We finally penetrate Snowhead Temple to begin dungeoning and it goes about as well as you’d expect. Chris absolutely crushes it and Haney is very impressed. 

❗First Encounter contains adult themes such as violence, sexual content, and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.

View Uncorrected AI Interpreted Episode Transcript
Haney 0:05
Hey listener first encounters an explicit podcast by grownups for grownups. content warnings can be found in the episode description. Hey, hello, hi. Welcome to this very last episode of the first encounter podcast. Chris, can you believe we made it all the way here to the end? And we’ll never release another episode ever again.

Chris 0:25
Is that because you know, the population is going to take my side?

Haney 0:28
No, it’s just because I think I think you’ve done it. You’ve done everything that we’ve set out to achieve. Okay, you have a kid can’t i can’t even find the words to say what I’m trying to like pretend to say, which is that you did well, but I just like my mouth won’t let me make those words come out.

Chris 0:48
We’re jumping a little a little ahead here.

Unknown Speaker 0:50
Yeah, let’s

Haney 0:51
not worry too much about that.

Chris 0:52
This is a bit of a historic moment, because this is the first time we’re not recording an intro in person. And the reason for that you’ll hear at the end of this episode II. But there’s a lot of other people who brought us to this point. And it would be a blight on the name of first encounter if we didn’t think them before signing off for good. So we’d like to thank a couple new joiners to Patreon. They joined the party a little little Yeah, it’s gonna be desolate pretty pretty quickly.

Haney 1:25
Yeah, that’s fine. Well, why don’t we go ahead and give a big shout out, Chris.

Chris 1:30
Yeah. Thank you so much, Brendan. Thanks, Dave. Thank you, Andrew.

Haney 1:34
And thank you now well, also, if I pronounced your name wrong, I’m so sorry. Please reach out and tell me how do you pronounce it and I will do name pronunciation correction. But that’s not all. We got to think today. Chris knows I have to think the cream of the sales or whatever. Yeah, that’s

Chris 1:51
what we call them now.

Haney 1:52
Yeah, that’s fine.

Chris 1:54
Thanks for joining our cream tear, which is the new name for the X potion members.

Haney 1:59
Cream potion.

Chris 2:01
Listen, it’s

Haney 2:02
Listen. Wait, wait, wait. I have I have a sentence that I have to say. And I think you’re going to agree with it. Cream potion? Is just hand lotion. Tell me I’m wrong?

Chris 2:13
Well, no on a cream soda. Oh my god.

Haney 2:15
I’m in a cream soda and like yours. Let’s thank those creamy folks.

Chris 2:23
Thank God, this is the final episode. Yeah. Thanks so much, Josh.

Haney 2:29
Thanks so much,

Chris 2:30
Joan. fumbling for the almighty credit. Thanks, Cody. Thank you. Pleasure.

Haney 2:35
Thank you so much. Brendan. Again, John out the exhibition tear. Love it.

Chris 2:39
Yeah, Ben. Thank you. And Alex, thank you so much, our producers. What would we do without them?

Haney 2:46
Not have a show most likely, which we’re doing in two weeks,

Chris 2:50
which means we’re finally cutting you loose? Yeah. Sorry.

Haney 2:54
We didn’t consult you first.

Chris 2:56
It was a decision we came to with much emotion running about. You’ll hear all of it. Yeah, actually. Yes. Thank you so much, Dr. J. And thank you as always Denise, and thank you August, the first and hopefully only member of the don’t you do it here?

Haney 3:15
Yeah, I don’t even like what is like an executive producer. Now. I don’t even like does August own first encounter now?

Chris 3:21
Yes, August. This is all yours now.

Haney 3:25
Yeah, you can have this. Take it treat it. Well raise our baby. Yeah, we’ve done we’ve done what we set out to do with it. Excellent. Great.

Chris 3:34
There’s one, one further. Sorry. I didn’t mean to cut you off Hanny. Do you have something to say?

Haney 3:41
I just was wanting to remind you because you so clearly forgot that we should probably give a huge big thank you shout out to our sponsor, as always uncommon coffee,

Chris 3:51
they’re going to be so excited that they’ll never hear her voice again. At least we ended up on our terms.

Haney 3:56
Yeah. And you don’t those terms. I Chris, those terms are if you go to uncommon vt.com. Go to the shop, put some stuff in your cart, enter in that discount code. Good. Good. You get 10% off your order. Some exclusions do apply. However, these are our terms, Chris, our terms.

Chris 4:15
Thank you for joining me remotely, Henny, thank you for holding it together. While we did this recording, I know that the last time we spoke it was less than cordial. So

Haney 4:29
I think at this point, we should also mention to the listening crew here to ensure that they listen all the way through to the end of this episode because there is a call to action for you. There is one chance listener one chance for you at home to save the first encounter podcast and that is at the end of this episode.

Chris 4:48
Don’t Don’t blow it.

