coffee bean soul. Yeah,

Haney 6:05
we said the same thing. Yeah. Okay. This week, I’m going to have an anecdote for y’all. My father in law has started drinking uncommon coffee from our wonderful sponsor, uncommon vt.com. And it’s turned him into a massive, massive coffee fan. He

Unknown Speaker 6:22
we call them coffee heads, which

Haney 6:26
he has since purchased a very nice coffeemaker. It’s very complicated. It has like multiple, like, spouts and things I don’t really understand it. I’m not gonna lie to you, Chris will probably know what it is. I’ll find the name Chris will figure out what it is and tell you next time maybe if we even remotely remember this. It’s now his entire identity.

Chris 6:48
It’s all we asked for. And hopefully eventually, the world will be overtaken by coffee blooded drinkers out there.

Haney 6:57
That’s what I that’s what I hope for so if you listener want to be like my father in law, go to uncommon vt.com Go to the store page. Check out some of their delightful where some coffee maybe a t shirt. Enter that promo code. Good. Good. All one word. You’ll get 10% off your order. Who doesn’t love 10% off of coffee? I know I do. So head over to uncommon vt.com today and buy some coffee.

Chris 7:21
Oh yeah. Boy, you know honey, all this talk of grinding and been sucking has really reminded me of why we’re here in the first place. You know,

Haney 7:29
I forgot what is this podcast about?

Chris 7:32
Well, I think it’s about time we dive back into frankly terrible temple.

Haney 7:37
Yeah, no good. But hey,

Chris 7:39
at least we’re here together. Thanks for Thanks for being here folks. And here we go

Haney 7:56
you all tweet at us at one St. Encounter pod? And tell us if Chris gets saved after a death by a fairy? Does it count?

Chris 8:08
No, that’s a one is that’s a one up it doesn’t

Haney 8:11
matter you died still I

Chris 8:13
didn’t die. Back what is dead can never die. Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter but the reason I brought that up pennies because if you do put to alternate death counts. I want the fairy one to be you. Like squished down with those stupid last fairy faces. Yeah, your big ol booty. Oh,

Haney 8:29
yeah. Me as a fairy. Yeah, just like circling your little link head. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, that’s what I want. Hey, so we maybe ratchet a death counter up by one or a fairy booty death counter up by one who knows Tweet us? Yeah. You got another strip area after this point. But who fucking? Yeah, okay, cool. So at this point, you make your way into a side room off of the central chamber. On I think the second or third floor doesn’t really matter. And that offshoot has a button in it, they haven’t pressed yet. When you press that button, a central pillar, just rockets up from the center of the room. Kind of connecting stuff for you at the top where you can like jump between like platforms now. But it also means that all the lower floors of the central chamber that were previously accessible are all fucking cut off and that you can’t do shit if you fall down. Seems like you’re crushing it now that you got fires. Yeah, I’ve basically figured it out. I’d say so. So what rooms Haven’t you been in at this point?

Chris 9:33
Nothing. I’ve been in everything. Excellent. What’s this?

Haney 9:37
You got?

Chris 9:38
I don’t care. Ah, it’s

Haney 9:43
all coming together now. Nailed it. Oh. Bushes happened. Flying pods?

Chris 9:53
I didn’t know there are mimics in this I also didn’t I don’t give a shit about these poopy fairies stray fairy Fuck. Can you get down there link? Link?

Haney 10:07
Yeah, I thought you were gonna roll straight up for a second. I was really stoked about it. That would have been ideal. Yeah. I feel like if you have spikes they should spike you up. Yes then and then you go.

Chris 10:18
Just like real life like caterpillar? Yeah.

Haney 10:22
If I wrote a word for you, I want you to. I want you to say it for me. Your caterpillar? No, I didn’t already know. No one knows how to pronounce this word in the world. I do. It’s knowledge has been lost of time. But this is, this is what your spikes reminded me of.

Chris 10:39
Penis. Alright, you nail it. I told you I know how to pronounce it. The word I wrote many times was

Haney 10:45
p i t o n s which is either pitons or batons and I’ve heard both and I have no idea what it is.

Chris 10:52
Sound off in the comments below.

Haney 10:55
Ah, oh, sure. I am now raised up as they say

Chris 10:59
you raise me so I can jump across CASS You Raise Me can stand over here. Ah. Whoever designed this fucking dungeon. I’m not talking about the game designers. I’m talking about whoever designed canonically in game this dungeon and built the like floor plans for it. Oh, you mean like fucking

Haney 11:24
whatever. Monster gore. I was just like, I’m doing this. Like whatever architects was like, Yeah, this is how we build this temple now. Yeah, no, good. So you move on to trying to figure out basically what to do with the central column now. And you figured out that if you’re gone, you can like punch pieces out of it like Jenga. Yeah. So if you think of the central pillar as like a Jenga tower, it has like slices of ice that it’s made up of. It’s not all the way through slices of ice. So you can’t knock the whole thing out. But you can knock bits of it down, you can make it shorter, or you can like go and press the button to raise it back up. It did a whole bunch of that you had to punch that tower. So you were able to move up a floor. And at this point, you started going off of the rooms in this floor central tower. And you fight to dine or close your favorite. That’s how fight was rough for you.