Haney 4:50
Don’t blow it. Also, you can’t skip it and go to the end first. We’ll know we get the analytics that tell us Yeah, for sure. Definitely. Yeah, that is the thing that analytics can do maybe delightful. Well, they’ve said all that there is to say in this world Chris, is there anything else that you need to say for this final intro to first encountered podcasts now? No, thanks so much for listening and we won’t see you next time bye

Chris 5:30
there’s also a lot of wool folks around here. Yeah. Which I don’t want now, so my favorite

Haney 5:36
you actually got inside and you’re already at like one heart? Yeah, because of the wall person. I think they’re called Snow bows the little or white bows that a little like ghosties

Unknown Speaker 5:47
I need health system I don’t

Haney 5:51
know the Wolfers are extremely strong. Same thing. You gotta know hearts for

Chris 5:58
that. That’s,

Haney 6:00
I kind of call that a little shenanigans that’s smashing that. That icicle? I don’t know if it’ll give you a heart.

Unknown Speaker 6:07
No bullshit. Skip sucks. This game is fucking garbage.

Chris 6:11
I would call this poor heart design.

Haney 6:13
Do you have a heart on? Hmm, this is kind of big. It’s gonna take more than average strength to move this thing.

Chris 6:21
Hey, hello, hello. Yes, thank you. But could you read the line?

Haney 6:26
Moved. As you go in, there’s three doors in front of you. So there’s Dornier left door to your right path straight forward.

Chris 6:35
So for this episode, listeners, we’re going to need you to do some heavy lifting with your imagination skills as we describe the layout of this entire temp.

Haney 6:44
Unfortunately, it turns out that temples do not make for good content. Well, they make for good content, but they don’t make for good talk through content. Listen handy. So the gameplay is gonna be doing a lot of heavy lifting here because it’s mostly going to be Chris cursing for 45 minutes, boy.

Chris 6:59
45 minutes. Yeah. Okay. Well, after 45 minutes of episodes, yeah.

Haney 7:05
45 edited down minutes of cursing from the four hours of cursing that existed. Yeah. So inside, there is a door straight ahead, door to your left door to your right. And then you could go fuck off back the way you came. The path ahead is frozen. The door to the left is locked. door to the right wide open. So basically, that’s the view you had to choose.

Chris 7:27
Yeah. Easy. Easy. Give me a better puzzle next time.

Haney 7:32
Once in a puzzle what? So you come into it like a big chasm with a Woodbridge over it. And at the bottom of the chasm is a whole bunch of lava. Yeah. And then on top of the chasm are these statues that blow an icy breath? And if you walk through their icy breath, you get frozen and take damage? No good. Yeah. So Chris chose the path of falling directly into the chasm almost immediately is the path of least resistance. Yeah. So Chris falls down in that chasm. So I’m actually mapping where you go in this.

Chris 8:07
That’s probably a good call. That’s how what the ass so I didn’t know that icicles fell on me. Alright,

Haney 8:15
so this presidential room for the left is locked.

Chris 8:20
Oh, you’re not actually drawing a map? No, you’ll

Unknown Speaker 8:22
get a map.

Chris 8:25
Can I draw a map? Yeah, of course. Oh, no. I dropped my controller. It caused me to eat my fairy. Little little blow Yaks. Love me. Hello. Hello. Yes, we tattle

Haney 8:42
slippery places like this. You can curl up as gone and roll your way across. Why don’t you try it?

Chris 8:48
Can’t believe I’m going to Slippery my way through the blowy

Haney 8:53
what’s in here describe the stream for me.

Chris 8:54
So I got a a chasm with a bit of a plunge down to a lava level floor

Haney 9:01
and there’s a bridge over the Yeah,

Chris 9:04
across the chasm. I got a Woodbridge. Oh, that’s okay. So I wrote a chasm. I wrote myself down there. I

Haney 9:15
didn’t fall. So you fell into the chasm. Ah, Chris is whipping out his Great Fairy mask.

Chris 9:21
Here we go. You know, I would call poor game design. Was that the fact that if I have the Great Fairy mask on I can put the Goron mask on over it but if I have the grind mask on, I can’t put the fairy mask on over it.

Unknown Speaker 9:32
Agreed. It’s just not right.

Haney 9:35
Chris goes and finds a ladder that leads him back up to the bridge that goes across the chasm and is able to make it across the chasm which is pretty cool.

Chris 9:44
Yeah. So the way the way this chasm works because we’ll be back here spoil Yeah,

Haney 9:50
so this actually this room is named in the walk throughs as the frieze art corridor. It’s awful because the the ice statues that are breathing I set up called phrase arts. So it’s like F R E. G ARD Jeffrey’s arts and this is the frieze art corridor, and it’s pretty prevalent to how you get through the rest of the temple.

Chris 10:09
Yeah, this temple encourages Goron ability, which is role real fast until you turn into spikes. Yeah. Which is pretty fucking tight.

Haney 10:19
I see no problems until you have to aim it. Yeah,

Chris 10:23
until it’s me aiming it. So to get through this corridor, you have to blast yourself across the wooden bridge over the gap, which has a ramp speed ramp. Yeah. And just land on the other side correctly.

Haney 10:38
Yeah. So it’s physically impossible to get a cross it unless you are gone rolling. Hell yeah.

Unknown Speaker 10:45
Oh, wait. You’re really great there. Yeah,

Chris 10:50
I still think got the hang of the rolling. Look at that booty though. Yeah, he Fick big dumpling booty.

Haney 10:59
Big dumper. You ever seen a big jumper like speaking of Pixar? Oh, shit. Oh, no, it’s turning red. turning red. It’s great movie was really fun. My only complaint about that movie Yeah, mom did not have a Pixar dump truck s there you know you can always improve also don’t remember need to go back and look because maybe when she was a red panda at the end, she had a big dump truck ass. But you made it across. So who cares? No big deal.

Chris 11:28
How many times do you think it took?

Haney 11:29
I don’t want to now i don’t i If you decide to go and edit all that video gameplay to figure out how many times you went through that fucking corridor and how many times you tried to get across that bridge? Feel free? I didn’t count. I didn’t care. It was too much. So we got over there. Yeah. Across there from there is a new room and there’s bumped shoe in there. A bomb shoes. They’re nightmarish. Yeah. Do you want to describe a bomb to you? For me?

Chris 11:56
It’s a psychotic looking mouse. That’s dragging around a bomb by its tail. Yeah.

Haney 12:03
And if you get too close, boom.

Unknown Speaker 12:06
Watch out. Wow. Bombed you

Chris 12:09
didn’t even give me a chance. Ah.

Unknown Speaker 12:11
Oh, just juste

Haney 12:13
and that treasure chest has the dungeon map in it? Hell yeah. We love a dungeon map. Yeah. Okay. So you got the bomb shoe room with a chest? Are you still working on your map over there? Oh, hey,

Unknown Speaker 12:26
you found the dungeon map. Oh, yeah.

Chris 12:28
Well, there we go. Maybe I’ll actually use the map this time.

Unknown Speaker 12:34
Maybe. So what do we got here?

Haney 12:36
So there’s an AI with some ice over it.

Chris 12:40
So I need to fire shoot that. Yeah. So

Haney 12:42
what you don’t have any fire in here though? No. Chris doesn’t love a map. Chris learned to use the map, I think more in this episode than ever before because of the sheer necessity of it. And this temple.

Chris 12:55
Yeah, there’s a little bit of this in the previous temple. But this one is specially

Haney 13:00
is very layered. It’s quite a lot bigger than last temple.

Chris 13:03
I’d say it’s bigger, and it has a lot more floors. So you need good spatial awareness, I guess of how like the floors interconnect.

Haney 13:11
Yeah, you need to be pretty decent at building a mind map. Even even with the other map, you still need to be able to like follow the visual cues. Chris did end up drawing a map. Yeah, and we will release it on Patreon. If we get three. Like I was gonna say three new subscribers at the $10 tier. It’s not worth that. No, but are you gonna airplane it over to me? Yeah, hell yeah. Because it’s currently making a paper airplane. But he’s doing it the the short way. So he has a long piece of paper, but he’s doing it horizontally instead of vertically. I’ve never seen this before. It’s gotta get point on it. I haven’t made a paper airplane. And so like shit. Can you have a day where we just make paper airplanes. Yeah, probably fly like keep it get high. Like, nailed it. That was my fault. Chris. Chris threw it and it did not make it all the way across. All right, let’s take a look at this map here. So we have a an arrow pointing up and a square. And then the next square after that has a arrow pointing up an arrow pointing left and an arrow pointing right. The arrow pointing up says red. The arrow pointing right has another box next to it that’s L shaped and then another box above that. And then I think it says blowy room. I believe that’s the frieze art corridor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nailed it.

Chris 14:37
So we’ll be releasing that with our strategy guide.

Haney 14:40
Yeah, yeah, definitely. It’ll be the only map and the whole book. After you get the map, you make your way into the next area, which is the central corridor. This is basically the worst room center of everything. Do you want to I want I want you to paint paint us a picture of this room. It’s a nightmare.

Chris 15:00
Oh God. So, how to paint. Let’s take a pipe and you stick it in the ground so it’s facing up, right? Yeah. Like a Mario. Yeah. Okay, so you got a hollow center. Yeah. And then all around that pipe. You just put different plates, which are the different levels of the dungeon.

Haney 15:18
All right? Yeah, yeah. Apollon,

Chris 15:21
that’s it. That’s the central, right. Yeah.

Haney 15:22
Basically, it’s just a giant open chamber that you can see all the way to the bottom and all the way to the top of the dungeon. Yeah. And it’s all it’s all along the side of it. Yeah. And there’s branches off of the central chambers that lead off into various rooms where you can do other puzzles and shit to solve the temple.

Chris 15:40
That’s exactly what I fucking said. Yeah.

Haney 15:42
Nailed it. Chris immediately falls into the bottom of the chamber. You got it. It’s the path of least resistance and gets attacked by a lot of flame skulls. Do you want to describe what a flame skull is?