Chris 12:17
No, no. We’re gonna pause here. Hey, how do you how would you say I did? Why don’t you describe the fight for our listeners, from your perspective?

Haney 12:26
I think I opened up by saying I’ve never seen you use your shield in this game. Yeah, sounds familiar. And then you were like, I don’t need it as you pull it out and start using it. Um, it was basically just Chris aggressively getting attacked from both sides and missing and swinging at each diner alphas like at the wrong time. So they just kept like dodging back and like, obviously you’re outnumbered. So it’s unfair, anyway, by design, but it could have been better.

Chris 12:53
I don’t know. I sort of say it was a garden. It was no problem.

Haney 12:56
Well Goron and you were like, it just started punching. Oh, yeah.

Chris 13:01
Well, you want figured this out? Well, you have to do. You got to punch it. Punch. What? This this ice? Why? Because it breaks. Ah, but I’m not sure how I want it. What level am I on right now?

Unknown Speaker 13:13
Can you take me? Hi, you get up there?

Haney 13:20
Just walking through a flow.

Chris 13:22
Maybe you didn’t see me? No. Yeah, he’s

Haney 13:25
you said dynamos.

Chris 13:27
There’s two of them. There’s two of them. There’s two of them. Yeah, there’s two of them. There’s two of them. Walk on.

Haney 13:35
I haven’t seen you use your shield at all in this game.

Chris 13:37
Why would I? Jesus Christ. All right. All right.

Unknown Speaker 13:44
Poncho Paanch Falcon,

Chris 13:47
Falcon, but booty M Show him your

Unknown Speaker 13:51

Haney 13:54
I think from this point on, you started changing into Goron anytime you needed to fight a wolf house or a diner Alpha. Because you’re just like, I’m not doing this as a human. It’s much better. Have you considered doing it as it did? Absolutely. You picked up a couple more straight areas, and then you melt some ice and go into a new room. And it’s fucking Wizzrobe again, Oh, God. So this is a bigger room. And Wizzrobe has kind of more tiles to move between? Yep. So go ahead and hit me with the descriptor of this room.

Chris 14:26
I mean, it’s like a rectangular shaped room. There’s a bunch of teleporting panels over the place. I think

Haney 14:31
instead of four. Yeah. And there’s also a little raised ledge that you figured out if you could like stand in the right spot on he basically just can’t hit you and you can just shoot him. Yeah, it’s fine. Yeah. You want cool? Yeah. So you headed into a room that is just a whole bunch of independent floaty blocks of ice that you can jump between and three of those have empty torches on them. And it’s pretty clear. I think that you You need to light those. There are freezers in this room, so you have to kill the freezer. It’s first so you do that easy. And then there’s a door that’s barred over with iron bars but not locked. And then there’s a door that’s frozen over. So you melt the frozen over door with a fire arrow and you find out that it’s just unlocking a shortcut back to the central chamber. So you’re like, Alright, how the fuck do I get this other door open? I’m so used to playing a Zelda game that it was painfully obvious to me immediately that you just like the three charges and the bars go up. No, I feel I feel like I figured that it took a minute or two.

Chris 15:35
It took me a minute because I didn’t realize they were going out. Yeah, so of course they do.

Haney 15:39
Also it bothered me how you didn’t go just next to the door and shoot them from the door. No. That’s fine. That’s the wrong spot. All right. Ah,

Chris 15:50
so here we got a bunch of these freeze boys. You don’t love them now and there’s platforms that drop into nothing good.

Haney 15:58
No. There’s empty torches too.

Chris 16:00
Can I like those torches?

Haney 16:02
Maybe if you had a maybe there Yeah, yeah. Chest

Chris 16:07
chesty. Give me my chest to call. The torches aren’t

Haney 16:13
strange. I’m sure that’s a reasonable explanation.

Chris 16:17
There’s always a reasonable explanation.

Haney 16:19
I’m sure there’s an unreasonable one too.

Chris 16:22
I’ll come back here. Let’s see what this sorry all right, this just connects to the other door I locked

Haney 16:30
up why? Chris is standing directly under a torch to shoot the arrow into adult

Chris 16:38
I gotta do it faster.

Haney 16:39
Oh, interesting. What do you think happens when you do it?

Chris 16:43
I’m hoping the locked door opens up we’ll see. Yeah,

Haney 16:47
it seems like there’s only one intelligent way to do this then if that would be the case. Like that. Yeah, close like that. Nailed it. Oh, wow.

Unknown Speaker 16:59

Chris 17:02
G G fuckin easy pumpkin Squeezy. Don’t do that stresses me out.

Haney 17:11
I was trying to

Chris 17:13
we let the bras on fire and we went through the door. Yeah, right.

Haney 17:16
You go in and you get a Bosque. You got the Bosque? Yeah. Excellent. And at this point, now that you have the Bosque, you’re like, Okay, what do I got to do? So I’m gonna take a few minutes, and we started trying to do last chest round up.