Chris 15:54
Yeah, as you might infer, it’s a skull that is on fire. And it’s got little bat wings, and they kind of just hop around and try and slam themselves into you.

Haney 16:04
Is that good for you?

Chris 16:06
It could be better.

Unknown Speaker 16:07
They’re called bubbles. So this seems like the

Unknown Speaker 16:11
central room if I had to guess. Oh, no ramps.

Haney 16:15
That looks like a real puzzle of a time.

Chris 16:17
Ponzi some poopies.

Haney 16:18
Well, you already look stressed out. Why don’t you tell me about what you’re seeing here.

Chris 16:24
So it’s a room that just has a lot of vertical height. And it’s got a whole bunch of different floors with like cages and frozen doors. It’s mostly it’s a shit ton of doors.

Unknown Speaker 16:36
Got some panties? Yes, arrows. Okay, good. Good for you.

Chris 16:39
Yeah, I need them.

Haney 16:40
Yeah. Magic some hearts. This is a great rubies. nail in it. Yeah.

Chris 16:46
Everything’s coming up, Chris. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Don’t want them. I want them to come up, Chris. That’s fine. So if you walk near lava apparently it spawn flaming flaming skull. That’s. So this is the door is just in. Which means the other door in this room is the one I just came from. Right. I think so. Yeah. Now, that school tricked me. I mean, rude. So I’m not calling those bubbles.

Haney 17:13
That’s fair. Ever. Yeah. Either. This area off of the central chamber, I believe from the basement Chris managed to find a puzzle block room. A lot. A lot of doors up here. A lot of ice. A lot of

Chris 17:26
ice a lot. So there’s the fire I need. Yeah,

Haney 17:29
there’s there’s some fire there.

Chris 17:31
So it’s through here.

Unknown Speaker 17:32
It’s in here. Little puppy block room

Chris 17:35
or buzzy in a shitty

Haney 17:37
in this puzzle block room. You push two blocks that are stacked on top of each other down into a little like drop in spot. When you push them into that drop in spot. It makes the chest appear up on the ledge. Yeah, you can’t get it. No doesn’t matter. Now, this one when you’re talking about the worse, but what you did get was a small key, which means you can open a locked door. Love it. Get up there. Oh, oh, oh. Can we make a torquing pin of a Goron torquing that says oh,

Chris 18:15
okay, so I have to go. I have to get up somehow to the second level. All right. We’ll come back here. Trustee.

Haney 18:23
Ah. Ah, you got a small key.

Chris 18:27
All right. So I feel like so far I’m kind of crushing these puzzles. Yeah,

Haney 18:30
you’re nailing it. Yeah, it’s pretty good.

Chris 18:33
We remember locked door first ramonja into the tub. Yeah.

Haney 18:36
You maybe read back there. Open it up. Yeah, you do. And then you’re back in the central chamber. Cool. Yeah. At this point, you are looking around the central chamber and you see some doors covered in ice. And you see some braziers. Thank you, for everyone who say that.

Chris 18:53
It’s not how you say it.

Haney 18:54
So I left the brown fire. Correct? Yeah. You line yourself up with a bow and arrow, and you’re able to fire an arrow through the brasier into an ice covered door to melt it. So you melted the red door. classic Zelda

Chris 19:11
puzzle. A remember? Just Spencer? Talking. He

Unknown Speaker 19:15
was talking.

Chris 19:16
I’m talking with my listeners.

Haney 19:18
I mean, maybe if you stop using so much time to beat up small dogs for a werewolf. I see no proof of that.

Chris 19:27
What is that saying? Oh, yeah, so you can shoot an arrow through fire to unlock ice stuff. Yeah. As long as the fire connects with the ice,

Haney 19:36
you get into some more of the off chambers and eventually you find out that you’re just making shortcuts essentially. So this all leads you to a shortcut back to that first frozen door in the entrance to the temple. So now the three doors that were there Upon entering, if you remember a dear listener, which of course you do. Oh, that the one straight ahead was frozen the one to the left was locked in the one to the right was wide open. No three open great cool you can fucking walk around wherever you want.

Chris 20:08
I played this for four hours and you’re confusing me. Yeah, that’s fair.

Haney 20:13
Fucking learn how to play video games god yeah, that’s reasonable. Yeah, all of this is gonna be edited down to just Chris screaming obscenities into the microphone. I’m

Unknown Speaker 20:21
sure that’s fine.

Haney 20:24
So you got through a locked door at this point. And there’s a whole person there. A wolf. This is a large white werewolf. Yeah, yeah. You beat this one though. And when you do you get a chest reveal. And in this is the compass. Oh, you got compass? Well help you know the compass this

Chris 20:45
marks where I’ve entered a room and where I am on the map and also the treasure chests. Yes. Basically stuff I don’t give a shit about

Haney 20:53
the compass in conjunction with the map is probably the most useful tools in Zelda. Chris will not hear a word of that. Actually. Probably the sword is the master sorry.

Chris 21:04
Well, just sword in general. Yeah, yeah.

Haney 21:06
Was you don’t even you don’t even have the Master Sword in this game. No, no, never. You have the Kokiri sorry.

Chris 21:11
Well, I do now.

Haney 21:13
Yeah. Why did you don’t need the masters? Are you gonna fucking matter?

Chris 21:16
I know. It’s out there for me. I’ll find it.

Haney 21:18
It’s in the monkeys have it in the woods. Go back there. Damn it. No. So how do you get the campus in the same room? You see a suspicious crack in a wall?

Chris 21:29
This wall is suspicious. Why do you say that? It’s got a big crack in it.

Unknown Speaker 21:33
What do you usually do with a suspicious crack wall?

Chris 21:36
Well, first we try and punch him.

Unknown Speaker 21:37
Yeah. How’d that do? Not good.

Chris 21:41
Next, we try and blown the fuck up. I can’t use a bomb as a Goron Yeah, that seems kind of silly.

Unknown Speaker 21:51
Yeah, okay, this

Chris 21:52
is what I needed.

Haney 21:53
Oh, bomber reveal. Secret Passage. Bomb reveal. It reveals a secret passage that heads upstairs. This heads to a puzzle room that I think you actually enjoy it. So this is the icicle chamber where you have the pedestals that slowly go up in a circle to a raised ledge. But they’re all have precarious stalagmites wait on Slack mites might fall on you. Yeah, it’s like mites from the ceiling. And you have to use your heroes bow. Talk to me about that.

Chris 22:27
Well, you got to shoot these stalagmites from the ceiling. Yeah. So a you knock the ones that fall on you off. And be you clear out the ice sits on top of these pedestals so you can hop your way around. The reason I chuckled. Is this like tight? Yeah, because it

Haney 22:43
holds tightly. Yeah, cuz it’s tight on the the except they’re not. They’re never tight. It’s like a thing.

Chris 22:49
I mean, you know? Yeah. Proper stalagmites are tight. You shouldn’t be messing around with them. The reason that didn’t work for you? And it was because they’re icicles nuts, like tight.

Haney 22:59
satisfaire Oh, wow, that.

Unknown Speaker 23:02
Oh, what’s going on out there?

Chris 23:04
So you got some icicles from the ceiling? Yeah. And they’re suspiciously loose. Would

Haney 23:09
you say? Well, I

Chris 23:10
was gonna say they seem to be arranged above some ice towers. They need to shatter. Oh, clever. Clever girl. Oh, wow.

Haney 23:20
Did you happen to notice the other icicles up there?

Chris 23:23
There’s so many icicles. How am I supposed to keep track of all of them? How am I supposed to hit these ones?

Haney 23:29
Chris is a big FPS player and oh, he’s mad right now because he doesn’t have a reticle reticule. reticule.

Chris 23:36
Yeah, I’m just gonna ignore the icicles or you’re trying to kill me.

Haney 23:40
Yeah. You make your way through this little policy of shooting down slag sickles or whatever the fuck they’re called. And you get to cheat. You get a you get a chest I tried to say in chest and key at the same time. So you got a chi? Yeah. So you got a chest with a key in it.

Chris 24:00
I maxed out on rupees now. Nice. I need a big rupee sack. Oh, yeah. You don’t have an adult wallet. I need my adults. Can you have they

Haney 24:09
don’t want? Yeah.

Chris 24:10
Once upon a time. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 24:12
Use your booty.

Chris 24:14
You said dump truck. Dump it. Dump it on me. Open the chests.

Haney 24:21
Just with the key. Yeah. Use that key to unlock the door that’s in the icicle room. And there’s a puzzle room with pillar slash buttons is what my note says.

Chris 24:35
The way this room works is you have a lower section of the room that divides to higher sections. And when you come through, there’s a button on your side that if you smash it with your booty, it’ll raise a little pillar for you to be able to hop across. Yeah. And once you get to the other side, there’s another button. Why did they go on cross the road to Smash that button, press the other booty. So if you put your booty on the button on the other side, it’ll raise a second pillar in the middle of the room. That’s in the like lower section. Yeah. And a clock starts ticking. So you know that you gotta do something within this timeframe. And when the time’s up, the pillar that you just raised in the middle of the room goes back down. There’s no way to describe this in a way.

Haney 25:29
That’s not entertaining. It’s not good. It’s a fucking puzzle is

Chris 25:35
when you spill your booty on the pillars and you make them go. Oh, listen, the booty and after you figure out your booty puzzle, you go through the door, please. I booted and then I went the door. Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 25:52
Oh, good morning,

Chris 25:53
but because I already put that one down. This one’s just stays up permanently. Yes. Excellent. Now you’re over here. pauses and poopies Posies and poopies. So that appraises that and it’s clocked. Yeah, so it’s gonna go down, but I’m not sure what that’s going to do for me. Born so some very specific skill set. It is pounding,

Unknown Speaker 26:18
pounding and rolling.