Chris 17:30
This is your fucking fault. I find just

Haney 17:34
wrap it up. completionist and it really fucking bugs me when people leave like treasure behind in games and stuff like fucking go get it get the treasure is yours. I’m

Chris 17:43
not going to accommodate you anymore.

Haney 17:45
Go get the treasure. Oh, not.

Chris 17:46
How do I get the other keys though? All right, let’s look at this map. See what rooms and moustache Estes in

Haney 17:57
Jesus Christ.

Chris 17:59
I haven’t been backtracking.

Haney 18:02
It’s almost morning in the third day. God dammit. Retreat.

Chris 18:08
Because big gardens can’t jump.

Unknown Speaker 18:12
You know.

Haney 18:14
Dawn on the final day. 12 hours remain.

Chris 18:19
Here. All right. Interesting.

Haney 18:23
Oh, where is it? Is it there? I mean, I can see where it is. But

Unknown Speaker 18:28
can you? Yeah, look, it’s

Haney 18:30
on your map. Oh, shit.

Chris 18:31
Hey, you’re not helping at

Haney 18:35
it. It’s your pointing at it right now, apparently. So if it’s not right there, it’s probably on the ground. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not on display. Kimberly’s luck and wire. Just trying to help you learn Chris booty Booty booty Booty, trying to help you learn to. It’s okay to walk around and use your math and explore things. I’m going to teach you how to play adventure games on these days.

Chris 18:57
I play point and click adventure games.

Unknown Speaker 19:00
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, oh. One pill mix. The smaller one pill makes you larger.

Haney 19:15
No, the binary. Wait. I’m pretty sure yes, this one. No. There wasn’t that other room where you bombed this one. And had the stairs up.

Chris 19:28
Yeah, honey. I’ve figured it out. Sorry. Sorry. I know exactly what I’m doing. Why won’t I roll up the stairs?

Haney 19:36
Because it’s a cutscene animation. Where am I? Near a chest? Help. So you ended up

Chris 19:45
telling me what treasures I got?

Haney 19:46
I have three notes. All right. I want to read the notes because it’s perfect. Okay. All right. So line one. Last chest round up line to dungeon key. Not bad. Okay, line number three straight fairy You’re not your favorite but whatever. Why number four? Fuck that. So at this point, you said fuck that and you make your way up to the boss.

Chris 20:10
So wait a minute there’s a reason I just want to make it clear there’s a reason I said fuck that to getting all the chests we spent a good chunk of time on this lesson our what I got was what you’ve read you straight ferry a key and that key for the record just unlocks another shortcut. Yeah, that’s how you get a complete, but also it was like 7pm On the third day at this point. That is true. Yes. I was like okay, I’m gonna go after the boss because I don’t got time for this. So now

Haney 20:38
you didn’t have any time for this. Oh, you got a small

Chris 20:42
key Nice. Oh, it’s better than a fairy. What the fuck do you think this does

Haney 20:47
the same opens one of the doors that you want to do open you’ve definitely been in here before. I think it’s just a shortcut room heavy. I’m not sure I wasted

Chris 20:55
my key on that. Maybe all right. Hey, this just is gonna determine if I looked for the other chests. Yeah, based on how good it is.

Haney 21:04
I mean, I’m it’s either gonna be a straight barrier or a dungeon key.

Chris 21:08
I would love a heart piece actually.

Haney 21:11
You’re not gonna get that from a treasure chest buddy. I would discount you having any more hard pieces? Honestly. With how you play the game. How dare you? You’re not you don’t like doing the heartbeat stuff.

Chris 21:24
What are you talking about?

Haney 21:25
Will you run from the enemies you just you hate it all. Straight fairy Let’s go. Nice. Can’t Believe It’s noon on the final day I’m aware. All right. All right. So I think we’re down to what two trustees just one just one just one just one and a boss. Let’s go we got

Chris 21:46
the fairies.

Haney 21:48
Probably from fighting enemies that you’ve been running away from? Or smashing pots or doing any number of things looking under stuff. I’m not saying that there’s a fairy in this room with this whole focus.

Chris 21:59
I want you to know that’s what I’m hearing.

Haney 22:02
I have no idea

Chris 22:05
any of you promise me there would be a fairy? I never saw any you said never said anything on the sorry. You said there would be a fairy right there for me.

Haney 22:16
I said to the way my pot the way you play games is not conducive to how this game is supposed to be played.

Unknown Speaker 22:23
What are you talking about? Run run away and

Haney 22:30
for two or three who gives a shit? I don’t know. How are we doing?

Chris 22:35
I don’t know. I lost Yeah,

Haney 22:37
I don’t know what you’re trying to do again so I’m not sure

know what? I’m just dreading that we’re gonna have to redo the whole temple when we get to the end of the day.

Chris 23:01
You think I can make that from

Haney 23:02
here? Oh, yeah, you got that? No problem. You can you got this. You got this angel dust. Only the penitent man shall pass. What? That was bullshit.

Chris 23:15
Well, that’s enough.

Haney 23:16
Yeah. Go fight fight some boss. Who needs heart pieces? Hmm. You said

Chris 23:21
it wouldn’t be a hard piece

Haney 23:23
to get in the face and probably what do you offer me? You UNLOCK THE BOSS star and you are deposited into a room? Describe the boss I actually so this is my favorite boss design.