Chris 26:22
All right, so that that button will probably lower the pillar that’s blocking the ice wall, but I don’t know why I care about that.

Haney 26:30
Is this a really? Oh, well, yeah.

Chris 26:37
Smash that. Pound it. Dump it. Excellent. He solved it.

Unknown Speaker 26:47
Wait, wait a second.

Haney 26:50
What’s happened here? something’s funny. Also, Chris, if you look at your map, I believe that it’s blocking a door. No, it’s not.

Unknown Speaker 26:58
I don’t know what the fuck is blocking.

Chris 27:00
Oh, I see. Okay. All right. Gotcha. So that time we’re cooking with us, you know? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 27:06
All right. Show me show me what you’re working with here. Chris.

Chris 27:11
Told me what you got. Show

Haney 27:12
me these pro strats. Here we go. You ready? Yeah. All right. So that lower that one to raise this one. I never assumed that.

Chris 27:19
You could put this one back. And then I bet you have to do this.

Haney 27:23
Oh, interesting. Yeah. Oh, again. Oh, but now to get back up. There. He’s this bad boy. Ah, solved it

Chris 27:33
can’t believe I beat the temple.

Haney 27:36
So this dumps you back out in the central room again. Yeah, speaking of dumps, and this is the part where you have to use the ledge around the edge of the room as a gore on to roll between. So

Chris 27:49
you say the central corridor. But we are a level higher than we were previously. So we’re kind of working ourselves up the

Haney 27:57
tempo, I would say you’re spiraling up. Yeah, that’s a good way. Like think of it think of the whole temple as like a spiral staircase up to the top. And the top is where the bosses and that’s basically what we’re doing. Sometimes you have to run back downstairs, sometimes you have to fall back downstairs because there’s because you gotta get a problem. But basically, the entire point of the sample is to work your way up in a rough spiral shape. Towards the very top point.

Chris 28:20
I sure got worked up. Yeah.

Haney 28:23
So you didn’t do too bad. Actually, you You figured this out pretty quickly. So you were struggling with the Goron role, though, at this point.

Chris 28:32
It’s yeah, it’s very hard for me to aim that booty.

Haney 28:35
But you did eventually get to the point where you realize what you needed to do is go on roll. It’s called wall running. Yeah, it’s actually very similar to wall running. But if you’re borrowing and you roll and said,

Chris 28:50
Yeah, it’s wall rolling.

Haney 28:52
So what where are we at here? What do we got? Oh, no. Um,

Unknown Speaker 29:00
have you considered getting your bearings? I don’t like that. All right.

Chris 29:04
It’s a waste of time, honey. Excellent. So got a torch right there. Yeah. Probably need to use on ice.

Unknown Speaker 29:09
Is there any ice in here? Yeah, we

Chris 29:11
got that. Ah, but the problem is, I’m very bad at rolling and I need to roll across these bridges.

Haney 29:20
There you go. There you go. Now, Nailed it. Nailed it. Where are you now?

Unknown Speaker 29:26
Where am I?

Haney 29:27
I don’t know. Maybe have you gotten your bearings? Ah. Oh,

Chris 29:33
why does this game have better jiggle physics?

Unknown Speaker 29:35
How dare you.

Chris 29:37
I want to see my Gorin chest you’ve,

Unknown Speaker 29:39
again, your rock

Haney 29:40
hard. That’s true. If only there was a way for us to figure out how to go, Hey, I’m

Chris 29:46
not opening my map. If I’m

Haney 29:48
just saying I’m not saying that that’s the solution. I’m just saying because I’m not doing it. If only there was a way if there isn’t No, there’s no way leave it alone. I know it’d be really, really good.

Unknown Speaker 30:00
Ah, we’re here. Here we are. Just just jump right

Haney 30:04
off by by.

Unknown Speaker 30:07
So what’s going on in here?

Chris 30:08
Well, the room below me is the central room. They got all tasteful cutscene of earlier. Yeah.

Haney 30:14
So I would say you’re in that room still just on a different floor. Yeah. Was that your hair and like eyebrow assets that were just floating, hopefully. Yeah,

Chris 30:26
no problem. Easy. I wish it was harder.

Haney 30:29
Yeah. I mean, you make it look good while you’re doing it. That’s

Chris 30:32
the problem. No, that’s just my pictorials.

Haney 30:36
They really said nipples, didn’t they? Sure. Did.

Chris 30:39
Somebody really leaned into the? And I get it? Yeah, no.

Haney 30:45
See, you make it over to the next door. Basically, the only place you can go

Chris 30:50
by sliding your bulk across the wall. Yeah.

Haney 30:53
And you’re gonna meet bass. This was your first Wizzrobe Yeah, yeah. How did you feel about Wizzrobe? I don’t like him. Is it because he killed you once? No, I don’t like I mean, I wasn’t guilty twice.

Chris 31:07
So I didn’t love listen. I’m saying there’s two things I don’t like about this guy. A was that he killed me twice. Yeah. After I con to the strike. It was fine. Yeah. But I also don’t like his design.

Haney 31:20
It’s uh, it’s I think the only design in the in Madras mass that I don’t like, but whatever. He kicked your ass though.

Chris 31:27
So when you enter the room, there’s kind of four balls and magic in the floor and wizard will teleport from one tile to another. And then blast you with icy farts? Yes, some shit.

Haney 31:40
he shits ice on you. Yeah,

Chris 31:42
he also dumps wet ice on the floor. And you step in it. It’ll freeze you you freeze.

Haney 31:48
Also, if he just hits you, you take damage to all of those things happen to you?

Chris 31:53
Yeah, numerous times.

Unknown Speaker 31:56
Ah, mini boss.

Unknown Speaker 31:59
What the fuck?

Haney 32:00
Is there a problem here?

Unknown Speaker 32:01
Why is he so fast?

Haney 32:02
He’s fast. Ah, ha. seems not good. Trick dia. Spooky.

Chris 32:11
He doesn’t want you to get close. Ah, gotcha. I don’t even need lock on. I’m just that good. Yeah, you are. Whoa.

Haney 32:18

Unknown Speaker 32:20
now he’s going diagonally, dear. Oh, now. where’s it gonna be?

Chris 32:26
Oh, that’s there’s like puddles?

Haney 32:28
Ah, can’t can’t have read these unpleasant puddle buddies.

Unknown Speaker 32:33
Oh, he’s laughing.

Unknown Speaker 32:34
Yeah, he’s kind of an asshole.

Unknown Speaker 32:35
Yeah. No, Perry’s huh. No. Oh, no.

Haney 32:42
Ratchet that death counter up by one son. You died. Yeah. Well, that’s okay. Cuz you came back and stronger than

Chris 32:50
ever. Is this really the way I have to go to get back?

Haney 32:54
I just assumed you were running your maps not even on the map. Would you say that? Puzzles are the best part of Zelda.

Chris 33:06
No, I would say clock towns

Haney 33:08
the best part clock downs. Great. Let’s go back there. Fuck temple. Yeah.

Chris 33:11
Why am I doing this? I don’t know. To myself or the listener?

Haney 33:14
I assume it’s mostly so that we can just get back the clock down.

Chris 33:17
Yeah, everything else is just an interruption to cocktail. Yeah,

Haney 33:21
I’m totally okay with that. It’s like how everything in Final Fantasy seven was just pull me away from bone village. Welcome. Welcome to bone Ville, it may help you forget partway through that you needed the Goron pound the ground round as they say and that’s what

Chris 33:38
they call my dump truck.

Unknown Speaker 33:40
Yeah. Ah, yeah. Oh, that was bullshit.

Chris 33:47
I bet I can find some Hearthstone here.

Haney 33:49
Probably. Maybe even a fairy? I don’t know if there’s a fairy down here, but that’d be fucking sweet. Oh, yeah, there is nice. Nice. Nice. Yeah, you did? Yeah. Now definitely switch it off of your thing. So you don’t accidentally press it? How dare you?

Chris 34:03
I want it do you?

Unknown Speaker 34:05
What are you that would that you’ve eaten through the delicious

Chris 34:08
How many times have we been in this room? Any?

Haney 34:12

Unknown Speaker 34:13
puzzle room this room? Yeah.

Haney 34:16
Six. I lost

Unknown Speaker 34:18
count. Honestly. Smack that ass. Smack it.

Chris 34:23
Eat it like a snack.

Haney 34:25
Some groceries? Did you know I’m excited for our lunch after this.

Chris 34:30
Yeah, yeah. We got a lot of good stuff.

Haney 34:33
Do you want to pizza rolls or? No?

Chris 34:36
I want all of the above.

Haney 34:38
Oh, no. Yeah, I told you now. I know. I’m not supposed to. But I can’t.

Chris 34:44
I thought you were talking about the pizza rolls. Yeah, no, no, we can.

Haney 34:47
I’m fine with the other pizza rolls or egg rolls. I like all of it. It’s breaded product rolled around other products that I like to eat.

Unknown Speaker 34:54
I’m fine with whatever.

Haney 34:56
Just twist it and go into one. Do it do it?

Chris 34:58
Absolutely not. Hey,

Haney 35:00
I just thought you’re a pro gamer why? I don’t know.

Chris 35:03
Did you stop watching me at some point

Haney 35:07
we were actually at the death counter by one and you go in now you’re pro boy understand all the strats you kill him and your prize for killing him his fire arrows Yeah

Chris 35:19
Which is pretty fucking tight actually.

Haney 35:21
Yeah describe a fire arrow it’s an arrow it’s got fire on the tip which means you can now

Chris 35:28
melt ice that’s blocking all these doors and

Haney 35:31
without the trouble of trying to line up a bra fire.

Unknown Speaker 35:34
Yeah, yeah.

Haney 35:37
Nuts so now you can go diagonally.

Chris 35:40
I honestly haven’t been tracking him at all so

Unknown Speaker 35:43
Oh, there’s multiples.