Chris 23:35
Well, let’s let’s enter bas room. Yeah, enter me. You enter Hani and what you see is a

Haney 23:42
enter comma Hindi or No? No. Okay, excellent.

Chris 23:47
What did these animals called? They have the two hooves on youth on yields. Yeah, you see what seems

Haney 23:53
mammal? hoofed mammal is what on Guillet means or angelegt? Yeah, pretty sure it’s on Guillet but good undulations.

Unknown Speaker 24:01
Good by horses. Good.

Haney 24:06
Just tuck my penis here. Put on my lips. Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me.

Chris 24:18
Anyway, we’re losing our minds. Yeah, it’s been a long day.

Haney 24:21
We’re all up there.

Chris 24:22
Let’s just so you come into the boss room and you got a hoofed mammal. frozen solid behind ice.

Haney 24:29
So this is masked mechanical monster goat. G O H T.

Chris 24:33
Yeah. Not to be confused with G O A T.

Haney 24:35
Yeah, like Tom Brady. I just fucking get I don’t I do not like Tom Brady. I’m spiking. Kidding. I’m sorry. The go?

Chris 24:43
I don’t care.

Haney 24:47
Christopher so unless you’re talking about my favorite eSports guy CLOUD NINE or whatever. I don’t know. Yeah, cloud nine. Is that a guy?

Chris 24:54
I don’t fucking know. Do follow eSports I just assume you do know

Haney 25:02
Ah, so this is my favorite boss. And mantra is math. All right. Yeah. Can I interest you in that?

Chris 25:09
Oh, that’s pretty fucking cool. So this boss, it looks like a horse. Oh, holy shit. It’s a lot bigger than I thought. Oh, it doesn’t look like a horse’s face now has names goat mask and mechanical monster goat? Yeah. So goat it contrary to the name actually looks more like a bolt shaped. It’s got a bullish body I would say

Haney 25:32
yeah. And then that’s a fucking human face. So human oyD face

Chris 25:37
the boss designs in this really cool. Yeah, I like it more than what I’ve seen in Ocarina of Time for sure.

Haney 25:43
I would agree with that same

Chris 25:44
Yeah, but Yeah, fucking Here we go. So

Haney 25:47
this is essentially rollerball. You’re in a round chamber that has a central column. So you have to go around it like a ring. Like, it’s essentially like a roller derby ring. Right? Or roller ball like that old James Caan movie.

Chris 26:00
Yeah. Or a horse race track. Yeah. And or human race track. Alright, Donut, or a car race truck. Yeah.

Haney 26:12
NASCAR. Yeah. So the mechanic for this is really just roll. Yeah, that’s it.

Chris 26:20
Don’t stop rolling. Don’t

Haney 26:21
stop rolling, baby. So Chris, you rolled

Chris 26:25
I rolled it was so old my hardest.

Haney 26:29
So rolling muses magic. And there are random spawn points of magic pots that give you magic refills, so no problem there. No. There’s also two pots that will give you nothing but arrows problem there because there’s no hearts in this chamber at all. Strange decision. Chris is also at for hearts. Listeners for his heart max heart limit. So hits hurt quite a bit. Yeah, go has some interesting mechanics to as he’s running. He’s kicking up boulders. If those boulders hit you while you’re rolling. They’ll knock you out of your roll, but not to damage right now. Also, the leg tights will fall from the ceiling and these are actual stalactites because they’re not ice right? Yeah, yeah. These will fall from the ceiling and also knock you out of a roll. Or if you run into them once they’re already in the ground will also stop your roll. Yep, and then go can just also fire fucking lightning balls at you. Yeah. So these are

Chris 27:26
significantly more dangerous than any of the other projectiles because they seem to almost follow you a little bit. They

Haney 27:33
have a slight semblance of heat seeking to them. Yeah, sounds like Yeah. Which isn’t good. No, no, no, no bueno.

Chris 27:39
He also if you’re not Spikeball rollin, he’ll just trample you he’ll just trample Yeah,

Haney 27:45
so you have to have magic. So you have to be able to get your spikes out as you’re rolling has gone. Otherwise, you just you do not stand a chance. Also, after a certain time of dealing damage to him, he started shitting bombs, literally bombs will just fall off of his back side.

Chris 27:59
Yeah, there’s no other way to tap in

Haney 28:02
a very short fuse. They blow up like within seconds. So you got nailed a lot by those two. So you get the Bosque music, the breeze? And then we get our sweet music playing those horns that we love. You started rolling. He’s avoiding all the magic pots as one does when they don’t want to keep up their keep up their magic fuck. Oh, ah, oh, ah,

Chris 28:30
yeah, so

Haney 28:31
there’s some chumpies All right. All right. Chris is catching up. Oh, booty. He’s hurting them. Now. He’s hurting them now. On the surface. He looks common Spaghetti.

Chris 28:41
Spaghetti on my Surface already.