Chris 35:46
Tried to judge tried to judge

Haney 35:49
me to get off of that thing. Oh, he got me any I know. Sorry. I’m wincing a lot. Oh, nice. Yeah, can’t believe you. Beat twin robe. So I was called probably what a piece of shit Wizzrobe rather Wizzrobe not not twin rope.

Unknown Speaker 36:06
She sucks. Ah,

Haney 36:07
you got fire arrows? What? What will what?

Unknown Speaker 36:11
Wait, this is where I want to be.

Haney 36:12
I don’t know. It’s new. Isn’t it new? New floor. Oh, you’re all the way at the top. Daddy do can’t believe you can’t inspire arrows as Goron

Chris 36:21
what can the girl undo?

Haney 36:23
What does a gore on do you think you need to shoot that from all the way up here now? You can do whatever you want ah, it’s evening of the second day Christopher

Chris 36:35
Yeah, that’s okay. Yeah, we’ll talk about doing up here

Haney 36:40
after you got the fire as my next note is just that you’re asserting Melton doors Yeah, that’s because you kind of went just nuts going around just melting anything you can with the fire hose wouldn’t you? Yeah, it’s the point of the game you want for me? Yeah. So I ran around Milton those bad door yeah, see Melton doors kind of just start going into the offshoot rooms on this level. Working right through them you pick up at stray ferry from the chest, which is pretty cool. Stuff standing under.

Chris 37:10
What does it say?

Haney 37:11
I can’t I can’t read my own handwriting standing under something are something ah, something else. Hello? Not sure you died though. Okay to whatever

Unknown Speaker 37:23
this is so fucking okay.

Haney 37:27
Not really sure what killed you here but you died. All right. I think it’s a wolf house. Oh, no. You were standing under the fucking icicles makeup falling on you. And then you just died. Oh, I remember that. Standing on a craps. That’s what it says.

Chris 37:40
I don’t remember that either.

Unknown Speaker 37:42
Punch him.

Chris 37:44
Punch it chewy.

Haney 37:46
You’ve never seen Star Wars. Why are you tell our listeners why you’ve never seen? I’ve watched almost every Star Wars movie. Almost all us. I haven’t watched the last one. You’re fine. You’ve watched every Star Wars movie then. Stop. Oh, and another death?

Chris 38:06
No, no, no. No, it doesn’t count. I had a fairy. Yeah. It doesn’t punch me back to the start of the dungeon. Which is what usually happens when you die without a fairy.

Haney 38:18
I’m going to make a separate counter for fairy deaths. Says death saved by fairy

Chris 38:24
not either saved or it was a death and I’m still alive so let’s save you fucking monster

Haney 38:28
maybe we’re trying to attract skill in this game. Chris.

Unknown Speaker 38:32
Are we

Chris 38:33
were playing the wrong game with the wrong people? Ah Oh

Haney 38:38
god, why don’t you Why did you make it stronger? Oh gosh. But your death gets kind of negated because you had a fairy? Yeah, God. Yeah, baby. And

Chris 38:51
this is a pivotal moment for this season. Dear listeners, because Henny has finally admitted that what link is doing is consuming the flesh and soul of these fairies. Yeah,

Haney 39:02
eat them. Yeah, he fries them and crunches their little tiny delicious bodies. All

Chris 39:07
right. Well, we didn’t that’s fine. But you also mentioned Hannah, you want to start kind of to death counters for those Yeah,

Haney 39:13
so I feel like it’s still a death right because Chris still fucked up.

Chris 39:17
That’s not how one ups work dude,

Haney 39:19
but Final Fantasy doesn’t have one upside Phoenix downs. I

Chris 39:23
don’t have Phoenix downs. But Phoenix downs don’t

Haney 39:25
automatically go off if you have three party members though, right? Yeah, but that’s a different kind of game.

Chris 39:31
Alright, listeners call in before the lines are open.

Haney 39:35
We can go any further in this relationship. First Encounter will not release new episodes until you all tweet at us at one st encounter pod. And tell us if Chris gets saved after a death by a fairy. Does it count?

Chris 39:54
No, that’s a one. That’s a one up

Haney 39:56
it doesn’t matter. You died still I didn’t die. I didn’t die. Titan game back.

Chris 40:01
What is dead can never die.

Haney 40:02
Thanks so much for listening to the first encounter podcast. If you want the journey to continue, please support us at patreon.com/first encounter, find our socials and contact info at first encounter podcast.com Please stop by and say hey, our intro and outro music is by Alden Zach question for you, but it’s disgusting and stupid but it is a genuine question that I do not know the answer to and I’m actually curious, but it’s still stupid and Chris, okay, what a setup. If you find it in a bottle and had a seal on it. Do you think it would stay in? Like how long like would it dissipate over time? I don’t know enough about science. I feel like in like exchange of gas. I don’t know listener reach out to us if you’re, you know, hood now. Dr. J. Yeah, actually, actually.

Unknown Speaker 40:48
I’m not gonna text them.

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