Haney 28:44
Oh, wow. So Chris got tasered by the go. Ah, there is

Chris 28:49
spouses easy. That’s a bowl not a horse. It’s a goat. No, it’s a ballsy thing to go Penny. What do you want? I think I know the difference between a bull and a goat.

Haney 28:58
Because you’re a vegetarian.

Chris 29:00
Okay. Sir Go I don’t have time. How’s your health doing? Bad one and a half hearts. And I’m also running out of time of day there. Is there not a way to get hearts back in

Haney 29:13
this there’s there’s pots that you keep driving by. Really? Yeah.

Chris 29:17
Oh, when you come into the room? Yep.

Haney 29:20
Right here left. Nice. Yes.

Chris 29:25
Nice Excellent.

Haney 29:25
phrase that go were that bad boy.

Chris 29:30
Good boy. Go my good boy. My good go at

Unknown Speaker 29:33
my good goats. Not my bad goes just my good goats.

Haney 29:36
I think he’s chasing you.

Chris 29:37
Who’s chasing who? Ah, yes. I thought you could get away from me.

Unknown Speaker 29:42

Chris 29:44
Tell me are you? Yeah, give me that booty. Hello. Are you throwing bombs?

Unknown Speaker 29:48
Throw a bomb at you. Not on my lawn.

Haney 29:53
Well, a little bit on your watch on my watch occasionally. And then you died.

Chris 29:59
Now If I did die,

Haney 30:01
yeah, but it’s okay. No problem. Yeah, no. Yeah. So, back up there, run back up you you get everything. Wait a minute, I

Chris 30:09
have to pause here.

Haney 30:09
It does start you at the beginning of the sample, doesn’t it? So here’s what happened.

Chris 30:13
I can’t lie to our dear listeners. I’m being entirely transparent with you. After the first death, it was 9pm. And I said, Well, I feel like I should probably reset time and just like sprint back up. Yeah,

Haney 30:26
definitely. Definitely should do that. Yes. So you after your first death, you’re like, fuck it. I’m gonna. I’m gonna song a song back to clock down and deposit my rupees. Which you did get the adult wallet for?

Chris 30:39
Yeah, that was pretty cool. I felt like time Yeah, because it felt like the boss was absorbing quite a lot of damage. Yeah, and I had spent enough time chasing him that I was pretty it was 10pm when you got back to clock down. Yeah, and I was pretty sure that if I went another go out to the moon would come crashing down.

Haney 30:56
So you have till 6am Not midnight, by the way. Oh, shit. Okay. I didn’t realize that. Yeah, so when it when it hits 6pm and says 12 hours remain. Okay. Yeah,

Chris 31:05
well, fuck. Well, let’s beat this bad boy. Hopefully before the moon crashes. Yeah, here I am. Yeah. If I’m already here, should I just reset time and like spring right back up.

Haney 31:19
It might not be a bad idea if you can. Song I’m sorry. And yourself to clock down real fast.

Chris 31:25
Do I have to go back to clock them?

Haney 31:26
You’ll you’ll it’ll put you the clock down. Anyway,

Chris 31:28
I guess I could deposit my 99

Haney 31:29
Yeah. You’ve already saved up 200 rupees. You got the adult wallet. This wallet is for adults, so don’t

Chris 31:37
sack I’m gonna try something real quick. You’re gonna try. I want to see if I can get into on Judy’s storeroom. Because if I can snag a silver rupee and then deposit more before I ever said time, that’d be swell.

Haney 31:51
I’m not mad at it. Should I feel bad about that? Yeah. Now you could check your bombers notebook real fast here and see who else can take some notes.

Chris 31:58
Hey, I’m not getting distracted now. I was just saying not getting distracted now for five care now. Okay. We’ll be back here. Don’t you worry.

Haney 32:07
I don’t want to go back to snow.

Chris 32:12
So go back to Clock Town a deposit all 99 rupees because I was maxed out on my tiny kid wallet,

Haney 32:17
which you already had 111 rupees. So that put you up to 10 Hell yeah. He was like, Oh my God, you’ve already deposited to 10 I gotta give you a gift. Here. You’re so rich. Yeah, you’re not a little kid. You need this adult wallet.

Chris 32:32
I got my adult sack. So

Haney 32:33
you can hold 200 rupees now. Yeah, that’s pretty fucking cool.

Chris 32:35
It is pretty cool. Yeah, you know what’s even cooler than that? What’s that? If you roll up to the fucking crock pot in or whatever? Yeah. Yeah. And you go and just maybe you maybe maybe you were just aware that there was a wedding dowry or funds or whatever the fuck? Employees only are

Haney 32:54
in the employees only room which is probably abandoned this late on a

Chris 32:57
three nobody else seems to be upset. really safe. keepings right. Yeah. Oh, like if they’re leaving it there then who knows who’s gonna wander in and just knowing?

Haney 33:06
Is the moon gonna use it?

Chris 33:09
I grabbed Andreas wedding funds again. Again. As positive that’s 100 rupees right there.

Haney 33:17
Yeah, backup the snow head and be Gorons back breathe in. Yeah. That’s not quite right. A little suspicious, because we already got rid of him. But you didn’t reset time? Yeah, yeah, but maybe that’s

Chris 33:30
all that reset. Yeah. Entire temple when it reset surely.

Haney 33:35
Your fairies all went away? You’re straight fairies? I don’t give a shit. Something tells me you don’t care.

Chris 33:40
Fuck off dog. You’re very rude. Alright, so only Oh my god. I do have to do everything. Yeah,

Haney 33:46
what did you okay, it’s GG easy, you got this. So the only things you keep are the large key items that you get, which are a map a compass. And if you got the special item from the temple, which in this case is the fire arrows. So Chris has his fires. He has the compass he has the map, but he’s lost all of their progress. All the doors are relog the doors are unlocked all the ice is reground all the enemies are back. I don’t know what else to say.

Chris 34:18
How are we going to do the talk through for the temple?

Haney 34:21
portly probably.

Chris 34:22
Give me something to talk about.

Haney 34:25
How about love Do you have my favorite part about this is this means that you spent three days in this place by yourself.

Chris 34:33
Alright, let’s go back to the clock down. We’re gonna have a real clock.

Haney 34:35
Yeah. Ah, we’re here.

Chris 34:39
Where the fuck is my arrows

Haney 34:40
mean by any What do you want? You got to get to the boss so you can get those arrows from

Chris 34:49
give me something to talk about.

Unknown Speaker 34:52
How will them live?

Haney 34:55
Some magic a must have been some magic in that all So now a great time

Chris 35:03
must have been some magic in those old silk tights

Haney 35:10
in case you didn’t know everyone at the time of this recording it is in fact I don’t know a fucking date is like April.

Chris 35:20
Sure. Yeah, I can’t wait for the actual water sample.

Haney 35:24
Technically they’re all water temples Stop telling me that

Chris 35:27
it upsets me.

Haney 35:29
I don’t know how to tell it to you. The Swamp temple and ice temple and a water temple. What do you want? Ah, you ran out of magic. We’re having a fun time. Ah, this is what we call a Christopher breaking. How do you feel about your resource management positive? Yeah,

Chris 35:49
I don’t think I could have done it better.

Haney 35:52
Okay, because you already have solved this. Wouldn’t it make the most sense to stand next to the door and then shoot all these? Hey, alright, nevermind. It was just the thought. My apologies. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Chris 36:04
You know, it’d be a really fun game to play together actually as bonus for Zelda was that cadence of Hyrule fuck that. It’s a rhythm based Zelle the Why can’t you get out? I’m not sure we’re gonna go through this one and see if that fixes it.

Haney 36:23
Ah, yeah, Christopher. Oh, yeah, just bounce and bounce enrollees. Oh

here we are. This is Chris and he’s

Chris 36:43
scorns got a slam and BOD. Yeah,

Haney 36:47
I’d say so. Can’t believe it’s gonna be day three. But it’s back there again.

Chris 36:52
Don’t Don’t you fucking do. You remember when they were making pinball games for everything. I love pinball. There’s like Pokemon pinball game and a sonic pinball game. And

Haney 37:04
this is the premise pinball game two.

Chris 37:06
I’m getting sick of hearing about the spread house. I just haven’t told me anything about. I’m tired of it.

Haney 37:12
I’ve literally just said I enjoyed it. And I started.

Chris 37:15
That’s enough. That’s enough.

Haney 37:20
We make it up to the backup to the boss. Put on your grind mask. And you start rolling? Hell yeah. Get under his legs trippin.

Chris 37:30
Oh, where does that lightning come from his

Haney 37:32
Boo is booty. Booty booty hole, booty Booty hole. Slash ADA string the other day. God and his poop was on the string. And just he was walking around outside. Just a string out of his asshole. And then like, towards me from the bottom of it. I had to put a poopy bag over my hand and pull it out of

Chris 37:53
dogs are really a triumph, aren’t they? Yeah,

Haney 37:57
we definitely should have kept breeding forever. That horse is going too fast. Catch

Chris 38:04
him first.

Haney 38:08
Yes. Ah, you died again

don’t want to you have to

Chris 38:19
don’t want to be here. Like wanting to start me outside the boss. That’s not how games I want to just fucking do it for me.

Unknown Speaker 38:28
And then you die.

Chris 38:30
Yeah, I mean, I was just I was getting back into it. Yeah, surely. Frustration will be fine. It’ll be fine. I got my groove on. Yeah. So

Haney 38:39
we come back. We’re still day one. No problem. Chris has time slowed down. It’s like 11am Not even I don’t think it’s fine. Whatever. It’s not a big deal. So you enter the boss chamber. We start rolling. Yeah, you gotta hurry chase after it even if it means throwing your own body into it. Do it so it’ll stop.

Chris 38:59
Like just Yeah, yeah. Don’t know what to expect it.

Haney 39:03
Yeah, now we’re kicking our way. Yeah. Get him throw your body into him. Ah, zapped in today’s episode of playing games. Well, Chris learn to die.

Chris 39:16
I was trying to listen to tattle

Unknown Speaker 39:17
gnome do the head should know what she’s saying.

Haney 39:21
And you died. Oh, that’s awkward. Yeah, no, that’s fine.

Chris 39:24
No, no best Yeah, it’ll be fine Third time’s the charm

Haney 39:27
always so you make your way back up to the boss open the door. He’s running Yeah, you guys start rolling and you start rolling. And he nailed it this time. Oh, thank fucking

Chris 39:38
God. I had to listen to another minute of this episode.

Haney 39:42
Yeah, this was a brutal boss fight it took Chris a while but the last go through I will give you this you only lost one heart container easy the whole the whole way through. Yeah, was was much better. Just trying it out for the episode sick. Yeah, definitely. The five hours of gameplay and the two you hours of this talk through you have to edit now Arnstein ideal yeah I’m sure you crush him yeah GG easy he collapses blows up

Chris 40:13
I want Cal mask

Haney 40:14
yeah get stuck right there oh now Good job dude hell yeah

Chris 40:20
oh can’t believe we’re about to face a second form

Unknown Speaker 40:25
oh my god how mad but up

Chris 40:28
so I get some sweet goat

Haney 40:30
remains yeah you get some goat remains and you get a heart container so your max hearts are leveled up to five now and you get you get yeah yeah remains yeah when you get the remains stuff in my pocket and put them in your pocket and you get transported yeah so just like when you beat the first temple you are kind of transported into this like Misty foggy land with these giants just going oh, oh

no I’m gonna name you this I mean life video game player. Okay, Chris Tucker. Wait, that’s actually an actor. Got that got the herpes virus. Yeah,

Chris 41:11
it’s just gonna reset time.

Haney 41:15
You gotta hide continue your maximum life energy is increased by one heart. You also get a full refill of life energy. Yeah. You barely only lost one heart that round. Come on. Forget about it. Yeah, it’s five hearts. Now. Don’t use these goats remains.

Chris 41:31
That’s pretty cool. I like that face mask. Yeah, you’ve just

Haney 41:34
freed the innocent spirit that the stark mask had kept in prison within the body of evil goat.

Chris 41:39
So there’s a bunch of evil masks. Yeah.

Haney 41:42
So describe this cutscene for me,

Chris 41:45
like you said, it’s kind of a foggy area. There’s a bunch of pillars and you’re kind of staring up at this shrouded figure. Yeah, a giant. That’s kind of moaning moaning speak a lot. I think Tatel at this point was like, what guardian or guardian is that what you’re saying? And Title infers that their protector Gods Yeah. But if your protector gods like why are you in the temples? Yeah. What are you doing this for? And what’s going on? Yeah.

Haney 42:15
And she’s like, Hey, what the fuck? Are you listening to me? Yeah, they’re not by the way now.

Chris 42:21
Yeah, we got some bubble giants.

Haney 42:23
Legs for days.

Unknown Speaker 42:24
Oh, what exactly are all of you carry? De Jens?

Haney 42:31
Guardians. So your protective gods. That’s why you’re in the temples. But why are there protective? Gods? No, wait. Are you listening to me? Hey, wait. Bye, buy. That’s all interesting. Bit of good. Good. Yeah. That that ties back into the the main storyline. Yeah, yeah. With that. You made your way back to Clock Town. Hit that owl statue and save the game. Chris, how are you feeling about today’s episode of Majoris mask exhausted? Yeah, I bet you look tired, buddy.

Chris 43:04
I’m pretty tired. But I feel accomplished. Yeah. It was probably because I didn’t finish this temple. On the last time I entered. This was kind of like a hanging over your head. Yeah, it was it was my mountain. Yeah, that means water temple is one of probably only two other temples I can do next. So I can’t believe we’re gonna spend the next 30 episodes and clock down. Yeah, I believe it. So join me a great time.

Haney 43:30
We’re gonna have a fun we’re gonna have a fun.

Chris 43:32
But yeah, no, I feel I’m feeling good. I enjoyed this temple. More than the swamp temple. I think that’s good. Yeah,

Haney 43:42
yeah. What do you think’s going on with the Giants and that cutscene and all that nonsense. So we’ve had another cutscene like that where we learned a little bit about the the four who are there bring them here from from tattles brother tail. What’s what’s going on with that? What is what are we doing here?

Chris 44:00
Well, you know, it’d be really fucking metal. What’s that? If schoolkids split a God into four different parts to like Brian like how did the ferry yes if it was just like one god four parts.

Haney 44:11
It was like hey, you guys, I’ll fuck off out of here so that I can do my deeds. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker 44:16
that’d be pretty fucking cool.

Haney 44:17
That’d be pretty fucking cool.

Chris 44:20
But I don’t know they seem linked to the temple somehow. And it says when I beat these bosses that I like calmed or I like fried the spirit you

Haney 44:31
freed an innocent spirit that was trapped in the malicious mask.

Chris 44:35
Yeah, so these are the other like I didn’t expect there to be multiple evil masks, which I’m considering Majora in evil mask and it says yeah these these other spirits or bosses or whatever they may be seem to be snatch up these masks and it seems to be corrupting them.

Haney 44:53
Yeah, it’s not good.

Chris 44:54
So yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on with the bosses but they they must be tied to sculpted, sculpted in some way I would imagine the temple if there’s four gods and there’s four temples then that kind of makes that tracks with me

Haney 45:08
the tracks. Yeah.

Chris 45:11
We’ll see. It doesn’t help that he kind of just fucked off and didn’t tell me anything

Haney 45:15
now now, but you know who will tell you stuff? People in clocked?

Chris 45:20
Yeah, so I think before o’clock down though I have a lot of exploring to do in the Gorn village.

Haney 45:27
Yeah, cuz now it’s all melted. Yeah, so it’s not a it’s not AC anymore so you can kind of travel around easier and pretty fucking cool. See what’s see what’s under all that ice?

Chris 45:36

Haney 45:38
Oh, look at that. It’s all melty. And she it? Guy, but there’s a whole bunch of you here now. No, probably not. There’s nothing else here. Ah, ah. Ah, frog frogs. Frogs and Hornets. Are there’s so many frogs. It’s a frog. Do you want he’s just gonna go swimming with the frog. Yeah, this all right. Yeah. Why don’t you on the target and get out of the fucking pool?

Chris 46:01
This Okay. Chris, what? We’ve saved the love of God. Yeah, I feel like there’s a lot to still see your area

Haney 46:13
blocked on? Do you feel like you did enough around the swamp after you cleared it out to make sure you knew everything that was going on there.

Chris 46:21
It didn’t seem like a very big area. But I can definitely see a kind of second pass episode where I hit regions that have already been in the greatest hits. Yeah. Because there’s definitely milk road which is near swamp. So I’m gonna try and check that out. Yeah, and I can probably hit the swamp at that point. I have to find the garland that gives me the powderkeg badge or whatever the fuck that yeah,

Haney 46:46
whatever it lets you use a powder keg. Yeah, you gotta figure out how to get into the ranch. Yep.

Chris 46:53
Well, there’s the giant boulder in the way that was there yet. I think the powder keg will fix that for me.

Haney 46:59
So everyone’s evacuating there on day three. Do you think that’s okay? Ah, Boulder. And

Chris 47:05
there does seem to be a little bit of an inconvenience. Maybe they all have the song of soaring? I know I do.

Unknown Speaker 47:11
Hmm. I think nananana What are you What do you think?

Chris 47:17
Did you ever watch the Camelot movie? Road to Camelot? Quest for Camelot for Camelot? Oh

Haney 47:23
hell yeah, I did. Oh, fuck. I need to rewatch that. Yeah, not. And I my older sister net. And I used to watch the fuck. Yeah, that’s

Chris 47:33
a great movie. Emery. Just watch it. Oh, what a great film, man. Yeah. So yeah, I’m pretty good. Excellent. Accomplished.

Haney 47:41
You did get today. I’m glad you. I’m glad you stuck with it. I know. Like yeah, probably pretty frustrating towards the end there. But I think you kept it pretty, pretty good attitude towards it.

Chris 47:49
I mean, I’m always having a good time.

Haney 47:51
I know. I mean, to go back and listen to Cloud Strife and this management of secrets. Understand that I know exactly. The pain. Yeah, just feeling like you should be able to do this thing. And you can’t but but yeah, it’s I think he did well. And I’m glad we’re through this now because I really want to spend some time in class. That’s all I care about. Yeah. Okay. I’m sorry. I like what I like. That’s fine. Yeah. You have any final thoughts for this episode of Madras mascaras?

Chris 48:20
I don’t think so. Thanks for bearing with us. If you can think of a better way you’d like to hear the Temple Run.

Haney 48:26
Temples are hard. Yeah, I could go for an advisory from someone on if they liked this format, or if there’s something they think we could do better. We’re all ears all the time. So feel free to reach out to us Tweet us at first encounter pod. What does the horse look like at one st encounter pod or email us mail at first encounter? podcast.com. Join our Discord. There’s a link in the Twitter bio. Any any anywhere you can reach out to us feel free. Yeah, please. Yeah, I think with that, thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you next time. Me too. Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue please support us at patreon.com/first encounter, find our socials and contact info at first encountered podcast.com Please stop by and say hey, our intro and outro music is by Alden Zach I’m playing through myself and I literally dumped Gretchen into the hot spring this morning and then I had the idea of what if I go and spend three days slowing down time and going to every place I’ve seen a fish taking the fish and then just moving them all into the hot spring water.

Chris 49:37
You’re gonna create a horrible heat fish.

Haney 49:39
Yeah, this is gonna be a magma fish. I don’t know how familiar you are with like reoccurring bosses and Zelda but like Volvo Hagia the fire dragon has been around since like the NES games. And today we learned all that good origin story, which

Chris 49:53
has been Gretchen dump. Yeah, well, Maggie

Haney 49:56
has just Gretchen is

Chris 49:58
once you start dumping enough fish in there are one of them starts eating more of the other eventually it just

Haney 50:03
Yeah, I like how we could have gotten breeding but you said Nah, it’s eating yeah breed little breed little eat.

Chris 50:09
It’s like how link eventually will ascend to thick very because of all the Pharisee eats

Haney 50:14
yes eat the final theory. Thick bury herself

Unknown Speaker 50:17
please. Oh anyway

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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